Using the same toys on different partners

[Th****]

Obviously cleaning before hand lol. The key is to get 100% silicone, glass, and stainless steel toys. These can be boiled which will completely sanitize them as well as remove and odors or stains.

[Wo****]

If it were me I would like to see the toys cleand infront of me knowing that there clean but also to me a dom sub relationship is built on trust.

[my****]

Imagine you went to a yard sale and found a flashlight for sale.

Would you buy it? What if they said it was cleaned?

Have fewer partners or buy cheaper toys.

[he****]

What about using protection on the toys

[he****]

Or have your sub bring their toys

[Do****]

I don’t think that’s necessary. You can get basic hygienic cleaners for toys. I use Milton tablets too. Most things are waterproof so can be soaked in Milton to sterilise them. There’s antibacterial wipes or antibacterial sprays, if they can’t be washed and soaked in water to sterilise afterwards. If they have a thorough clean after every use then they stay clean as new all the time.

[Do****]

Use condoms on toys. Still sterilize after but it saves you from having to have multiple sets

[Deleted Member]

I don’t like a used toy. That extends to myself. I own none. Only sensory toys.

[Deleted Member]

Impact

[Co****]

Clean, and use dental dams/ rubber sheets (for the Sybian, massage table, padded bench etc) and condoms over your toys to ensure direct contact is not consistent between play partners.

The fact you have these things, use them and tell people in advance will take 98.8% of potential ick out of the situation.

Unless each new play partner thinks they are the one and only person to potentially ever use a particular toy, for instance, by misleading statements, you should be good.

Also, part of the boundary discussions would now include this topic and if someone has a boundary of say, "anything put inside me can't be used on someone else" for instance. I'd have no problems asking them to purchase the toys they want for themselves, for you to use with them. Their choice, size, colour, "theirs" in all ways.

[Sh****]

I feel like any mature person is going to understand someone having a collection and not expecting you to buy new toys every single time. Especially if you buy quality stuff, that'd be hella expensive lol. If it makes them more comfortable you can offer to clean it in front of them? I clean my toys after each use personally, and with a new partner I wouldn't expect to be the first to ever use a toy and/or get grossed out if I wasn't.

[al****]

We have a sybian and wash after every use with new partners and if someone asked we would use protection as well…we have only ever been told once that someone thought it was “gross “ to share the parts

[ne****]

This is a great question iv spent hundreds.

[Deleted Member]

I bypass the problem by using a condom as I would a new partner. Because my kink is intimate, I am not grossed out, I feel that ‘use’ and great everyone was pleased, but, it reduces my excitement. People have the right to feel anyway they like.

[Deleted Member]

Negotiate with your partners

[Do****]

I’d say use condoms , even if they Trojan slims so it doesn’t feel that much different because that’s utis and such start

[BD****]

I buy all my Subs remote/app controlled toys. On special occasions and for rewards from opening up and trusting me with their kinks. Makes it funnier to share. Then I’ll get the a harness. Collar. So on, till we have a treasure chest at there place, and mine. And yes, it gets expensive. That’s why I take it slow. And I’m very good at what I do. Not to toot my own horn. I’ve just been at it so long. Studied it, learned it, became IT. First gift is usually after a couple months or so or when we hit a mile stone. Like when my Sub tries something they were afraid of. And maybe they like it. Maybe they don’t. I’ll reward for trying and sharing and trusting me. It’s not me buying them with gifts. It’s showing them I appreciate the honesty. And to try and encourage that further. So your trust is so great, they’d jump backwards knowing you’re already there to catch them. Hope this helps.
-BDMSDC

[De****]

I would never ever be willing to have toys reused on me. Cleanliness is certainly one thing, but it’s also just icky. You can talk to your partners, but there are going to be people who don’t consent to it.

[In****]

It's gonna vary widely, both from partner to partner and toy to toy.

Most people aren't going to mind you using the same paddle on their ass, But some will.

Most people won't want to use the same butt plug as someone else, but some will.

Other toys fall along that spectrum.

I don't do financial support as a part of my dynamics, so we usually work out where the line is, and then strategize based on what they already have and Like used on them, with maybe plans for birthday or other presents at times.

[Se****]

So, I have a two pronged thought process on this but basically my answer is no, I DO NOT want to have toys, implements or anything else used on me that have been used with/on others.

My main reason is not actually to do with cleanliness or safety, if I trust you to play with me I trust you to clean your damn toys. My main reason is associations - I overthink MASSIVELY and I struggle to get out of my own head. If we’re playing and you’re using something you’ve used with someone else I’m going to start panicking that you will start thinking about them or that I’ll start thinking about them. From that point it’s a downward spiral - yes I’m insecure, yes I’m jealous, yes it’s a me problem but I’m not prepared to bring problems into a relationship/play session that can easily be avoided.

The second reason is indeed cleanliness. I would trust the person to be clean but I just don’t want to think about the accidental misses.

I’ve had this discussion with many people over the years, some have understood my point, some haven’t, some have got arsey (but at least they’ve shown their red flags early).

Might my viewpoint change in future with the right person, perhaps but unlikely. But if a potential partner can’t accept my thoughts on this or even discuss them then they aren’t the person for me.

And no, I don’t just want someone to spend m0ney on me, I’m perfectly happy to pay for myself or shop together for a longer term relationship. 

[Do****]

If there were subbies who wanted their own things, and were happy to purchase them, then I’d be surprised if there were a Dom/me who wasn’t happy to give links to the items wanted. I certainly would. But no subby has asked so far so my things seem to be fine 🤷🏻‍♀️

[VILKDUJA]

2 hours ago, SerendipitousKeeper said:

So, I have a two pronged thought process on this but basically my answer is no, I DO NOT want to have toys, implements or anything else used on me that have been used with/on others.

My main reason is not actually to do with cleanliness or safety, if I trust you to play with me I trust you to clean your damn toys. My main reason is associations - I overthink MASSIVELY and I struggle to get out of my own head. If we’re playing and you’re using something you’ve used with someone else I’m going to start panicking that you will start thinking about them or that I’ll start thinking about them. From that point it’s a downward spiral - yes I’m insecure, yes I’m jealous, yes it’s a me problem but I’m not prepared to bring problems into a relationship/play session that can easily be avoided.

The second reason is indeed cleanliness. I would trust the person to be clean but I just don’t want to think about the accidental misses.

I’ve had this discussion with many people over the years, some have understood my point, some haven’t, some have got arsey (but at least they’ve shown their red flags early).

Might my viewpoint change in future with the right person, perhaps but unlikely. But if a potential partner can’t accept my thoughts on this or even discuss them then they aren’t the person for me.

And no, I don’t just want someone to spend m0ney on me, I’m perfectly happy to pay for myself or shop together for a longer term relationship. 

That makes perfect sense & I cannot understand why anyone would struggle to accept this. If someone has the honour and privilege of playing with you, surely it should be a given that it's your way with your rules. You are who you are, you think & reason the way you do with good reason, it's all a part of making you the exceptional, awesome & amazing lady that you are 😊 x

[Ro****]

Wednesday at 11:36 AM, BeardedDemon said:

Agreed! This is a bit of a grey area.
And its a bit awkward to ask a new partner to bring their own toys. Especially if you dont know whats in the arsenal

Ask. Simple. As a solo poly, I come with my own toys. Some were gifted and appreciated but not expected. The more expensive ones I got myself.

[Deleted Member]

Remember that you are also a toy, implement, and insertable. Whether it’s hands for spanking, fingers for probing, mouths for kissing, or tongues for licking. You’ve likely been in intimate places with other people, as has the person that you’re playing with. What routines do you each of you use to ensure that your hygiene game is on point and it’s safe for you to use those parts with your partner? What about your furniture— beds, tables, cages, crosses, benches, tables, and the like?

In general, the rule for me is that it is dependent upon materials and risk factors. Things like cavicide, soap, sterilization pouches, bleach, toy cleaner, autoclaves, and condoms all exist for a reason. Use common sense on what can and cannot be reasonably sanitized between partners and ensure that they are aware and consent.

[Ditchdoc]

Me personally I purchase my own toys. I have a latex allergy and I think that for me its a responsibility for me to make sure anything I use is latex free. I also don't want my partner using something from another relationship. Some things are meant to be used and cleaned (restraints, furniture, paddles, and some ropes) and as long as they are cleaned well I'm ok with those. I don't expect to have toys purchased for me, and would hope my partner doesn't expect me to buy toys for him. I think that those are things to be discussed between partners and maybe even going together to shop for new toys makes for great sex.