The Kink-Supply Disconnect

[Ma****]

15 hours ago, fixugood said:

I agree with what you say MaskKinkCouple. This I say my intuition not maybe 100% term I meant. But more like there being an awareness that I'm aware I can tell when I'm engaging in kink, when the goal of satisfying my partners kink at that moment, hopefully longer than a couple mins at the least after the communication and consent have been agreed upon, after that I'm making observations and deciding do the end goals come closer to my reach or is my partner losing that excitement and that is guiding me. For me I guess I'm looking for intuitively beyond the point where the play starts. This anyway is how I try to play a role and keep a good safe distance from the boundaries and know if I'm getting closer to mine and my partners goals. That's what I meant by that comment not intuition, but intuitively between me and my partner in being able to realize before I lose that control completely and being told the safeword how to keep my partner excited and keep them up there as long as I want. Just by listening and observing knowing which way to move with it after is what I meant the intuitivity between participants

So this community is wide and varied but to me, the safeword is a point that should never be met. It's that rip cord that says hey I'm not enjoying this anymore, we're going too far, I'm getting hurt or I feel unsafe. My job as a Dom is always to have full control of myself, my safety margin and understanding of my partner should keep me well away from that limit. I'll be honest I don't take pleasure from dolling out a spanking, flogging, clamping, choking or degrading of my partners, but I 100% feed of the pleasure they get from it. Seeing that I can meet their needs is my reward, not the act. I'm sure there are plenty at the other end of the spectrum, but it sounds much more scary, to me, being in those hands. If they loose control and the safeword is deployed, right as they're getting their jollys... for me that sounds unsafe. But each to their own I guess I'm not here to yuck anyone else's yum. But it strikes me knowing the limits and keeping in control and we'll within them would save on a feeling of dissatisfaction by either party.

[Ro****]

First, I see if they go straight to sex talk or if they can do a vanilla conversation.
Then I will ask them about their experience or if they have yet to, how they have come to the desire the dynamic . Mentally, I note nuances and such as I go. It takes several of these conversations and trial and error over a decade seeking the right complimentary opposite.

I also notice their communication style to see if it works with mine.

Then the final kicker ask them something slightly uncomfortable and just slightly confrontational to see how they react or if they take the bait and show any hint of a negative reaction or can handle it like an adult.

[Wi****]

There’s a great podcast called Dom Sub Living that did a great episode on vetting Doms on 26 Aug 2024

[su****]

If someone can't lead a conversation, I have little hope of them being able to lead, instruct or Dominate a submissive.

[Deleted Member]

Monday at 07:01 PM, Windsor6Collar said:

There’s a great podcast called Dom Sub Living that did a great episode on vetting Doms on 26 Aug 2024

Thank you for this nugget of information. I will for sure check out this podcast.