What should a Sub do to ready themselves before approaching a Domme?

[Lincs567]

What work should a Sub do to make a better impression? Is it reading other's works to have better confidence in their role? Showcasing a variety of tools to show they have indulged in the role? Better defining the dynamic they think would work best?

What distinguishes an involved Sub from somebody who is Sub in name alone.

Thank you

[ro****]

I always like creativity write me poem, draw me something to captivate what you see in me be artistic if you're able and if you aren't well the effort if obvious is delicious

[ro****]

Just me though

[Je****]

Work on yourself, grooming as well as cleaning your living space. Have a job or a source of income. Be real and not fake. Be honest in your desires as well as expectations, if you expect that they will interview you, and either decide to take you on a “test drive” or kick you to the curb then you are likely only partly right, it’s likely they will give you a task or more than that to prove that you can follow directions. This is all before they will in person meet you. Be aware that just like a job interview this is just as important an interview for you.

[Am****]

Me as a dominant, I like when a sub has physical written down her limits or what they are good with and not ok with. Write down the safe word. Write down what you looking for. It’s easy to say something different when intimidated by a male. Also write down what you want to be done to you and how you want it to feel. Also ask me anything. Their do dum questions!!!

[TimberTara]

The sub should be on time and adhere to everything that the dominant has asked

[th****]

I like being spanked blindfolded. Dressed as a girl. I also like the idea of it taking hours

[Se****]

I think it's important for a sub to know their limits! what will take them out of the mood to play, what are things to do if subspace is reached, preferred after care! but also what they want as a goal- it is sub space, is it release of control/decisions, physical limitations, being of service. the roll comes in so many forms.
If it's not a virtual relation, setting time to meet physically and get to know each other.
when I sub I make sure to have all the information, but I also like to trust my partner- so getting to know them is important to me (but I'm a monogamous play type so this might not be for everyone)
but communication and respect for one another adds a good layer of investment and care for the other that can make the play enjoyable on sooo many levels! hope this helps someone 🙏🙂

[La****]

Tbh personality first. You need to be interesting as a person to get us hooked first. You also need depth of understanding of what submission really is. Tell them how much experience you have or how far would you go for your submission. Authenticity, respect and honesty is very important. Then pay attention to your potential domme as a human being. Who they are as a person, their interests and their preferences. There are hundreds of self claimed subs. But are you actually one? There are hundreds who beg for attention. But are you actually care for us as a person? Do you actually know how to serve?

[Bu****]

Clean themselves she their holes ma'am

[La****]

Things that make me pass: copy/paste openers, less than one sentence openers, obvious AI writing, writing to me in a way that tells me you did not read my entire profile.

Things that get my attention : a good sense of humor, honesty, good ethics, referencing my profile in their message, recognizing that serving is doing what I want them to do not fulfilling their kinks. And it must be a respectful approach.

[Ur****]

There is no one specific set of traits for a Sub to have.
The two key things are honesty and self-honesty, and an acceptance of mutual control.

Be honest with yourself to workout what you want from the session and honest with yourself partner so that you both know interests and that you actually connect with each other.

There should be a mutual enjoyment and control of the session. Mutual pleasure during the session, Subs and Doms both do this for fun and should get that out of it.
Control beforehand: You ARE allowed to define the things you like be it play styles dynamics, etc.

Tool-wise, if there’s stuff you’re really into and want to get equipment then go for it but we don’t expect you to be decked out to the nines for any and every possible scene

[Bi****]

What helped me was being open and honest, also showing an understanding of the type of dynamic I wanted. I think it's important, as a sub, to show you are able to clearly articulate your needs and desires. Also having a good sense of self and a strong level of independence.

[cl****]

Identify clearly what he is bringing to the table. What skills, service are you offering? Alot of bdsm is not sexual so I'd be looking for personality, responsibility and emotional maturity and very strong working skills around consent

[cl****]

Do not write down everything you want done to you. Dommes are not kinm dispensers.

[ey****]

like which Domme are you approaching and where?

because things like how to make good impressions and such could vary depending on whether it's in real life, or online, whether it's someone you know and/or have rapport with or someone you're going in with cold 

And also this approaching... is it for play... a chat and see where things go... so on?

Cos like in DMs it's not about being the subbiest sub whose ever subbed before - not assuming honarifics and just kinda approaching as a person.   And accepting there may not even be a response, and it might not be *you* - it might not even be read

in person, I dunno, I can think of people who I might speak to and some really is "I've seen you around and you seem cool" and having a chat.  Hell, one Domme at the end of an event pulled me to arrange to make sure we chatted at a next event.  

 

[synkha]

4 hours ago, clear_spring said:

Do not write down everything you want done to you. Dommes are not kinm dispensers.

But you like want to tell them what you like so you know if you even fit together? Ofc also asking for what the dom wants is important tho

[ey****]

Just now, synkha said:

 

But you like want to tell them what you like so you know if you even fit together? Ofc also asking for what the dom wants is important tho

here is the problem - when, particularly men - and particularly sub men, lead with fetishes - especially a shopping list of fetishes, it always sounds like they're more interested in fulfilling the fetishes than the actual person.   It is often a turn off.

Obviously, of course, there is the want to ensure someone is compatible... but like, you can get a rough idea of kinks/fetishes/etc by reading their profile in the first place.

And if, however, there is an absence of info - it really doesn't fucking hurt to wait a few messages before asking what someone is into. 

[synkha]

18 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

here is the problem - when, particularly men - and particularly sub men, lead with fetishes - especially a shopping list of fetishes, it always sounds like they're more interested in fulfilling the fetishes than the actual person.   It is often a turn off.

Obviously, of course, there is the want to ensure someone is compatible... but like, you can get a rough idea of kinks/fetishes/etc by reading their profile in the first place.

And if, however, there is an absence of info - it really doesn't fucking hurt to wait a few messages before asking what someone is into. 

Ofc you don't just lead with that ^^

[ey****]

3 minutes ago, synkha said:

 

Ofc you don't just lead with that ^^

which was exactly the persons point you disagreed with

[Me****]

Don’t assume titles of addressing ask first. And be respectful and not treat her like a kink dispenser treat her like a person.