How Do You Hold Space Without Losing Yourself?

[MD****]

An Open Letter to Anyone Loving Someone They Can’t Be With

There’s a very particular kind of grief that doesn’t get talked about enough, the grief of caring for someone you can’t be with, someone you still want to protect,
someone whose softness woke up parts of you that rarely see light, but whose instability, trauma, or life circumstances make a relationship impossible.

It’s the grief of loving someone gently while accepting that loving them fully would break you both.

It’s not a breakup.
It’s not unrequited love.
It’s not anger or betrayal.
It’s something quieter, heavier, stranger.

It’s grieving the connection but not the person. Grieving the potential but not the reality. Grieving what you saw in them, without asking for anything back. And it hurts in a way that’s hard to name.

How do you cope with loss that you create by having boundaries, when you leave you heart on the other side of the fence? And you still walk parallel with them but can't be together 💔

[Br****]

This kind of situation is so harsh. I'm going through this exact situation and, as you said it's something different, because it's not the lack of love or respect or any of that, so sometimes it seems stupid not being together. The way that I try to cope with that it's by thinking that together we aren't fulfilling ours full capabilities, and I don't want to deny and be denied this. I want to see this person shining and thriving. If that means that we can't be together right now, so be it. I rather see them being successful, happy and whole alone, then miserable and incomplete with me. My hope is that in the future, when we are more established and with our lives on rails we can be together again, but this time do add to each others life.