Body image

[mr****]

1 hour ago, coffeewithcream said:

I completely understand where you're coming from. And honestly no matter how many people say otherwise, you feel self conscious. It sucks! The thing is though, it's all in your head. An no matter what you'll beclme 100x sexier when start to look at yourself with the confidence you deserve. You are the only one that can change your perspective. I understand, I've been there, and it's a dark path that feels never ending. But I promise, the end is coming. One day you'll look in the mirror and see the beauty there and smile.

well said

[Sir_Trini]

You have to believe in yourself before you can find someone that accepts you. While exercise, diet, and beauty treatments might aid in your physical appearance, the mind will always find ‘flaws’. Learning to accept these conceived ‘flaws’ is the best start. There are those who will appreciate body the way it is and see past the outer shell and into your inner beauty, always remember that.

[AJ****]

Me too.... weird how things do effect your sex life , and sometimes your esteem!

[Deleted Member]

It’s never too late… lack of confidence can ruin a lot. Find someone that understands this, remember: lots of men enjoy this type of body.

[Sa****]

First of all, I'm looking at you, and you are beautiful. Take baby steps, try walking around your yard or around your neighborhood for exercise, if you feel comfortable. I am also curvy, and I am learning to love my body. Treat yourself, buy some sexy lingerie or new boots, you will be needing them. You are a woman, a mother, a powerhouse. You are beautiful.

[ja****]

Well men have to be attracted to their partners. Just like women have to be attracted to their partners. But as a society we tell men that they have to expand what they consider attractive. If you value your man and you want him to find you attractive then you sometimes have to work hard and do something about your body.

[me****]

Look different people are attracted to all kind of folks. I am a retired healthcare provider and what I can tell you is if you take care of yourself, you will feel better mentally and physically. I used to be 270 lbs and I started taking care of me for me. Walking daily, taking stairs instead of elevators, eating and drinking better all help. P.S. sex gets whole lot better too. Being healthy is important to you, your child and any man you want to have a long healhty relationship with. Take care of you first. The rest will follow

[Bo****]

I am paralyzed and it is difficult dealing with all that.

[fe****]

Attraction goes much deeper than looks. And what has ALWAYS been my opinion is natural is beautiful way beyond any other. I can’t see your hidden pics but I’m sure any real man thinks the way I do, and will be lucky to see touch feel your body. Relax. Superficial f#%ktards don’t impact ur world enough to matter

[Ba****]

The good one won't care what you look like, the smart ones will find all of you attractive. Wabi-sabi is what makes us human.

[Deleted Member]

I have similar thoughts as you. It’s difficult to navigate. Hang in there. You will find confidence.

[Jo****]

First, its not ever too late. Second. Find someone who supports you and likes or loves you as you are, which will give you more inspiration and make you want to do it for yourself and for them. It's not about looks anyway, it's about personality. Don't *** yourself. It can cause self resentment. You dont want that. It can cause adverse effects or cause you to make dangerous decisions for yourself. Make certain that when you're ready to do it. You do it because you've found the drive to do it. Look for more positivity in your life. Not these dudes just looking for a place to drop one. Look for the ones or let them find you, that see you as you are now. Want that and want to embrace you in it. Support you in what you want and maybe even want to work with you in your goals. I haven't really looked but im certain that youre just fine by your description. Sounded pretty good actually. The only bad portion is you dissing yourself. Your picture looks good. You seem quite attractive. I dont know you but I know that you look like someone who should have the self confidence needed to grow as you'd wish. Not hitting on you or anything but you seem beautiful from the avatar shown and someone I would approach to see what could be. So please, keep your head up and shine, you deserve it. Thats also how you will get past this. All the negative stuff shown as the eyes of beauty and perfection are wrong. They dont apply to everyone and further, also make people feel bad about the most minor things because of the concept of stereotypical beauty. Most who claim these levels of beauty are usually not and further are ugly inside, which matters most. When the beauty fades, the personality is what youre left with. So be beautiful inside and out. Don't let the insecurities of others impact you or your confidence. Youre perfectly fine. Hope this helps.

[Mr****]

It doesn’t hurt having a partner that understands your struggles. Either both feeling the same way, it could make each other motivate the other.

[Sl****]

I wonder if words can help regarding body positivity. What matters to me is confidence. I’ve been following some of the most alluring women here and have seen some of the most captivating images of members on FET.
I also see professional content creators who work on personal perfection but my preference remains here. @TheGreatLoveBug, @luvhandles, @CurvyCrimsonKittenand @dreamybrunette are just several members who are adorable, wise, creative, assertive and far more qualities than my 2am brain can express. I love how they’re down to earth.
I don’t objectify anyone here. I’m captivated by the bravery and expressiveness. Years ago people got judged by what’s now being normalized and I say God bless it. It used to be a badge of shame to be exhibitionist. Sometimes it feels like a competition.
Forget my screen name which reveals my personal preference but the women nonbinary and trans of all ethnicities ages and builds are incredible and I’m in awe of them as well as you.

[dz****]

We're all a little self conscious, but there's allot of men attracted to a woman like you, including myself. Women don't realize how not so shallow men are, it's other women that judge way more than we do, just be yourself and have fun, don't get attached unless you see true consistency bec getting attached too soon can hurt in a situation where you hookup with soneone and THEY decide its just a 1 night stand lol it's happened to me plenty of times

[Gentlemandom47]

What you’re describing is far more common than people admit, especially for women who have lived real lives in real bodies.

 

A few important things to say clearly first: you are not broken, you are not “too late”, and this is not a moral failing or a lack of willpower. It’s a loop — and loops can be interrupted.

 

What often happens is this:

You don’t feel comfortable in your body → intimacy becomes stressful instead of relaxing → you avoid situations that might trigger those feelings → isolation creeps in → motivation drops → the body changes further → the *** grows.

 

None of that is because you’re weak. It’s because your nervous system is trying to protect you from feeling exposed or judged.

 

A couple of gentle but practical points that may help:

1. This isn’t really about weight.

People often fixate on numbers because they feel concrete, but the issue you describe existed at 150 as well. That tells us the problem isn’t your body — it’s the story your mind tells you about your body when someone sees it.

2. Relaxation comes before desire, not after.

Trying to “push through” discomfort with alcohol or pressure usually backfires, as you’ve noticed. Feeling safe, unobserved, and accepted is what allows arousal and curiosity to return. Without that, sex becomes performance rather than connection.

3. You don’t need to start with partners.

Start with reclaiming comfort privately and gradually. That might mean:

– spending time topless alone without mirrors

– touching your body without a sexual goal

– noticing sensations without judgement

This isn’t about forcing confidence — it’s about rebuilding familiarity.

4. The right partner does not require a “finished” version of you.

The idea that you must fix yourself before being wanted is a cruel myth. Many people find their confidence grows inside a dynamic where they feel desired as they are, not after some future milestone.

5. You are allowed to want slowness, reassurance, and patience.

Anyone who makes you feel rushed, scrutinised, or evaluated is simply not right for where you are now — and that’s okay. Filtering is not failure.

6. It is not too late.

At 44, your capacity for intimacy, pleasure, and connection has not expired. If anything, many people find deeper, more meaningful experiences later in life because they finally know what they need.

 

If there’s one thing to take away: be kinder to the version of you that learned to hide to cope. She wasn’t wrong — she was surviving. Now you get to teach her that being seen doesn’t have to hurt.

 

You don’t have to solve everything at once. One small step toward comfort is enough to begin.

[Ga****]

This might sound like a tired reply or something you may have heard before, but perhaps therapy?
Im going to therapy, and it's helping me in several ways. Finding solutions for my everyday problems, helping me figure out and set goals, that sort of thing.
Its probably healthy in general to do, and might help you c:

A personal sidenote: i think stretch marks are super sexy <3

[Do****]

11 hours ago, TempeNeighborhoodMan said:

I would suggest visiting a nudist beach or resort. It's not sexual, but you'll quickly see that people of all shapes and sizes can be confident and relaxed in their skin, and that confidence is beautiful.

This is a fabulous idea

[Vi****]

Eat real fruits and vegetables and only Greek yogurt. You will lose fat quickly. Also only EVOO. Sugar and wheat and processing affect your brain too. Feel better by eating better first. Love and luck! #Ilost140

[Sl****]

5 hours ago, Gatadata said:

This might sound like a tired reply or something you may have heard before, but perhaps therapy?
Im going to therapy, and it's helping me in several ways. Finding solutions for my everyday problems, helping me figure out and set goals, that sort of thing.
Its probably healthy in general to do, and might help you c:

A personal sidenote: i think stretch marks are super sexy <3

This bears amplification. And other comments here are truly poignant as well but I hope that all endorse therapy as a way of learning to grasp positivity on our life’s journey. Far too many strangers (and a number of far-too-close relatives, partners and family) can say and practice things that become emotionally traumatizing.

[sp****]

We all have things about ourselves that we fixate on and want to change. Sometimes you can’t change them or it’s extremely hard to.

[Ba****]

Not sure if it helps but your stretch marks are basically proof of fertility which in the eyes of quite a few men make you more attractive
I’m a dude with stretch marks on my inner thighs and armpits from growing to fast as a kid so for me there is no „well technically“ that could help there
And if it still bothers you to much remember there is a whole dedicated branch of plastic surgery AND tattoo artistry both specialized in dealing with unwanted scars

[Lo****]

Embrass it mate

[ka****]

Therapy helps. And tall women usually carry a little more weight. Recommit to yourself and your health. You will get through.

[Da****]

I find women with stretch marks more attractive. Plus being a mom? Is one of the greatest accomplishments in life. The fact that you can do those things is great! Dont be ashamed of who you are or what you look like in the mirror, I get passed by alot of women because im only 5ft 7, and 155lbs. The truth is a stretch mark can tell a story, and is a part of your journey through motherhood and is one of the biggest turn on's for some of us guys. If you decide you want to try the gym, I go daily and would be willing to help you focus on areas of concern and keep you motivated. There is no true way to get over it until you are happy with who you are on the inside & out.