What is it with you girls and messed up in the head men/doms?

[Deleted Member]

Yesterday at 02:45 AM, Amberz said:

In my opinion;

I imagine all of the PTSD stories are on here, because people feel safe to share the *** that they have went through in their life. They seek understanding, companionship, to feel that they are not alone. They want to know that others have survived similar harm, and maybe, just maybe that it isn't all their fault, in my opinion.

Human beings make mistakes. The abusive male that the girl fell for, had something going for him. It could be as simple as he gave her the attention that she had so desperately craved all of her life, at least in my case that is what it was. 

In my case, I repeatedly fell for the same type of ***rs because I had a deep seeded need for attention. For me, a successful male that had a job was not something I could handle, because they would be away at work for forty plus hours a week. For other victims it could be something else that they may not even recognize. I didn't realize that was my problem for a long time.

"All these other guys, no problems at all" This is a very very bad statement, in my opinion. If you truly believe there are human beings without problems out there, your more naïve than me which is saying something, because I just found out what misandry meant today okay. Lol. 

Its human nature to cling to something that's familiar. I married a guy after I fell out of love with him, and pretty much hated him. For the simple fact that I felt it was expected; I had my life's plan, and I put on appearances for the world of being happy. The new, the unknown was far more terrifying to me than the misery. At least in the every day misery of my life, I knew what to expect. 

"The guy was always toxic" and all the other negative things you say about ***rs. ***rs are people to. Their behavior is completely unacceptable, but they have a back story; more than likely they were a victim at some point or another. They need therapy, in my opinion. They should be punished to the full extent of the law, of course. But they also need therapy, while serving their sentence or after.

My husband(separated) was raised to never hit a woman, while suffering horrible *** from his mother through his whole childhood. My ignorant attempt to introduce bdsm into our relationship, combined with his traumatic childhood had a terrible, awful result that I still feel guilty for. I only hope he has sought help and didn't become a life-long ***r. 

I imagine that, some guys hide behind the title of Dom because they don't know better. Their behavior is not acceptable. Education is important. Media does not help. Therapy and coping skills need to be out there for them. Combined with victims who also don't know better, its often a cycle of *** that is passed on from the environment they grew up in. Something has to break the cycle, often neither the ***r nor the victim know how to do it themselves, in my opinion. 

When you mention the requirements of a Dominant, its a difficult thing for people to understand. Even five years into this lifestyle, most of it online, I'm STILL learning. So, sad as it is; misinformation, miscommunication, media, all of these things make it hard to understand what a Dom/sub relationship is really about. 

Pushing your limits is a sign of a healthy relationship. -- Something like this was said in the lobby chat room the other day. I was confused. I thought limits were suppose to be respected. I have read up on this lifestyle for at least 5 years, mind you. It turns out they were talking about soft limits. So if someone like me can misunderstand such a simple thing, its easy for a victim to accept the grooming of their ***r, and for an ***r to even believe himself to be right. I often had online Dominants in the beginning of my journey convince me that hard limits were meant to be pushed. I didn't realize that wasn't true until a few years in to my online play. So ignorance, is another factor- in my opinion. 

 

Trigger warning-

My *** approached me before, asking me about . She wasn't sure if it had happened, and I wasn't really sure either to be frank. She hadn't wanted it- I had times with my husband when I didn't want it either. For some reason both of us were under the impression you couldn't really say no once you were married. In my opinion, there are probably other females as well who don't realize that "no" is an option, and the word should be accepted. I've had my safe word violated as well by my husband before, and I just didn't know what to do about it. Maybe he didn't realize? I convinced myself. Maybe he forgot that's what the word was? So, in my opinion sometimes people don't even recognize that their rights are being violated.

End Trigger warning.

 

As far as aftercare, I didn't realize that was even a thing for years. When I found out about it, I was amazed- It was seriously, the BEST thing ever. 

 

"You attract what you get" Do you know how awful it is to know the type of men that you attract? I can not go in to detail about this matter emotionally. But I am WELL aware of some of the ***rs I attract. For some reason, I appeal to the worse sort of people and its DAMN hard to deal with. Sometimes when I think back on the men I have talked with, I think I should just set myself up outside of the sheriff's office and let all of the creatures approach me and walk into jail cells to get them off the street. So, in my case at least, its not a willing thing or something I am even aware of how or why it happens. It was so normal to attract these type of ***rs, that I honestly believed all Dominants were like that. Really it wasn't until I joined this site a few days ago that I realized there are actually Dominants that aren't like that, which kind of sickens me the amount that I have normalized terrible things. 

Part of the reason I stuck with my husband so long was because I KNEW there was worse out there. A lot worse. So when you live a life filled with ***, and something less abusive comes along? Its like a rainbow of glitter and sunshine. Because you know it can always be worse. But this time, its a little better.

 

 

& In my opinion, it is NOT that these stories are happening more often than they happened in the past. Its that woman finally feel comfortable and safe about sharing these stories, because not so far in the past the police would have dragged woman right back to their abusive husband and dropped them off. The passage of time doesn't always change behaviors that are passed down in generations, in my opinion.

 

Did I say in my opinion enough? 

 

Cuz--- 

 

In my opinion.

 

 

 

I’m sorry for your experience. And I think you more or less get the issue here. There’s people who are new and naive and make a mistake. There’s also the other issue of people not being new and going back to ***rs or only being attracted to those kinds. There’s also the issue of Doms appearing one way and changing behavior later or just don’t care or lie. There’s also the issue of some just not realizing what they’re doing, and worst of all what I mentioned before is breaking of consent, or that’s how I call it. Complete disregard for what has been pre-negotiated at first. Hard limits, needs, consent etc. I think is very important. I don’t think everyone would agree then break their promise but there’s definitely a handful who do and I think that’s the biggest issue leading to a traumatic experience for the sub and later they’re left with having to deal with the damage done to they’re psychological/mental health. I’m not psychiatrist but I know the first step to overcoming something is admitting you have a problem. Many know however it’s not secret because the damage is done it’s there it’s obvious it’s clear they get triggered by others sharing their own experiences and not being allowed to enjoy a normal life from then on. I sympathize with you and really am sorry for what you experienced, but I think it’s important to not only talk about it, but help others in coming to terms with trauma, as well as ways for people to maybe identify someone who may be toxic. I don’t have all the answers, and this has triggered a lot of people, but I think the most important thing is that it has been called to attention and maybe some of us can help educate others on how they’ve overcome and also maybe avoid certain types of people who might become careless later on in the relationship and break the consent of the sub as well as completely disregard their need for safety, comfort as well as sometimes aftercare for example which helps balance extreme sessions or deal with, when of course they have consented to a more extreme BDSM experience. I’m mentioning that because I have seen a young sub on here sharing their experience on how she consented to abusive sessions but needed the aftercare to help her feel she was still taken care of and safe for emotional and mental security as some people do need. I hope you understand what I’m saying with my words and in no way mean no harm to anyone but to bring to light something that needs to be talked about. I wish you well.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Curvykate said:

Read the room, mate. There are several posts (mostly by women) which have multiple likes. You’re mansplaining. You could be learning from others if you chose to.

That’s already a sexist comment. Meaning cause there’s a number of women and because they have more likes they have more validity in their claims and not is just straight wrong. This isn’t Fb. Likes don’t mean validity it means people just like it or relate or agree. Also “mansplaining” comment was just wrong. Because I am a man means nothing I say is valid no matter all the experience I’ve had or any logical answer does not matter because I am a man. Is this really how you think? I probably should just stop responding to comments like this. This is wrong in all kinds of ways. It’s completely fine for everyone to voice their input, but to invalidate what they say based on sex and likes is completely flawed thinking.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Curvykate said:

☺️ see, I’m trying not to be argumentative! 🤣

I don’t think you’re trying to NOT be argumentative when you say I’m “mansplaining” but at least I’m not directly attacking yourself character for your opinions. I have listened. I have learned a lot. I have learned these issues go brushed aside. People come here voice their concerns and you say it’s ok to do it, then when it’s done I see them get ripped to shreds. So... I think you should take your own advice respectfully speaking.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Primal*** said:

You Are doing well, I have to say 😂

White knights never help the issue, rather they make the issues worse. They validate everything that’s is wrong. Wrong thinking, wrong judgements all for being in the “good graces “ of the women they like.
The actual issue at hand is not even being addressed I see in these comments. It’s saddens me all these people are complaining of trauma and y’all just state your opinions on the OP but not the issue addressed.

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, DaddioDom said:

White knights never help the issue, rather they make the issues worse. They validate everything that’s is wrong. Wrong thinking, wrong judgements all for being in the “good graces “ of the women they like.
The actual issue at hand is not even being addressed I see in these comments. It’s saddens me all these people are complaining of trauma and y’all just state your opinions on the OP but not the issue addressed.

I agree, it was insensitive to have posted this yet we many of us post things we may regret from time to time. I think I tried to adress the original post earlier with what i thought was a constructuve reply,  to which I received no response. I have no further comment as yet but still watch with interest 😊

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, DaddioDom said:

That’s already a sexist comment. Meaning cause there’s a number of women and because they have more likes they have more validity in their claims and not is just straight wrong. This isn’t Fb. Likes don’t mean validity it means people just like it or relate or agree. Also “mansplaining” comment was just wrong. Because I am a man means nothing I say is valid no matter all the experience I’ve had or any logical answer does not matter because I am a man. Is this really how you think? I probably should just stop responding to comments like this. This is wrong in all kinds of ways. It’s completely fine for everyone to voice their input, but to invalidate what they say based on sex and likes is completely flawed thinking.

You’ve posting about female subs. So yes I happen to think that women’s opinions on this particular thread carry more weight. Especially as the ones who’ve posted had some direct experience of *** and/or toxic relationships. That includes me. And we are disagreeing with you but you keep on talking over us - as though you’re the expert. That is mansplaining. I didn’t mention validity once. I haven’t said your opinion is invalid. I just disagree with you. I am one of the women you’re talking about. But apparently I am not allowed to disagree with your verdict on women like me.

[Carnelian2]

@DaddioDomI have read many of your responses. If I can make a suggestion

- Try to space out the comments a bit more. Continuous text in a paragraph is not easy to read and detracts from the message you are trying to get across
- Pardon me for saying this, but a lot of responses appear a long the lines that "the other person does not understand what I am saying, so I will repeat it until they do" ... You might try to consider what others are saying
- Less is more. Smaller sentences. Less text. again it helps with legibility.

I have to admit that from what you have written, I am not entirely clear on whether you are
a) just being provocative in starting a discussion. You have succeeded in that
b) you feel overlooked in that all the bad Doms get the good girls. I sense some of that
c) you genuine feel that women who have been treated needs support and help. You are not really managing to put this across, I have to admit.

[Deleted Member]

24 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

You’ve posting about female subs. So yes I happen to think that women’s opinions on this particular thread carry more weight. Especially as the ones who’ve posted had some direct experience of *** and/or toxic relationships. That includes me. And we are disagreeing with you but you keep on talking over us - as though you’re the expert. That is mansplaining. I didn’t mention validity once. I haven’t said your opinion is invalid. I just disagree with you. I am one of the women you’re talking about. But apparently I am not allowed to disagree with your verdict on women like me.

Female subs are the majority of them but not the only ones and I have mentioned this too and started to include everyone.
You are one person and you don’t represent the whole, there are some women who have agreed with my too and also “liked” my comments as well what then?
If this has actually happened to you why are you not speaking up of the reality of this? *** of consent. Disregard to subs needs. Not once have you touched on this. All your comments have been focused on me all out of frustration of what I’m bringing up.
I’m not “talking over” anyone. That is simply not possible in this forum. Everyone has had a fair chance to speak out, voice their opinion, write long paragraphs and I have said that is fine. If you disagree that is fine. But if I disagree that is mansplaining and somehow I don’t know what I’m talking about. When I’m going off of what these people have been saying themselves.... not what I think they’re going through. What they admit themselves.

[Deleted Member]

[Deleted Member]

8 minutes ago, DaddioDom said:

Female subs are the majority of them but not the only ones and I have mentioned this too and started to include everyone.
You are one person and you don’t represent the whole, there are some women who have agreed with my too and also “liked” my comments as well what then?
If this has actually happened to you why are you not speaking up of the reality of this? *** of consent. Disregard to subs needs. Not once have you touched on this. All your comments have been focused on me all out of frustration of what I’m bringing up.
I’m not “talking over” anyone. That is simply not possible in this forum. Everyone has had a fair chance to speak out, voice their opinion, write long paragraphs and I have said that is fine. If you disagree that is fine. But if I disagree that is mansplaining and somehow I don’t know what I’m talking about. When I’m going off of what these people have been saying themselves.... not what I think they’re going through. What they admit themselves.

I don’t claim to represent the whole. I’ve represented what my concerns are with how you present your opinion. More than once. This is circular. I’m not posting because you’ve triggered me. I’m posting because some of the things you’re saying about women are massively wrong.

[Deleted Member]

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I don’t claim to represent the whole. I’ve represented what my concerns are with how you present your opinion. More than once. This is circular. I’m not posting because you’ve triggered me. I’m posting because some of the things you’re saying about women are massively wrong.

I speak when I’m ready to speak about my own experience. And I have. This is not the place.

[Deleted Member]

If you would genuinely like to help victims of ***, please pursue a career in that field. You can also volunteer your services at a place like a domestic *** shelter, and any other number of helpful things. 

 

Even if all you can do is online, you can likely get some training to become an online therapist to help support the victims of ***. Always, you will need education- but there are also those who go and teach in schools as well. Guest speakers I think they call them.

 

I see you have a lot of passion for this topic. There are lots of people that need help, so educate yourself first and then help them. The world will be a better place for it. Those are just my suggestions. 

[Deleted Member]

@Carnelian I used myself and my experience as an example when it came to the part about
your part b) “you genuine feel that women overlooked in that all the bad Doms get the good girls. I sense some of that”
a bit generalized but I have seen this happen with a lot of people not just myself. And as for my own experience with that it has been a very long time but the example was to point out that they even rather “choose” toxic men instead of the logically better option. Supporting my point that even when traumatized, and ***d, they still often seek out those personality types.... sometimes then complain about it. But again, “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me”
C) I thought I put this across in my last comments if I haven’t in the original post forgive me I thought I did and that’s why I had to keep “repeating myself”
Also you can’t even re edit posts so once it’s posted and worded wrong that’s it you have to correct typos or reclarify opinions in the comments. Hence all the repeating and long paragraphs 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Carnelian2]

3 minutes ago, DaddioDom said:

@Carnelian I used myself and my experience as an example when it came to the part about
your part b) “you genuine feel that women overlooked in that all the bad Doms get the good girls. I sense some of that”
a bit generalized but I have seen this happen with a lot of people not just myself. And as for my own experience with that it has been a very long time but the example was to point out that they even rather “choose” toxic men instead of the logically better option. Supporting my point that even when traumatized, and ***d, they still often seek out those personality types.... sometimes then complain about it. But again, “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me”
C) I thought I put this across in my last comments if I haven’t in the original post forgive me I thought I did and that’s why I had to keep “repeating myself”
Also you can’t even re edit posts so once it’s posted and worded wrong that’s it you have to correct typos or reclarify opinions in the comments. Hence all the repeating and long paragraphs 🤷🏻‍♂️

Actually, you can re-edit posts and remove the text you are not commenting on.
Also, I think we have covered the fact that some women find themselves in successive unhealthy relationships. That is a fact. Psychologically proven even. 
I don't think anyone disagrees with that. However, to point it out is not going to fix it.

If you talk about D/s relationship it is about pointing out where the red flags can be, and how to ensure that the lead-up to a relationship is healthy. I think others also covered that already.

[so****]

1000%👍. For my whole life, I've heard women complain about asshole guys they're with, only to NEVER LEARN A DAMN THING & they always go back to those same asshole types. I almost think they secretly want it. Otherwise they'd learn from those bad experiences & start avoiding those guys like the damn plague. & Men can be like this with toxic women too. Some people just like crazy. Wheather they want to admit it or not, or wheather they even k ow it or not. But I 100% agree & I've always wondered why people simply don't learn. Idk🤷‍♂️

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, sonofthunder777 said:

1000%👍. For my whole life, I've heard women complain about asshole guys they're with, only to NEVER LEARN A DAMN THING & they always go back to those same asshole types. I almost think they secretly want it. Otherwise they'd learn from those bad experiences & start avoiding those guys like the damn plague. & Men can be like this with toxic women too. Some people just like crazy. Wheather they want to admit it or not, or wheather they even k ow it or not. But I 100% agree & I've always wondered why people simply don't learn. Idk🤷‍♂️

Yep. All women ever want is to be treated like shit by men. It absolutely must be our fault. You’re SO on it.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Carnelian2 said:

Actually, you can re-edit posts and remove the text you are not commenting on.
Also, I think we have covered the fact that some women find themselves in successive unhealthy relationships. That is a fact. Psychologically proven even. 
I don't think anyone disagrees with that. However, to point it out is not going to fix it.

If you talk about D/s relationship it is about pointing out where the red flags can be, and how to ensure that the lead-up to a relationship is healthy. I think others also covered that already.

Actually , you can’t. I’m on the phone all maybe that’s why.

[Deleted Member]

24 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Yep. All women ever want is to be treated like shit by men. It absolutely must be our fault. You’re SO on it.

You keep taking things out of context and all I see this is coming out of your emotions rather than you logically adding to the fact.

This isn’t about men and women. BOTH experience trauma and deal with PTSD among other mental issues.

I’ve been ***d before too and traumatized which has hindered my enjoyment in life for years and took me a long time to come to terms.
This isn’t specific to women. The main difference is, and yes most commonly with women, but not only, and you keep refusing to admit it, is often very often they keep going back to their ***rs........ even after voicing out their acknowledgment of the psychological damage they have undergone.
And STILL go back...... do you have experience with this too? If not then I think we can drop the hurtness about mentioning genders. It happens to both but more common I have seen is women who are even addicted to the *** and toxicity of the relationship, often having to do with upbringing, and familiarity with abusing relationships because it is all they know.

[Deleted Member]

There is a thing called a cycle of ***. 

 

1. The honeymoon phase. 

2. Tension

3. The incident. 

And it cycles back to the honey moon phase. 

 

Imagine giving something living a treat. You feed it lots of treats in the beginning. Then you ignore the thing, only occasionally giving it treats. Then you use *** against the thing. Immediately after, you give lots and lots of treats, promising never to use *** again. The cycle repeats and repeats. 

 

There is a reason in the USA that there is mandatory arrest laws for domestic *** incidents, and why victims don't have a say if their ***r gets prosecuted.

 

If it were really the victims fault, the law wouldn't go so far to protect them.

 

 

 

 

Other reasons that some people continue to go back to their ***r; 

1. *** of loosing custody. 

2. Finances. 

3. Religion, culture, not believing in divorce, etc

4. Blame themselves for the incident. 

5. *** of death.

6. She loves him, believes in change.

7. Family does not believe, or even approves of *** going on.

 

 

 

 

There are so many pages, upon pages, upon pages, upon pages, did I mention.. upon pages? Of information as to why people continue to go back to domestic ***. The fact that its in the bdsm world doesn't change many of the same factors. It actually probably adds an element of secret to it that makes people less likely to come forward, but that last part is just my guess.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, sonofthunder777 said:

1000%👍. For my whole life, I've heard women complain about asshole guys they're with, only to NEVER LEARN A DAMN THING & they always go back to those same asshole types. I almost think they secretly want it. Otherwise they'd learn from those bad experiences & start avoiding those guys like the damn plague. & Men can be like this with toxic women too. Some people just like crazy. Wheather they want to admit it or not, or wheather they even k ow it or not. But I 100% agree & I've always wondered why people simply don't learn. Idk🤷‍♂️

Thank you. You get it. This isn’t even a mansplaining. We just have seen this happen time and time again. Being ***d beyond consent is one thing. But going back to the same thing that has damaged you is another.... I swear if I had a penny for every time I have seen this in relationships, I’d be able to purchase myself an island.

Being tricked by a Dom and going back to one who you have been ruined by beyond consent are two different things.

This was the entire point of the whole post.
Judge all you want it still remains a fact I see people don’t want to admit and face. And that’s what’s causing the real harm.

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, Amberz said:

There is a thing called a cycle of ***. 

 

1. The honeymoon phase. 

2. Tension

3. The incident. 

And it cycles back to the honey moon phase. 

 

Imagine giving something living a treat. You feed it lots of treats in the beginning. Then you ignore the thing, only occasionally giving it treats. Then you use *** against the thing. Immediately after, you give lots and lots of treats, promising never to use *** again. The cycle repeats and repeats. 

 

There is a reason in the USA that there is mandatory arrest laws for domestic *** incidents, and why victims don't have a say if their ***r gets prosecuted.

 

If it were really the victims fault, the law wouldn't go so far to protect them.

 

 

 

 

Other reasons that some people continue to go back to their ***r; 

1. *** of loosing custody. 

2. Finances. 

3. Religion, culture, not believing in divorce, etc

4. Blame themselves for the incident. 

5. *** of death.

6. She loves him, believes in change.

7. Family does not believe, or even approves of *** going on.

 

 

 

 

There are so many pages, upon pages, upon pages, upon pages, did I mention.. upon pages? Of information as to why people continue to go back to domestic ***. The fact that its in the bdsm world doesn't change many of the same factors. It actually probably adds an element of secret to it that makes people less likely to come forward, but that last part is just my guess.

Thank you so much for your post that was a lot of great information and truth and I have nothing to disagree with that. See? This is how you debate and contribute to a post like this. At least she understands the matter at hand. Thank you 🙏

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, Amberz said:

There is a thing called a cycle of ***. 

 

1. The honeymoon phase. 

2. Tension

3. The incident. 

And it cycles back to the honey moon phase. 

 

Imagine giving something living a treat. You feed it lots of treats in the beginning. Then you ignore the thing, only occasionally giving it treats. Then you use *** against the thing. Immediately after, you give lots and lots of treats, promising never to use *** again. The cycle repeats and repeats. 

 

There is a reason in the USA that there is mandatory arrest laws for domestic *** incidents, and why victims don't have a say if their ***r gets prosecuted.

 

If it were really the victims fault, the law wouldn't go so far to protect them.

 

 

 

 

Other reasons that some people continue to go back to their ***r; 

1. *** of loosing custody. 

2. Finances. 

3. Religion, culture, not believing in divorce, etc

4. Blame themselves for the incident. 

5. *** of death.

6. She loves him, believes in change.

7. Family does not believe, or even approves of *** going on.

 

 

 

 

There are so many pages, upon pages, upon pages, upon pages, did I mention.. upon pages? Of information as to why people continue to go back to domestic ***. The fact that its in the bdsm world doesn't change many of the same factors. It actually probably adds an element of secret to it that makes people less likely to come forward, but that last part is just my guess.

And also just want to add to that is also in BDSM there are people looking for “enjoyable” “***” coming from a space where actual permanent harm is not intended. It’s so borderline on the verge of *** and trauma.
Some people even seek *** after trauma because they’re used to it.
But that is right. Bdsm does not change the fact it exists in the world. It’s just risky when ppl ask and look for *** and ***, there’s a line that has to be drawn. Hard limits, safe words,needs and consent respected.

Side note the people that have traumatized me and caused me mental harm I had to deal with for years, I sure as hell never went back to them that’s for sure.

[Deleted Member]

DaddioDom 

"Side note the people that have traumatized me and caused me mental harm I had to deal with for years, I sure as hell never went back to them that’s for sure."

 

Saying this in response to those who did suffer domestic *** and did go back to their ***rs is just not nice.

 

Let me try and give an example.

 

Larry hobbles into the room on a pair of crutches. "A drunk driver crashed into me, broke my leg." he explains to his friends. Samantha raises her eyebrows. "Really?" She questions, her eyebrow raised doubtfully. "Because a drunk driver crashed into me and I walked away with scratches." She says with a shrug of her shoulders. 

 

Thats basically what your coming off like. To me anyways.

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, Amberz said:

DaddioDom 

"Side note the people that have traumatized me and caused me mental harm I had to deal with for years, I sure as hell never went back to them that’s for sure."

 

Saying this in response to those who did suffer domestic *** and did go back to their ***rs is just not nice.

 

Let me try and give an example.

 

Larry hobbles into the room on a pair of crutches. "A drunk driver crashed into me, broke my leg." he explains to his friends. Samantha raises her eyebrows. "Really?" She questions, her eyebrow raised doubtfully. "Because a drunk driver crashed into me and I walked away with scratches." She says with a shrug of her shoulders. 

 

Thats basically what your coming off like. To me anyways.

I don’t know why reading that upset me so much. Maybe because I know of so many women who’ve been in this position. And to read that response and the suggestion that women must be addicted to *** and toxicity. After you had laid it out in black and white why women sometimes return . 😔 Jesus. 😔