How to handle a Brat

[hr****]

New to this. Have a woman who keeps referring to herself as a Brat and has indicated she wants me to take charge. How?? lol. Any one have and good references or advice?

[RedFoxUK]

If you're not naturally dominant that's quite a difficult thing to change. Your profile lists you as Submissive... I know some people like to switch, but in my experience you have a natural leaning on way or the other (I know I'm generalising a little here).

[Br****]

Calm confidence , kind assertiveness, and quiet dominance

[Hr****]

If you have to ask .. maybe find someone you can handle?

[Bo****]

Ask them to explain how they are a brat.

[Th****]

There are so many ways.
A brat is just a sub who wants to be shown why to submit.

Be playful with her. Show her you are in charge without being mean or shit like that. Tease and denial, orgasms control for example

[Wh****]

I’m a brat when I don’t get enough attention, ask if her brattiness is in response to something and what can make her feel more secure so she will be a good girl. It’s confidence and strong reassurance for me to calm my inner brat. Talk to her.

[sa****]

24 minutes ago, Hrafngud said:

If you have to ask .. maybe find someone you can handle?

Is this really a suitable attitude for a friendly and open community where someone new to some lifestyle respectfully asks for an advice?…

[Deleted Member]

Brats are difficult if you haven't sat down and established ground rules. You can't simply wait for her to brat and then try to correct that action. You need to have a talk on how she would like to be reeled in. She needs to accept the level of corrective action that you will take. If its something you are interested in and it makes her excited then go forth young man. But you can't play with a brat when she doesn't know when and how you are going to bring her in line. Personally ive come across more brats that just want to brat without reprocussions than brats that do it as part of dynamic play. Have a sut down and iron out the details. There's lots of testimonials and how to's that you can use to get ideas before the talk online. Just make sure that you and her are on the same page. Good luck

[mi****]

Personally I like being a brat because I want to be punished and made to submit, but I also like doing it for my dom. If they’ve had a rough day and want a reason to be a bit meaner (consensually of course) and use me for stress relief.

If that makes sense?

Is she more of an independent and in control person day to day? I know I am which is why I like being a brat because sometimes I don’t know how to ask for what I want because I’m accustomed to that. I know it can be frustrating though to a dom if a sub seems to want to be a brat just to be a brat. I’d just ask her what she wants and why. Communication is key.

[Th****]

Read "The Way of the Superior Man" and make conscious decision. Mine wasnt "a brat" but she wanted me to take charge and lead her around too. Just take charge like a man and do what you want

[Ro****]

Communication is key. Tell them that you want to learned how to tame her and that you are new to it. She might be hesitant a first but be honesty about your intentions. I love a good Brat. You just need to open the line of communication and see where ot goes.

[my****]

In my experience Brats are a little like fishing. You sink your hook then they fight - run - thrash and you keep reeling them in slowly. Let them tire themselves out. Then you bring them in with a net.

[Pr****]

That isn't being a brat. Nothing was consenting or discussed. It's someone pushing a dynamic on you recklessly and I suspect it'll get ugly quickly with those kind of "brats" from my own experiences early on.

[Pr****]

45 minutes ago, Hrafngud said:

If you have to ask .. maybe find someone you can handle?

Find someone that can communicate their needs, wants, and expectations with him clearly so he isn't blindsided or put in a shitty situation.*

Handling is not the right term, despite whatever bravado you think you have.

[Da****]

A brat needs either a rule or command to fight against. Dont be passive. Pick something like what u want her to wear or something u want her to do and give those instructions clearly and then have in mind how u will handle her being disobedient. Because she will be. Sassy mouth. Using loopholes. Etc. Shes looking for you to assert control by pushing back when she pushes boundaries.

Have a clear understanding of what kinds of punishment are on and off the table. Be creative too. Not every punishment is a spanking. And remember that u dont have to jump to exactly the same degree every time.

Its a learning curve and needs to be tailored to you and to her. Best of luck.

[Si****]

My 1st question is do the 2 of you have an established kink relationship or did she just drop this behavior on you & expect you to respond within her guidelines?

[To****]

Bratting isn’t a problem. It’s how she checks whether I’m actually present and capable of leading.
When she pushes, she’s really asking: “Are you steady enough to hold me?”

Here’s how I handle it:

1. I don’t react. I direct.
If she’s trying to provoke a reaction, and I get flustered, she’s in control.
So I slow down. I speak softer.
That’s where the authority is

2. My expectations are clear and simple.
No debates, no monologues.

“When I speak to you, you answer”
Straightforward. That’s enough

3. I rein*** what I want to see.
Brats respond incredibly well to calm approval.
A quiet, “Good girl”
A hand in her hair.
She settles when she feels she’s being held, not managed.

4. When she says “make me,” I don’t argue.
I take one step closer, look her in the eyes, and say:

“I wasn’t asking”
No heat, no edge. Just certainty.

Bratting fades when she trusts the person leading her.
It’s not about punishment or control for its own sake; it’s about presence.

You don’t “handle” a brat.
You lead her until she no longer needs to test that you can!

[Sw****]

3 hours ago, kickpuncher said:

Ask her to make a sandwich and if she refuses show her the back of your hand.
Never fails.

That DV not brat taming 🙄

[KT****]

Sometimes being a brat is more fun than sexual. I agree with DaddyforPrincess, giving a punishment is like a tease for us. It allows brats to play scenarios out in our head and gives us ways to think outside the box to be sly and try to establish dominance (in a way). Its like a game (at least it is for me). Again the punishment can literally be anything...a look of disapproval, a verbal warning, an empty threat (if you're into that). As always make sure you're on the same page when it comes to things like that.
I love pushing boundaries and kind of annoying my husband, it builds more frustration and can just lead to a different style of sex... if that makes sense.

[hr****]

1 hour ago, Sir_Andrew_X said:

My 1st question is do the 2 of you have an established kink relationship or did she just drop this behavior on you & expect you to respond within her guidelines?

We’re just getting to know each other

[hr****]

2 hours ago, TheBaithoven said:

There are so many ways.
A brat is just a sub who wants to be shown why to submit.

Be playful with her. Show her you are in charge without being mean or shit like that. Tease and denial, orgasms control for example

That I can do

[hu****]

Just put a over your knee and Smack her bum

[wi****]

You need to have a mutually established conversation. Know what her limits are. Have a safe word. Establish the boundaries and go from there

[AKA_Copper]

There are two kinds of brats, those that shouts they're a "brat" as loud as they can and those that are able to provide a rationale as to why they brat, what their needs are and what their expectations are in a response.
The latter are the emotionally mature ones. The former not so much.
No one here can tell you why they brat/how to manage it. You need to have an open conversation with them to find out the why etc. If they can't do that, that should tell you all you need to know.
There are a couple of good forum posts here detailing the complexities of brats if you search for them.