New sub dating a switch

[Ki****]

I'm a sub dating a swtch, but I'm not very dominant. Any advice?

[Deleted Member]

Talk to your switch. Be honest and try to learn little dom things for them. Even the effort is sometimes enough.

[St****]

Communication with your partner and safely exploring your comfort zone in the area.

[Mo****]

Model for them the dom behavior you want for yourself.

[lg****]

Interested in other’s opinions on this as well as I was in a similar dynamic a few years ago.

[Da****]

My first advice to a sub leaning switch is that u can be learned as an extension of your partners needs. Communication ahead of time with questions like, "What would that look like for you?" Are really helpful.

Second piece of advice is to Role-play a scene in your own head ahead of time. See yourself taking firm control. Taking action. Think through your own expectations. Remember your partner WANTS to submit so dont spend time doubting yourself.

Finally give yourself grace to not be perfect. There will be funny awkward moments. Communicate through calmly but keep control. Dominance is a sense of assurance and clarity while your partner let's go. So just keep your head and you both will enjoy it 1000% more.

Have fun and be safe!

[Deleted Member]

As a switch myself, find out what kind of switch. What are they wanting out of being submissive? It's very possible that what they want doesn't feel to you as dominant as you think. Maybe they just need comfort, or structure. That's where I would start, at least.
From there, just think about how you'd like them to be when you're the sub.
There's the joke about the real dynamics being a freaked out dom and a sub demanding crazy things, but while hyperbole (usually), it's somewhat true that the submissive does have the majority of the real control. So let your partner communicate that.
So I guess tl;dr: communication.

[Sh****]

I’d say the situation isn’t much different from dating a new Dominant. Communication is still the foundation. Be clear about what you want and need, what you’re willing to try but hesitant about, and what you’re uncomfortable or unwilling to do.

Every relationship is different, so there isn’t a single blanket answer — If a switch is pressuring you to take a dominant role you don’t want, keep communicating that it’s something you can’t do or don’t feel comfortable doing. It’s no different than a Dominant trying to push you into a type of play you don’t want or a type or intensity of play a Dominant is not comfortable dealing out.

Boundaries are boundaries, no matter which direction the pressure is coming from boundaries must be respected.

[Ma****]

Stick to your comfort level and role. If the switch wants to be a bottom, find a Dom willing to work with both of you together!
I've dealt with several couples in exactly this scenario!

[ey****]

you don't need to be Dominant, you're a sub

don't try to do stuff you're not comfortable with

[DirtyDaddyx]

I think @Shibariartist said it very nicely.

The only thing I would add is that sometimes it’s good to stretch or be challenged but also, if you feel your so far outside of your comfort zone then you need to speak up or move on. You always have a choice.

Play safe. Stay safe.

Luke x

[Sh****]

1 hour ago, DirtyDaddyx said:

I think @Shibariartist said it very nicely.

The only thing I would add is that sometimes it’s good to stretch or be challenged but also, if you feel your so far outside of your comfort zone then you need to speak up or move on. You always have a choice.

Play safe. Stay safe.

Luke x

Yes @DirytyDaddyx is correct I did not articulate that well,

When discussing boundaries, I do mean communicating what activities you are willing to try and comfortable doing and anything you are willing to try but you may be unsure of. And to what degree on each.

[Ji****]

You need a contract for both to sign.It mostly gives peace of minding to do the right. Hmu l have bedr l things iurr

[Sq****]

My advice is to be up front with them and discuss it in depth. Expect them to lean more on the dominant aspects and guide you into what's comfortable for both of you until a system is more in place for that dynamic. Communication is key.

[Deleted Member]

Perhaps think of it as a form of service & submission... You do the things they like and your top is now happy.

See how that feels. But yea, If it doesn't feel good than just let them know.

[au****]

Don’t date a switch my god

[Om****]

Start with household chores and slowly move from there. Once you become more comfortable domming in none sexual ways it might become more natural (and the house will be clean)

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, aurorax said:

Don’t date a switch my god

Why not? We're awesome 😅

[Ka****]

Best I can think of is to brat when they're feeling submissive. 🤷

[ki****]

I like to tie them up or restrain them in a kind of way that allows me to remain in control. Then i do a bunch of teasing 😈 but really if they aren’t restrained in some way it is too easy for me to be back in a sub position. 😂

[ha****]

So I'm a switch meride to a sub ,we're in an open merige so it gives allot of wigel room .
You won't be the answer to his submisve part, my advice would be to open your relationship, that is if he seeks an answer for his submisve needs.

[Ms****]

Just learn how to play safely.

[th****]

Don’t date a switch.

[Deleted Member]

Do your identifiers have to be hard locked in every relationship to be happy and have needs meet from that specific person? Is the first question I would ask each other. Key to it all for a blanket answer is. Communication sit down really figure out wants and needs from each other and what each other are willing to do not do or try understanding it's a dynamic flow of it's a new exploration for both or one of you. If you find you need to be less in with outside of the relationship sources to meet needs then determine if you can and or still want the relationship status. Of you or them can provide certain fulfillments outside your norm or "identifiers'" and are comfortable trying that do so. But if what you identify with and holding that to a T, is more important and you know that have that conversation too.

[Ba****]

Well you could try to find a dom to add to your dynamic
It‘s not cheating if everyone knows and consents