Does anyone like brat taming anymore?

[bi****]

Brat taming is a lot of fun and it is very rewarding…. But, it does require being in a particular mindset where you can deal with misbehaviour and disobedience. If the man is burnt out and not feeling fully confident in himself, then he isn’t going to be very effective

[BlondageDoll]

1 hour ago, VirginiaGuy77 said:

That's because they were A brat-tamer, not YOUR brat=-amer. acting this way with literally anybody except your partner, whether it's husband, wife, scene partner etc) is just poor behavior as an adult. As somebody else said, some people take this as just how they are supposed to act all the time, and that's perfectly fine, but it generally won't get you the results you're after.

Yes, exactly this. I was doing it wrong, exposing people to my bratting who had not consented to experience that. Fortunately with the guidance of more experienced kinksters I learned that calling myself a brat is not a free pass for being rude to people. Save it for the bedroom folks. Or if you're going to do it at an event make sure it's only your consenting partner who is on the receiving end.

[Ho****]

1 hour ago, HornyCrofter said:

It sounds like you’re doing this through text rather than face to face - the tricky thing with that is context - it’s nigh on impossible to guarantee correct interpretation through a text - so maybe more emotes or a picture of you making a face to correspond your meaning? That might help

This comment is also helpful and brings up a point.

If you send me a picture of you making some flirting face, or lets make up a hypothetical.

* Scene we met online were texting in PM *
Me "you look beautiful today."

Her "thank you, I appreciate that."

Her "so I'm gonna brat a bit."

Me "go for it"

Her "yeah I bet you think I look good, like every other f*ckboy on here."

Me "oh I'm a f*ck boy now? That's naughty, what if I think you need an attitude adjustment? Maybe a spank for being so mouthy."

Her "oh yeah I'd like to see you try!!"
Her *sends a picture with cleavage and a taunting face, but not angry or mean.. like obviously she's playing*

Me *begins roleplay session talking about paddles, whips, rope work, etc to teach this naughty girl to be nice.*

Just basic interaction like that.

[Su****]

If you start some shit with me trying to be flirtatious you better make it clear. You don't have to tell me and ruin the fun but we as men are tired of women thinking they can treat us anyway they want.

[Ho****]

1 hour ago, Kaserai said:

*enf0rc3 a consequence
*create p@!n

I'm all for enf*rcing rules through non s*xual means, but it depends on the individuals involved. Personally I like punishment to be something that is in their list of okay plays but not wants, and rewards are on the top of the wants list.

Like say she knows I'm upset about something and wants option A, she can get option A by asking for it... Or she can get C and B first by being mean and mouthy, eventually leading to option A or you know.

Option D..

😂 Couldn't help but make that joke, sorry.

But yeah I mean maybe she wants to have rope work done, but she needs a hard spank with a whip first because she's being sassy about something.

It all boils down to consent.

If she says "take your anger out on me" and proceeds to tease and brat, and is okay with whips, and ropes, etc...

Oh we are about to have some fun, because I'm about to get to flogging, and spanking, clamps, maybe grab that tongue a little and look her in the eyes with the clear message to watch how she talks to me or the punishments will be more severe.

Dammit I fell into a kink hole I forgot what I was talking about.

[Su****]

You'll do great with the communication you've shown here

[Ho****]

1 hour ago, Cutthroatcat said:

It's a them issue and not you, you don't need to change a single thing about yourself. Continue to defy, the right one will know what to do with you.

This comment comes from a very.... Uninformed position let's say, to avoid being rude.

I personally would advise ignoring it and listening to the many others telling you that Dom/sub is an agreed upon thing where you have to show the person you are just as nice and to be trusted as you are interested in them.

As a person who will sub and Dom for his partner, I can say that rude right off the rip is gonna get you blocked, and if anyone immediately goes sexual when you are being a brat and you don't know them, it's probably not going to be a healthy situation for either of you.

[Cu****]

Uninformed? More like not making an attempt to *** a dynamic.

[Cu****]

Oops I used a blacklist word, I was coming from a position where I was telling OP to not push a dynamic.

[de****]

This has been informative. I agree, be a brat after you started an interacton. As a friend of mine Whos also a brat said, kink is not for everyone so Yea. Ormañly her cue starts with a yessir or make me. The one that always gets me is one word smartass responses. Also, emojis go a long ways with adding context, like 🙄 duh

[Ka****]

2 hours ago, Cutthroatcat said:

I wanted to say this in so many words, part of the reason why I just made a new account after so many years was to get away from that kind of online behavior. A true Dom has to have a sense of awareness, understanding, and discipline within themselves before they can even begin to understand how to dole it out. Nowadays they're scrolling Reddit, combing their hair, and calling themselves DomDaddies or whatever the term they've chosen this fiscal quarter is.

Aye, as well as a lot of brats using being a brat to authorise being a$$holes, a lot of doms seem to do the same! They use being a self proclaimed dom to be a s*x pest and downright disrespectful. Id call myself a brat but Im not rude and dont aim to anger, Im cheeky and playful and only engage when its either discussed or I have a feel of that person and their skill. One of my rope tops is a competent rigger and Im an amusement all the time, but I know when he's learning a new tie to behave. Another rope top I have is super nervous when in public so I dont act out at all. It's important to understand the person before playing the part. That said, im somewhat of a natural brat so even in vanilla world its very 'make me' if someone poses me a challenge or if someone's on their phone when Ive carved out time to see them, I'll pinch it!

[AKA_Copper]

I'm not sure what you mean by "rude" particularly as it's in quote marks.
I dont equate brat with rudeness.
Whilst the men you speak of may not have been up to it, its also on you, particularly given your last question within the OP.
You need to understand why you brat, what your needs are and your preference as to how they're met. You also need to communicate that, no one can read minds. Equally, reading the room is important, just because it's been communicated/agreed doesn't mean that there arent other parameters in which we do it.

[Ka****]

1 hour ago, HoneyBadgr said:

I'm all for enf*rcing rules through non s*xual means, but it depends on the individuals involved. Personally I like punishment to be something that is in their list of okay plays but not wants, and rewards are on the top of the wants list.

Like say she knows I'm upset about something and wants option A, she can get option A by asking for it... Or she can get C and B first by being mean and mouthy, eventually leading to option A or you know.

Option D..

😂 Couldn't help but make that joke, sorry.

But yeah I mean maybe she wants to have rope work done, but she needs a hard spank with a whip first because she's being sassy about something.

It all boils down to consent.

If she says "take your anger out on me" and proceeds to tease and brat, and is okay with whips, and ropes, etc...

Oh we are about to have some fun, because I'm about to get to flogging, and spanking, clamps, maybe grab that tongue a little and look her in the eyes with the clear message to watch how she talks to me or the punishments will be more severe.

Dammit I fell into a kink hole I forgot what I was talking about.

Im not s3xu4l with any of my tops and we are usually in workshops or labs, many of which dont allow s3xu4l play anyways but all of what you said is fine if agreed but its a dangerous line for men folks particularly to walk cause if she starts bratting and he comes out with that shes probably going to feel some type of negative way which is why its so important to remember noone is a kink dispenser, get to know the human first :)

[Honeybee-3663]

My opinion is, be a leader. Be accountable, reasure, show care, be sincere, and don't be afraid to discipline when necessary, and all of that needs to be done consistently outside of sexual involvement. Sexual things may not always be an option, so the brat needs to know that you're not there only when sexual things are involved and you're care is deeper than the physical. It's psychological and emotional care and support that outweigh the physical.

[Ha****]

I don't think so at all. If your being a brat it should be clear to them, it sounds like they can't be asked which is a shame because it's so much fun.

[br****]

Personally, I don’t have experience on brat taming but if it’s known that’s your personality they shouldn’t take offense.

[sc****]

Unfortunately the world we live in has blurred the lines. So much for our community that it's hard for men to brat tame or be dominant.
When it's seen as being dominant in the culture we live in, that is toxic masculinity.
Our community is being slowly pushed out by toxic femininity.
And our community is understood, there is a difference, but the world we live in doesn't allow us to be who we are. I think that's a problem.
And I agree that it needs to be more shown more emphasized that this is our community. This is our lives. This is who we are, but out in public. It's hard to be who we are without being seen as toxic one way or the other. As a dominant man, I see this and I mourn for our community. I mourn for our society. I hope that our community can come together and push back and show more that this type of lifestyle is not toxic. It is humanity. It is healthy and it is how we grow. It is how we come back together as men and women to build healthy relationships.