How we communicate matters

[wb****]

Let’s say you are the type of person who communicates best when talking. However the person you are taking the time to get to know communicates better through writing.

How would you go about meeting in the middle?

I personally am a write it down and read it to you or hand it over and let them read it; here I wanted to tell you this.

Do you, as the speaking communicator, read it and then delve head first into a conversation ignoring how the other person communicates?

Or

As the written out communicator how do you handle life with a talkative partner.

[oc****]

You try to find a middle ground. You should find both of you compromising and making each other happy because it should be both of you trying to figure out the problem, not one sacrificing for the other

[Ev****]

I personally find it easier to write things down and as I’m currently looking for someone who communicates with me my last partner was alot better at talking so he would talk to me and then I have issues processing things so he’d give me time to process and then ask me if I wanted to talk about it and so as he was talking I would make notes in my phone and then read him my thoughts and it worked great for us personally

[PL****]

I had this professor in college, who during a psychology class, was giv8ng a lecture on healthy communication styles within relationships. She gave the best advice I've ever heard and I think it can apply to both communication styles here. So I'm going to share. Every day when you and your partner come home from work talk with your partner and find out decide who goes first. If one partner had a bad day let them go first. Here is where the healthy communication comes in...
1. Set a timer for 20 minutes. During this 20 minutes the partner that is communicating first talks about their day, what was good what was bad, and if they are having any issues within the partnership. The partner that is listening does not speak unless asked to respond.
2. When the timer ends. The partner that is speaking puts anything left to be said on a shelf. And any negative emotions with it.
3. It is now the opposite partners turn to voice anything and everything During their 20 minutes. Again the partner listening does not respond unless asked to. Then everything from the speaker is once again put on the shelf.
4. We do not dwell with what is on the shelf. We do not bring it up randomly.
5. Choose another time to talk that is minimum a few hrs so both parties can process and then do a check in. If both parties need to continue the conversation, then timers start again.
6. In between talking times both partners should be doing things they find positive to help their relationship grow, even if negative feelings still leak, because remember we can hurt our partners with actions just as loud if not more then expressing words.

I used this during my last LTR and in 17 years we had 4 major fights and honestly they were my fault because I allowed my anger to take over. But in 17 years there were only 4 total. Just sayin...lol!

[Widowkj]

For those that like to talk they could use a talk to text app.

[Au****]

That is such a great, honest question. It's common for people to have different communication strengths, it's just a matter of finding a system that respects both people.

Since you know you communicate better in writing, I do too, the key is to use that strength to support the conversation. For example, if your partner wants to talk about something important, you could say, 'That's important, but I need a few minutes to jot down my thoughts so I can talk about it clearly.' Use your written notes as an outline in the conversation, helps you stay focused and reduces anxiety because you know you won't forget your main points.

And for your partner who loves to talk, you can ask them to help you. You could say, 'That was a lot of information, could you send me a quick text with the three main things you want me to focus on?' This lets them talk it out, and it gives you the clear, written format you need to process and respond effectively later. It's about combining both styles so nobody feels ignored or overwhelmed. These are just my ideas.

[Pl****]

Use voice chat, so the can hear it for tone, and see it transcribed

[Lo****]

My bf is the writing one, has issues opening up. So I bought him a diary, he reflects on his day, his desires and my leadership every evening and he reads it out to me ritually once a week😊
He says, it’s very helpful not having to talk about it, so there’s no pressure.
I personally recognize his progress every day cause he’s talking more about his needs when asked. I’m so proud 😊

[Ro****]

I'm hearing impaired. Seeing it written out or through any kinds of visuals helps greatly. I like it when a person has the ability to understand that need. Someone who shows impatience at the start, I find eventually becomes dismissive. I will not tolerate and will be willing to walk away as it's obvious at that point it will not work. I'm no longer investing time in those who don't value my presence or communication needs from the start and can stay consistent. I can find plenty who do.

[JackJonesHull]

In my mind it is important to learn each others preferences and find a comfortable middle ground.
I find that either options are open to misunderstanding, writing less so perhaps, so a combination of both spoken and written is required anyway.

[Ba****]

I would say having a verbal conversation at the pace of a written conversation is a good compromise for face to face situation
You know, actually letting people think about how they want to formulate the response instead of obviously waiting for the immediate response that seems to be expected of a flowing verbal conversation

[Ki****]

You can still write it down, then you read it to them! Hand it to them after reading.