What Does ‘Experienced Dom/Daddy’ Truly Mean?

[ey****]

the ultimate thing on experience is that it can mean different things

like if someone has come out of a relaitonship of 10 years then you could say they were experienced in that dynamic... but only really with that person and this isn't *always* transferable

if someone has burned through 8 relationships in 2 years - then they may have had experience of different people - but why did so many relationships end on a 3 month average?  

the kinda question becomes with them, what made up their experience and how does this translate to what you are looking for?

[Blankslate]

Honestly I think experience is defined by the ability to create a proper scene and mood. Can they weave yours and their fetishes together so both are having fun. And understand the importance of after care. My goodness people need to learn about that.

[jo****]

Well I started in highschool. To cut a long story short, I had two Submissives. The first thing you learn is a subs body. What makes them do things, gives them pleasure, makes them comment.

Years later you learn where to spank through reading books, hands on experience and videos. The net has made buying toys so much easier.

Knowing a submissives' limits are important. That's why you need a safe word. I like to get my submissives tired after we play. They need to be able to tap out.

Trust is essential. CNC play for example takes trust. Having control over a sub is a responsibility.

There's plenty of Doms that are sadistic
I think the experienced ones that last, are able to be as vanilla and caring and sadistic all at once ...just as our sub needs. It is a two way thing

Happy playing!

[ba****]

I think it’s showing that you have a strong sensitive, caring relationship with this person in such a way that they trust that you’re not going to hurt them in any way, but bring them pleasure, ***, satisfaction, and fantasy all at once

[PL****]

8 hours ago, Joe56mama said:

If they're not listening, then they're not able to fulfill their role as a Dominant, which is fulfilling their submissive's needs, wants, desires while respecting their limits & boundaries. That's not a Dominant; that's a user/***r.

Very well said

[jo****]

Honestly in reality it is very hard to define. Social norms are different everywhere. There is a certain thing about dynamic where its defined by at least 2 people and that can be for better or worse. The reality is "experienced" can mean very different things because of that. In it's core I hope it means you know how to build a dynamic on trust and safety.

[Deleted Member]

I’ve been thinking to do a similar post myself. Your words could be mine. My experience… “experienced” doesn’t automatically mean they’re respectful or caring. The dims (disrespectful ignorant members) assume online means available to them and they objectify. It’s hard, huh. I think an experienced dom (or other roles) means they’re active and educated- there’s plenty to read, they probably had experience being in a variety of BDSM spaces - online, munches, venues, events, dynamics, play, etc. Sadly, or excitingly, we have to talk to find out what experienced means to them. Plenty of clues in the profiles if they genuine or not. All of us are different. What I think experienced is doesn’t mean that everyone feels the same. Each to their own. I also Demi and Pan, experience isnt everything, more important is how we treat each other.

[ap****]

Experienced in what exactly? Online play? Online dynamics? Sexual role play? Lifestyle? Not everyone is looking for the same thing, what you define as an experienced Dom/Daddy is your ideology, why are you even engaging in conversation about your boundaries before vetting? You affirm your own boundaries, vet, if the Dom/daddy isn't for you, tell them to take care, and that your not compatible and move on, There are people who live it and people who don't, doesn't mean they are inexperienced, you say you've lived the lifestyle 13 years, but your confused by having experiences like this on here? and don't know how to approach creating a safe space, there's a multitude of things wrong here, strangers don't have to respect a role, equally you shouldn't be respecting their role. You need to create your own safe space and decide who you let in, not relying on a man in your inbox to be offering you a safe space before knowing you. Your a human, use that to form a connection before you let anyone access your sub or little spaces.

[Ja****]

A dom takes care of your needs as a sub any way possible and listens and respects all boundaries (even when humiliating the shit outta you) and that gives us dom space and u subspace. A daddy take care of your needs (typically caters to brats) in the rest of life and typically is a true 24/7