Venting

[Th****]

I'm not even sure how to say this but my head is so loud that I have to talk about it cause it's driving me crazy. I don't like the feeling of liking someone it's foreign to me. That's not right I don't know what it's like for someone to really like me for more than just sex. They either love me like a s1ster or they just want to fuck. So now I don't know how to deal with having a crush on someone. This isn't coming out right. Maybe put it like this what do you do when your use to sport fucking and that's no longer your thing or how to I deal with someone just wanting to fuck me and that's it I forgot this is so confusing it's in my head but I can't get what I want to say out right. It sucks when your use to feeling nothing and then you feel everything and it's like times ten.

Any advice about how to deal with it?

[mr****]

I know the feeling princess

[Bi****]

Go on a date or two, try to find a connection, wait for the sex or let it be known that’s your looking for a relationship not just a fuck buddy ‼️

[St****]

As long as the feelings are reciprocated, then I feel that you should ride the way life is all about these ups and downs, and it sounds like you’re in a high spot.

If they’re not reciprocated, be very careful this is a slippery slope. I know I fall down this mountain often.

[Da****]

A period of celibacy and abstinence followed by a heart led engagement with only one select person for a while and if it doesn't match well to end that and repeat the above.

[KG****]

Let go of thought and just let life happen without you pretending you can actually control any of it
Enjoy the ride

[st****]

It's tough to understand someone's motives without asking them. It also such a to get friend zoned. I'm sorry.

[Ma****]

Take time to let yourself feel the feelings. That is the only way that you can sort them out in your head.

[it****]

I relate to this so much! I've only had horrible relationships where I've been used and ***d, and not in a fun way, so I distance myself from people before I can develop feelings. I would say if you're developing a crush and you're not wanting to explore those feelings, some time away may help. Or, you could be honest with them and talk through it. Good luck darlin!

[Ed****]

I think you just got to treat people according and not let your feelings get involved til you know someone is serious about your feelings and that they prove to you that they want you if that make sense don’t stress over something you can’t control just keep doing your part

[mw****]

You just need to be up front with your feelings. Let them know your not looking for something temporary, that you want a long term relationship. That is founded on trust and respect rather than sex. My wife made me wait 6 months while we were dating before we had sex the first time

[js****]

First and foremost do you know if the person likes you back? Nothing wrong with shooting your shot and just seeing what happens. Maybe since you like them don’t rush into sex right away and let anticipation build up for a better experience. If you really like them then really take the effort to get to know them better, maybe find out some of their kinks that way it makes the sex way better.

[JT****]

There's nothing to deal with your just explaining a new level of intimacy and emotions if it makes you happy just enjoy it there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling it's more likely a ball of emotions excitement curiosity happiness maybe scared just be honest and upfront with how you're feeling the only thing that matters is if you're happy and if your happy it doesn't matter (outside of partner) what anyone else thinks its your life only you know what you want and what makes you happy too many people in this world wand others to be worse off than them they'll ruin your happiness to feel better about themselves so don't worry what others think only you have to live everyday with the choices you make. Enjoy your heightened intimacy and happier life ❤️‍🔥

[La****]

I don’t know if it’s advice but I feel you but opposite. I’m used to the men just wanting my body and I’m used to the *** feeling too but I don’t kno what it’s like to being in an equal loving dynamic. Because I’ve only had sex with “partners” or ppl I saw a future with I can’t handle the one night stand feelings. Emotionally having someone inside me that is just here for self gratification is too much of a mental block. I really don’t like that when I meet a man that treats me exceptionally well if it doesn’t work out then that person is no longer in my life. (Gfs don’t like they dynamic, etc) but because I put so much feeling into my love/sex life, I cannot in good conscious touch a man I haven’t gotten to know/build a connection to. I’ve avoided all contact until I was sure in myself of what I wanted and why.
Sport fucking sounds like a lot of instant gratification and there is no healthy way to get that besides like skydiving or something that runs your dopamine up. I like exercising like working on abs you’ll be too tired to do anything else until you more centered and less burnt out

[CopperKnob]

I get it. It's down to a lack of confidence/insecurity and that prevents honest conversation with the other person in case their truth is one you dont want to hear which only results in confusion and various thoughts of self doubt running through your mind like 👆

[Da****]

Sounds like you found someone you really want to be part of your life. Like sex is great but a real connection beyond that is soooo much more. Younhave probably wanted that bit never found the right person. Take your time and go slow and steady.

[ro****]

Stop fw people who just want to fuck , make sex an off limits activity until you establish a bond, also you may want to try giving some action to one of those friends whom you say love you like a ***, one them may be attracted to you but respect and love you too much to ever indulge you may have to throw an alley oop, proceed with caution tho cause if things get spicy and it doesn’t last the friendship will be ruined

[Iamthedriver20]

It can be intense and lonely

[1C****]

Sounds like you’re exploring your boundaries. Find someone else with the same boundaries.

[Th****]

Its definitely a common struggle from my experience. A well rounded person that meet all your emotional and physical needs operating with long term intentions feel like impossible to find unicorns ( not those kind lol). I think major factor is the expectation of instant gratification and lack of effort for deeper connections.
I am who I am, my sexual involvements dont define my long term intentions, I know what I want, what I don't, and won't compromise my integrity to string someone along for a temporary piece of what im looking for.

[Deleted Member]

I can understand what you’re trying to say, right now I’m being just the opposite, been hurt too many times
Just go with the flow, don’t *** it don’t push it what I’ve learned is if you do, it never works out

[fl****]

Much like in all things kink, communication is key. As tough as it may be to start or have the conversation, just be honest about what you want, and how you feel. The awkwardness and difficulty will be over quickly and it’s better than what you’re doing in your own head now

[in****]

So if we are being honest about it then what I/we see since I have no secrets from my s.o. is that you just finally found that one person our opinion is talk to them be open and honest maybe it works out or it doesn't

[HucowFarmer_DannyD]

Sounds to me like you are used to Having SexXxual relationships and blocking out any future for just being friends.Ive been thru it all..Friends are cool to have and when it leads to being friends first ,I see most of the time its just to be friends..No SexXx

[GB****]

Im sorry you feel this. It happens a lot with fwb, it starts off casual but then one person will develop the feels. If both parties went in thinking it was just say a fwb situation but now you’re wanting more, then you have to have a talk. You never know they may feel the same way. If they don’t, you have to make a big decision; either break it off completely or continue knowing the other party doesn’t feel the same. Either way it’s going to hurt, but continuing hoping things will change with the other party is a huge risk to take and usually does not end well. I truly wish you all the luck dealing with this, I’ve been there and I know how bad it hurts.