Collared Dynamics

[xm****]

Mainly looking for the perspective of those on the left side of the slash-

1. What made you consider having someone wear your collar?

2. What did the collar signify?

3. What were the expectations of the collared s-type?

4. Did you have an exit strategy in place and if so, what were the conditions?

[Cade]

1. What makes me consider an individual to be collared would be multifaceted. First, mutual attraction and similar interest would be confirmed, communication occurs regarding relationship goals, then myself and the individual enter into a consideration period of at least one year. During this time, trust is secured and integrity confirmed (vetting basically), as well as exploration of interest to gauge validity of the matchup. If, after the consideration period myself and the individual (and any other participants) agree there is reason to continue forward, then there would be a collaring ceremony.

2. The collar signifies my claim on the individual and their dedication to serve me, and that they are in training to be owned by me as my slave.

3. Expectations vary to the individual, but the most general expectations are: obedience, respect, honesty, communicating needs and wants, bringing any issues they may have to my attention, and to represent me to the best of their ability. More esoterically, I expect constant growth of their submissive nature to learn how to serve me best, observing my patterns and rituals, and finding out where their skills/talents will improve my quality of life.

4. We do have a mutually agreed upon "lifestyle mediator" (someone that is very aware of my structure and protocol, our limits and relationship goals, so that if discussion of relationship dissolution become necessary, there is an aware but impartial third party to help assuage those pesky emotions and misunderstandings. Communication of issues and concerns happen, and if either party does not want to continue the relationship after, the collar is removed and returned to me. (Of course, that's in an idea world, as we are all aware, sometimes people just checkout. I'm of the mind that if someone doesn't want to serve me, then there's no reason for me to try to keep them in my life.)

[Ch****]

1. She's not annoying, fun to talk to, and hot AF. And 2&3.
2. I own her.
3. That she accepts and loves being owned. Despite still having her own thoughts and feelings (see #1)
4. Nope.

[Pe****]

There is a great place called castle boutique they have a few locations here in Arizona but if course can purchase online. They have a good selection of all different kinds and colors as well as full kits with cuffs and such that all match. I recently purchased a full bdsm kit that sits in a custom briefcase and it just screams classy and sexy

[Pe****]

I personally love the *** chains with the leather or whatever material you prefer in the front . Gives some comfort around your airway but equally distributes the pressure Great for training

[Is****]

Similar to the first commenter, I waited until the relationship was well established before entertaining additional roles. However, from the beginning it was expressed reaching that point was a mutual interest and That helped us maintain our dynamic and gave us a shared goal to work towards. As far as ‘why’ that varies by relationship. For this one specifically she found a lot of fulfillment in servitude and in return she’s for my use & under my protection- mutual satisfaction. With others they just made for really good pets.

Two collars- one for play and one for public. A durable collar for rough play and another that is more a jewelry piece as a statement of her devotion even in public. The play collar she’s not allowed to remove on her own, but the jewelry piece she can take on/off knowing that each time she wears it it’s her way of honoring me whether I’m with her or not. As for the pets, I’d keep their collars with me utilizing it to initiate play time. This dynamic has been more temporary and playful though we’d still do training.

[Cade]

4 minutes ago, Isis_incarnate said:

Similar to the first commenter, I waited until the relationship was well established before entertaining additional roles. However, from the beginning it was expressed reaching that point was a mutual interest and That helped us maintain our dynamic and gave us a shared goal to work towards. As far as ‘why’ that varies by relationship. For this one specifically she found a lot of fulfillment in servitude and in return she’s for my use & under my protection- mutual satisfaction. With others they just made for really good pets.

Two collars- one for play and one for public. A durable collar for rough play and another that is more a jewelry piece as a statement of her devotion even in public. The play collar she’s not allowed to remove on her own, but the jewelry piece she can take on/off knowing that each time she wears it it’s her way of honoring me whether I’m with her or not. As for the pets, I’d keep their collars with me utilizing it to initiate play time. This dynamic has been more temporary and playful though we’d still do training.

Interestingly enough, I find the type of collar, material it's made of, the closing mechanism are all also very symbolic of the dynamic, as well. A flimsy collar that just velcros closed seems to represent a more temporary arrangement, while you might see a devoted 24/7 slave wear a metal collar that actual locks closed. Certainly, one is not better than the other (any more than the relationships they represent), but they can tell you a lot about the nature of commitment and depth of participation.

[Is****]

17 minutes ago, Cade said:

Interestingly enough, I find the type of collar, material it's made of, the closing mechanism are all also very symbolic of the dynamic, as well. A flimsy collar that just velcros closed seems to represent a more temporary arrangement, while you might see a devoted 24/7 slave wear a metal collar that actual locks closed. Certainly, one is not better than the other (any more than the relationships they represent), but they can tell you a lot about the nature of commitment and depth of participation.

Oh absolutely! I suppose that’s a good topic to bring up for those exploring this is intention. Subtle differences hold different intentions and it can be as serious or playful as you both decide. Graduating collars is a good reward system too as the relationship grows 😉

[Charms]

I remember breaking up with my master and taking of my every day collar.

It was more ***ful than taking of my wedding ring when I  was getting divorced.

I will admit I got very drunk an cried.

 

My play collar came eith a matching lead and was fastened like you would a belt. 

 

My everyday colour is a necklace I can take of due to medical stuf I deal with 

Edited January 14 by Charms

[Charms]

1 thing iv gotten over the years and I got another 1 tonight.

 

Is a guy messaging me asking me to be his sub and do kink things with him and not tell my master. Apparently it will be OK and my master want ever find out. The guy said we can have lots of fun.

 

Obviously my master will find out because I will not only tell my master but show him the message also.

I find it extremely bad manners to go after another person's submissive.

 

Expesacily when it says on my profile don't ask me to do things with you behind my masters back. Because I shall tell him and no we do not share at all.

 

[Sq****]

1. She held all of the values and character I hold very dear.
2. That she belongs to me, as long as I have her best interest in mind and ensure fulfill my role to her.
3. To just remain herself. It never added another layer of what I need or expect from her. She earned it and I discussed it with her multiple times before putting one on her.
4. If I felt I or she needed an exit strategy she would not be wearing it. She can exit as she sees fit. It would be devastating, but, I would wish her the best and that would be it.
If you have to ask some of these questions I would strongly advise extensive thoughts about moving forward with it. They're good and fair questions, but if a dynamic and connection is that strong it would be abundantly clear.

[BlueGrace]

I have 4 Doms, 2 that I live with. I have multiple collars that my Doms have purchased over the years from necklaces to bracelets. My Doms knew I was the one for them after three years of being in a dynamic. We have been together for 17 years and still going strong.
My collars signify that I am theirs. I am their world and everything. I am their home and safe space. I am their sunshine on dark days.
Our expectations didn’t change after I earned a collar. They have remained the same since day one.
We don’t have an exit strategy because there isn’t an exit for us. We are in a dynamic until we die. That’s how it is for us.