Dominant men who want to submit

[ey****]

5 hours ago, SapphireNight said:

Can a male Dominant truly let go & let her be in complete control ???

this is the big question

like, years ago there was a lot of discourse about switches, which still sometimes lingers. A lot of the Dommes who disliked switch men said the problems they had were (a) they felt they were being judged more than with those who were only subs (b) that the guy often tried to wrestle control, even though that's not what she signed up for (c) it was often felt that the guy couldn't be truly happy since he could only ever have one side of play from her (d) there was often hesitation for the man to let go because he wasn't as embraced into it

the general other issue is that when some of the Domme ladies at the time would raise this, some would just being "well a good Domme would make him submit" kinda thing, which was very gaslight-y but also had the issue that instead of permitting her to Dominate, instead of elevating her, it was presented as work - a challenge to solve, so on. 

Now. I aint saying this is true in all cases.  Of course not. But it was a common frustration that was talked about a lot at the time.  I think this is something where... I guess like anything the question for the Domme would be, is this someone I'd like to try something with? Or is the person just after anything they can get, even if it's wrong for them?

[579slave]

Honestly I have seen this alot in the comment section and I feel like they're just trying to flip the script, and make it about them, and about trying to control the relationship/dynamic. Whether to try to dominate a woman who says "no dominate men or i do not consent to being dominated" in their bio to just try to prove that your not really a dominate woman. Which to me is really disgusting because if im not mistaken isnt that a form of mental ***?

[Mi****]

I ignore them because of my safety. You dont know when they are going to snap back.
Some if them doing that if they get cougt on this app they can easily talk themself out of the situation.

[cl****]

December 29, 2025, eyemblacksheep said:

this is the big question

like, years ago there was a lot of discourse about switches, which still sometimes lingers. A lot of the Dommes who disliked switch men said the problems they had were (a) they felt they were being judged more than with those who were only subs (b) that the guy often tried to wrestle control, even though that's not what she signed up for (c) it was often felt that the guy couldn't be truly happy since he could only ever have one side of play from her (d) there was often hesitation for the man to let go because he wasn't as embraced into it

the general other issue is that when some of the Domme ladies at the time would raise this, some would just being "well a good Domme would make him submit" kinda thing, which was very gaslight-y but also had the issue that instead of permitting her to Dominate, instead of elevating her, it was presented as work - a challenge to solve, so on. 

Now. I aint saying this is true in all cases.  Of course not. But it was a common frustration that was talked about a lot at the time.  I think this is something where... I guess like anything the question for the Domme would be, is this someone I'd like to try something with? Or is the person just after anything they can get, even if it's wrong for them?

This is interesting. I used to consider exploring with switches but over time realise they dominate from the bottom. Subs do this as well, in other passive ways though tbh

[cl****]

I'm personally not interest in forcing domination on anyone or having that power play around identity. Its work on my side also

[Deleted Member]

December 29, 2025, psybermamii said:

understandable, but we aren’t food for their void. they can go to therapy prior to dragging us through their shame and ***. they are starved for engagement because often their messaging style and communication sucks. zero questions of curiosity other than that around my body, usually. also, just quietly, what you are communicating here is basically just an illustration of exactly why @liliththedivine comment actually holds a lot of weight. they are outsourcing their power via their scarcity mindset, *** and lack of self accountability. not sure that screams dominance to me 😉abandoning one’s own boundaries is also not an act of dominant energy. these men don’t need more understanding from any of us. they need to pay a therapist rather than looking for a surface level escape to their *** usually constructed via inflicting it on another ‘consensually’ aka towards a femme sub with all the exact same ***s and anxieties that the dom should be holding informed and with care. which can only be done through their own personal work on themselves. sorry but i can’t jump on board this as a reasonable defence.

I agree, further, it's a fundamental issue, at some point spamming works and too many restrictions cost the platform subscribers, so both sides pay in one way or another.
Also, for anyone that wants to know what it's like for the otheside, just change your status and go ahead and see how quickly you decide that unwanted attention is not better (just different) than no attention. Or better yet instead of being jealous of people receiving interest, offer that what is interesting.

[ey****]

There's a couple of things I'll lean into

5 hours ago, MDQC said:

at some point spamming works

Yes, but rarely.    And there's a lot of people who will say they've been trying for weeks, months, years - and their approach isn't working. I guess when they talk about "lucky" some people who hit right with spamming maybe are, they sent a message at the right time - or so on.

If it ultimately worked we wouldn't have so many unhappy men because they'd all eventually crack the code with their repetitive low effort approach.

5 hours ago, MDQC said:

see how quickly you decide that unwanted attention is not better (just different) than no attention

A good rant I read a year or so ago, was from a woman who was fed up of men doing the "pretend to be a woman" thing (or "my wife gets lots of messages - lucky her!" thing) to see how many messages and what sort of messages they get - without ever actually finishing the experiment.

To really finish the experiment, the guy masquerading as a woman has to respond in a way they would expect women to treat them.  Send the messages back like "you're sweet but I'm not interested" or converse where there is conversation attempts - and then see where it goes, how many which started innocent become sexual or threatening in a short space of time, especially with a rejection

Elsewhere I have a profile people mistake for a woman - and the amount of times I get a message which just starts "wanna chat?" and I reply, "What about?" (because especially on that profile it's contextually important) and then get a reply which is "the things my dick would do to you" - one seemingly nice message to sexually threatening in two messages. 

[Ch****]

19 hours ago, MDQC said:

I agree, further, it's a fundamental issue, at some point spamming works and too many restrictions cost the platform subscribers, so both sides pay in one way or another.
Also, for anyone that wants to know what it's like for the otheside, just change your status and go ahead and see how quickly you decide that unwanted attention is not better (just different) than no attention. Or better yet instead of being jealous of people receiving interest, offer that what is interesting.

A guy would also get the same effect joining as gay, to feel what "unwanted" attention feels like. Especially if they aren't attracted to men. Science!! Lmao

[Bi****]

1 minute ago, Chaey said:

A guy would also get the same effect joining as gay, to feel what "unwanted" attention feels like. Especially if they aren't attracted to men. Science!! Lmao

No I'm bi and barely get any response from either sex

[Ch****]

2 minutes ago, Bidude_69 said:

No I'm bi and barely get any response from either sex

There's a weird stigma with bi men, from what I have observed. Especially at swinger events

[Bi****]

2 minutes ago, Chaey said:

There's a weird stigma with bi men, from what I have observed. Especially at swinger events

Yeah I've noticed and even worse when you're in a open marriage.

[ey****]

10 hours ago, Chaey said:

 

A guy would also get the same effect joining as gay, to feel what "unwanted" attention feels like. Especially if they aren't attracted to men. Science!! Lmao

I'm not sure. I do occassionally get messages from gay guys - and they're usually more respectful when I say I'm not interested. Usually. (compared to how I know straight guys react from rejection to people who are, or they think are, women) 

I guess this is something though, if a straight guy woke up tomorrow to 100 messages from gay guys - how, realistically, would he act?  Would he politely thank and no thank all 100... I doubt it. 

[we****]

“Who want to try being dominated for the first time?” … like, I don’t know, as a masculine cis whatever, man, and also someone for whom service and devotion and like submission, is important to me, this kinda… like

[we****]

(I guess I can’t edit my post) but, energetically that sounds like education at best and prostitution at worst. The question itself begets a misunderstanding that if it were me, would be hard to not take as insulting. Idk. I’m not a dominant woman and I’m upset for her. That’s probably pathological right there.

[Na****]

Id love to be dominated, ive always wanted to be at the mercy of someone . Once a girl tied me up and pegged me. Id never had anything in my ass before and I loved it once I relaxed . But I have always loved the idea of being a slave .

[la****]

It’s an interesting question really because I’m not interested in trying to out dom someone. I prefer for them to be willing to submit even when they may have been the dom in the past. I can understand if they want to be made to submit but that’s not within my interests and I’m tired of having to explain it to the especially when their not willing to listen. If their just starting to explore being a sub I don’t expect their profile to say switch as that’s not what their willing to do at that time though if they’ve had experience then that’s when I expect it.

[Sa****]

A Dominant wanting to submit. Be certain this is what you want. You can be a switch, & enjoy both roles. You do not have to let your Dominant side go. My Dominant side is very intense, but I'm learning to embrace being a switch, for the first time. I'm always going to be a Dominant, that part of me is definitely stronger.

[PC****]

New to the site and just found this forum. Very timely topic as I'm a Dom but intrigued by exploring being a sub talking with two Dommes right now we'll see how it goes. It's funny they're like what are you into or what are your hard nos, of which I have very few and my response has been that would be like going to a five-star restaurant and telling the head chef how you want their signature dish prepared. I want to experience it as a blank canvas maybe I'll like it, maybe I'll say meh or maybe I'll be like holy shit that blew my mind.

Ready for the bombs🫣

[fr****]

I crave submission now that I I was dominated once. I really have no urge to ever be dominant again.