Ja**** Posted Saturday at 09:00 PM Real Dom is emotional intelligence, caring and understanding and same with Sub. They are good partners listen when you are feeling down and love you, healthy way.
De**** Posted 5 hours ago Ziggy I really appreciate your post as it is a discussion and topic that should be normalized to educate, share, receive and offer closure. I’ve read every response to this post. Including my own from 3 months ago. There are kinksters and posers. Using myself as an example I only had an idea of what I was doing as a dom because I knew what consent and negotiation was, but I never did anything intense until I met a sub that wanted to do more intense things with me. I never identified as a dom until fully embracing the scene and how I wanted to navigate it. A dom without integrity or respect will always lose out in the end. Even if they have your pics and vids and post it on the internet. That isn’t real power and it isn’t power over you. It’s feer. I test doms/dommes sometimes posing as subby. Mistresses wanting me to pey them in exchange for being their slave as well as wanting vids and pics to keep as collateral to scam me with later. Similar to “if you are really a sub you would x” here’s my response to this, “if you were a real dom/domme you would know what consent and negotiation is” if they aren’t teachable they are reported and 💀 to me. I encourage everyone to take similar actions. I’ve made long distance play partners. Pics and vids are not the only ways to connect in a d/s relationship. Whether someone is scamming your funds, trust, or body. There is no reason whatsoever to rush into anything. Pressure and desire over caution and patience will cause one to ignore all the risks. Posers will use the manipulative type of pressure to see what they can get away with. Not too long ago a sub of mine asked me to vet another Dom. Things were going well and he was bound for approval until he completely disregarded the procedure, tried to push me out, and told my sub, “I’m only here to talk to you and have fun. We don’t need someone to approve of us meeting.” Super nice and easy going at first, but became avoidant around subjects that required discussion and closure. As my sub is one of many in this community that has had a history of fake doms and wanted assistance. It’s also really important to note the diversity in the kink scene. Some heteronormative expectations can go to an extreme that isn’t realistic and fake doms exploit that expectation and have an overly simplified understanding of the type of relationship they want. Anyone LGBTQ+ are not shy about their weariness of men. Let alone male doms. I mean the other day I read a post from a guy that was really into cuntbusting like ball busting, but for women. Read his profile and he was transparent in having ZERO experience. 🤦🏻♂️ At the very least he was honest and clear about his intentions. If you love the scene stay curious. Don’t let fake doms and fake people make you believe they had any power over you in the first place. They do their careless damage, you don’t have to get over it, but they don’t matter anymore and can’t hurt you again. You don’t have to be scared of the next one, but continue to put your safety and health first before you trust. For any new subs or doms, educate yourself and practice. Access to that is everywhere. Understand what consent, negotiation, and what power exchange is before any type of play. Thanks again Ziggy. Hope to see more comments here and wish everyone well on your kinky journey.
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