puppymeows Posted January 10 NPD and BPD are known to attract each other, as the person with BPD tends to serve the one with NPD. The person with NPD makes the person with BPD feel valuable (when they’re happy with them), and the person with BPD makes the one with NPD feel important.
Deleted Member Posted January 10 You're right that everyone has traits, but there’s a massive difference between a personality quirk and a predator’s design. People stay because they hope the intense version from the beginning was the real one. The dark reality is that once the solved sign goes up and the victim stops playing the role, the narcissist usually just finds a new stage. It’s less about a diagnosis and more about the trail of wreckage left behind.
Bu**** Posted January 10 Dopamine hits? Thanks to my ex husband I am clean for 2.5 years 👏🏻. No thank you.
ey**** Posted January 10 3 hours ago, AuraBelle said: You're right that everyone has traits, but there’s a massive difference between a personality quirk and a predator’s design. I'd add a little. Everyone has traits that can be present at some time. And then there are those with NPD - which is an actual neuro condition. Which, if/when recognised - can be treated (not cured, but stuff can be done to help.) and if a partner is aware they can help manage it. And in the middle there are those who are simply awful people. And it's not down to something neuro, diagnosed or otherwise, treat or not - but because they're awful. And also... there's those who are not, but can at times do something where maybe they want validation, or maybe they want to be a little selfish, or so on. Like - any of the threads where people are demanding replies from people they message - that's a narcissistic trait, but I don't feel these people are necessarily narcissists.
wo**** Posted January 10 People with BPD are attractive to people with NPD because the BPD admires and idealizes the NPDs presentation of confidence. The BPD desires stability, they have an emotional void and see the NPDs image of confidence as strength and someone who can meet those needs. They supply the NPD with intense admiration to secure the stability they crave. The NPD craves admiration and is drawn to the BPD who supplies admiration. Eventually BPDs idealization of the NPD lessens along with their supply of admiration, as the realization that the NPD can’t fill their emotional void sets in. The NPDs need for admiration is impacted as a result of reduced supply by the BPD. The NPD responds by becoming indifferent or cold towards the BPD. This triggers *** of abandonment that can be so intense it can be understood as annihilatory panic. The external representation of this is erratic and toxic. The NPD, with their own void and craving for constant admiration responds with toxicity and manipulation themself. They valued the BPD for the admiration, consideration for their needs as a person was never a part of the equation. A cycle of of volatile toxicity ensues.
Ba**** Posted January 12 (edited) The narcissist has to deliver something to get their supply. In the beginging they deliver quick and easy dopamine through love bombing, mirroring, etc. Love bombing can be rather intoxicating especially if you haven't been before. The narcissist ultimately breaks that contract when they're full with devaluation/discard. Rinse and repeat with the same one(hoover) or the next. So I wouldn't even say people like narcissist. They like dopamine and narcissist, at least early on, are very adept at making sure everyone gets their fix. Edited January 12 by BadBunnyWanted grammar
Recommended Posts