USER_0121 Posted 8 hours ago Hi everyone, I’m new here on fetish.com and still very much in observation mode 👋 While browsing profiles, groups, and discussions, I’ve noticed that certain kinks and fetishes seem to pop up a lot more than others almost like trends. So I got curious and wanted to open a discussion: • Which kinks or fetishes do you feel are most “in vogue” right now? • Do you think these are just temporary trends, or reflections of deeper social or psychological changes? • How much influence do you think social media, porn, or online communities have had on how people discover and express their kinks? • Are there any dynamics, aesthetics, or mental aspects you’re seeing more often that still surprise you? I’m not only thinking about the well-known classics, but also subtle dynamics, mindsets, or newer expressions that seem to be gaining visibility. I’d really enjoy hearing different perspectives from long-time members as well as other newcomers like me. Looking forward to reading your thoughts 👀
bl**** Posted 7 hours ago New to this myself and was wondering the same, not sure what the rules are or etiquette is
az**** Posted 7 hours ago Personally I belive that they've always been here we are just in a time when sex and fantasy ect are less taboo and not looked upon strangely so people are more free to enjoy themselves however they deem :) the only thing I belive (there's no evidence to this so I don't mean to offend just my opinion) is I find kinks especially the more deprived ones are usually trauma based/bonded to people :)
lb**** Posted 6 hours ago This is a great post! I’ve also noticed the same and I do think the online porn world as well as what is hot right now on social media has a lot to do with it. Which is another reason of why it’s very difficult to find a good and real dom match. Too many people hiding behind a costume that isn’t truly them and a lot that want one thing and then leave….
To**** Posted 6 hours ago If we add popular culture into the mix, it becomes even clearer where things start to blur. Mainstream culture has a habit of flattening complexity. Kink gets turned into an aesthetic, a shortcut to identity, or a form of social currency. Labels become costumes. Dynamics become content. What’s lost in that process is the slow, often unglamorous work that actually makes power exchange meaningful: self-awareness, emotional regulation, and accountability. The problem isn’t visibility…it’s imitation without integration. People copy what looks powerful without understanding why it works or who it’s for. That’s how we end up with performative dominance and submissives who feel like they’re “failing” because their nervous system doesn’t respond the way a reel or fantasy promised it would. The healthier method, in my experience, runs in the opposite direction: • Start with internal clarity, not roles. Know what calms you, what excites you, what overwhelms you. • Build dynamics through communication and repetition, not intensity. • Let power emerge from consistency and trust, not novelty or shock. • Treat consent as a living process, not a one time agreement. For submissive women especially, sustainable dynamics often come from feeling emotionally held before being physically directed. When the mind feels safe, the body follows …not the other way around. Popular culture will always sell the loudest version. Real dynamics are usually quieter, deeper, and far more erotic over time. The method that lasts isn’t trendy …it’s intentional Take inspiration, but don’t copy the script. Let your dynamic grow from self-awareness first, then evolve through honest dialogue with your partner. What lasts isn’t borrowed from culture or trends...it’s co-created, intentional, and deeply personal…
PL**** Posted 5 hours ago 46 minutes ago, TomWhttt said: If we add popular culture into the mix, it becomes even clearer where things start to blur. Mainstream culture has a habit of flattening complexity. Kink gets turned into an aesthetic, a shortcut to identity, or a form of social currency. Labels become costumes. Dynamics become content. What’s lost in that process is the slow, often unglamorous work that actually makes power exchange meaningful: self-awareness, emotional regulation, and accountability. The problem isn’t visibility…it’s imitation without integration. People copy what looks powerful without understanding why it works or who it’s for. That’s how we end up with performative dominance and submissives who feel like they’re “failing” because their nervous system doesn’t respond the way a reel or fantasy promised it would. The healthier method, in my experience, runs in the opposite direction: • Start with internal clarity, not roles. Know what calms you, what excites you, what overwhelms you. • Build dynamics through communication and repetition, not intensity. • Let power emerge from consistency and trust, not novelty or shock. • Treat consent as a living process, not a one time agreement. For submissive women especially, sustainable dynamics often come from feeling emotionally held before being physically directed. When the mind feels safe, the body follows …not the other way around. Popular culture will always sell the loudest version. Real dynamics are usually quieter, deeper, and far more erotic over time. The method that lasts isn’t trendy …it’s intentional Take inspiration, but don’t copy the script. Let your dynamic grow from self-awareness first, then evolve through honest dialogue with your partner. What lasts isn’t borrowed from culture or trends...it’s co-created, intentional, and deeply personal… You hit the nail on the head. As someone in the lifestyle for a very long time and who has both experienced the good and the bad this is how you do it right! It is very much about being intentional. But intentionality is not only for those in the lifestyle. It should be in any healthy relationship/dynamic. I mean its clearly stated on my profile that a contract is a necessity, however, a contract is an initial agreement to begin the relationship/dynamic. A contract is something that can be renegotiated as the relationship grows and changes, and I communicate this to my potential partners right from the start. As far as trends, I think as the community grows and people become more comfortable talking about kinks, dynamics, etc. then more people feel comfortable to express more. I know myself even with the length of time I've been in it, I personally still have difficulty discussing some of my kinks or my needs, or my likes. However, there are still parts of me I only share with those I fully trust so some things take time to divulge. I will always eventually share all my kinks with a partner, but they have to be a partner to hear those deep dark secrets.
si**** Posted 5 hours ago Hi, good questions! Personal opinion here - I think theres a lot of new people getting involved in bdsm/kink for two reasons 1) They feel they can dip their toes in it now that there isn’t as much judgement. 2) Porn definitely advertises it and normalizes it more. 3) Only fans with “***”. I don’t think bdsm/kink as a whole has been a trend, however it has been used in a way for people to benefit from it, financially and for other reasons like cosplay. A lot of people involved don’t educate themselves and then try to practice their newly found “kinks” tend to not respect the foundation of the dynamic - discussion of kinks, needs, consent, limits, respect, aftercare, it’s pretty messed up. I also notice “as a brat sub” that most Doms just want instant access and submission without actually getting to know, talk about kinks, limits, safe words, consent, aftercare. And some so called Doms are boring, same personalities just copies after copies, theres no lead up, no mental stimulation, it’s at the point for me where it’s just so repetitive. A lot of people just want kink dispenser.
ey**** Posted 4 hours ago So can kinks trend - in short, yes. Kinda think of it as... I dunno. You might like what you know and then someone suggests something and you're somewhere between "ooh, that sounds hot" or, at least, curious From a Porn perspective... according to clips4sale stats, the most searched/bought keyword was "Gooning" in 2025. But other common searches were Giantess, Ballbusting, Tease and Denial, Tickling, Wrestling, Handjob -- though other sites banning wrestling will of course take more buyers there to search I think people just get curious especially when opened to more than the whole "traditional" ideas. But, it's often interesting that there's folk who only did some things because they thought they had to, or it was all they knew.
ra**** Posted 2 hours ago This is just a personal opinion. This kink bullshit is like being an actor or actress in a movie. It's extra. It's fake. It's like comic con or Halloween all year round. Everyone is mostly an asshole or a cunt here. As if regular dating apps weren't hard enough to please these women, now you're on one that adds a bunch of extra fairytale, dungeons and dragons bullshit. Society is fucked
wo**** Posted 2 hours ago I don’t think that people consider it a kink, but throat fucking seems to have become so commonplace that it’s part of the standard blowjob now. Porn has become part of social media. Lot’s of young people talk with each other about porn/sex activity, even those just meeting online for the first time. They reference it almost as casually as they talk about the time or weather. I go on a different platform with lots of young people. I see lots of 18-20 year olds stating they are dom or sub, sometimes someone ‘decides to try dom’. Some roll out a long list of the kinks they are into. They are all so straight forward and surprisingly confident that they have all these kinks and domming all figured out. It all seems so silly to me.
ra**** Posted 2 hours ago 21 minutes ago, rawdawgsamuraiArrf said: This is just a personal opinion. This kink bullshit is like being an actor or actress in a movie. It's extra. It's fake. It's like comic con or Halloween all year round. Everyone is mostly an asshole or a cunt here. As if regular dating apps weren't hard enough to please these women, now you're on one that adds a bunch of extra fairytale, dungeons and dragons bullshit. Society is fucked I find your blunt honesty quite refreshing and your take on society is something I can’t disagree with 😂 As someone who is admittedly late to joining the party, the one thing I appreciate is being older and having life experiences that taught me some valuable lessons about people and relationships in general. I don’t take anything away from people who have been involved in the lifestyle far longer than most, but overall it seems like the increased interest and popularity of the community is a result of how society has basically become one where people want the benefits of being physically satisfied without having to invest the time, energy or effort into making it anything meaningful. Society is full of people with overinflated senses of entitlement and little to no concept of respect for others or accountability for themselves. All the bells and whistles that are associated with certain kinks are exactly what you said…they’re extra and if you lack the self awareness to understand why you want to experience certain things, you are bound to put yourself in a position where you are sacrificing your self respect for momentary gratification. It’s hard enough to find genuine people anywhere, and when you skip over or rush through the process of getting to actually know someone, you are basically just setting yourself up to feel used or disappointed. Hard to believe there are many people out there who are capable of being in a healthy relationship, but entering into an unhealthy dynamic with someone who doesn’t value the mutual trust and respect that form the foundation required is a recipe for disaster.
om**** Posted 2 hours ago Sure. It is a new generation coming into the clubs, a new understanding what it is all about. When I compare a visit 30y ago with a visit today and see the new generation playing I feel me old, sometimes useless. Women have an expectation what a man can do, what 30y ago no one did. It feels a sliving in a trash culture, where respect is gone and communication is reduced to a single word 'stop'.
ey**** Posted 2 hours ago I think there is a good point in the sense of younger people being more exposed to porn has meant that some stuff they think is a common part of sex (throat fucking, choking, etc) rather than something not everyone is into (or that does need somewhat care) it is just a cycle of old problems that sometimes people do things because they feel they have to.
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