Limits (or lack thereof)

[Da****]

I have seen many Doms comment about either not needing or not wanting to write out their limits. To this i say, yes I put base limits on my profile to let others see that these are things I won't do with any. They can then decide if they want to talk or not, if they read it. Like another said, I enjoy the sight, the feel of a very sharp blade cutting cloth and dancing over skin, but I don't do *** play. This let's a sub know I don't do piercing play, I don't do menstruation play, and I don't do any play that intentionally draws ***. For me it is a safety issue. If they seek that they know not to waste either of our time.

On the thought of a sub not putting any or saying they have 0 limits it tends to show those who are new or are here for the game. To me asking a subs limits and experiences tend to be asked early in the conversation. I also tend to ask if they have ever done a bdsm check list...I know soft limits change, even a hard limit can change as someone stated above, they found things they thought were hard limits were actually interesting enough to try them. Yet if they are new to the lifestyle it gives a spot to begin to help them learn and understand, answering questions if I have the knowledge or trying to find it. I also ask about medical information such as heart conditions, limb issues (had a sub not tell me about a trick shoulder that got easily dislocated) and any other things that could cause issues to a scene.

[Da****]

1 hour ago, nottingham272 said:

I don't understand why people put sick or illegal things in limits. As if that has to be said.

What you consider sick could be someone's kink.. that is not a black and white thing. I personally don't do *** or atm, it is distasteful to me, but I know people who find it a turn on.

[ey****]

On 2/15/2026 at 9:45 AM, nottingham272 said:

I don't understand why people put sick or illegal things in limits. As if that has to be said.

or if someone puts "anything illegal" forgetting of course that a lot of consensual kink is actually illegal, just not enf@rced. 

[Da****]

In Indiana a person cannot legally consent to their own ass@ult so any bondage and impact play is illegal here. A person could be charged with *** with a dangerous weapon and illegal detention (***ing) if it gets en***d. This is rare but it does happen.

[on****]

3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I'd say yes, but also.

the Dominant may not like certain words, languages or behaviours from a sub.   It'd be unfair to punish or stop a session for something the sub didn't know

Particularly in F/m there is sometimes a problem with subs who will test boundaries, for example during worship/massage moving hands/lips higher than they should be - again if this is clear as a limit then there's no plausible deniability.

 

You said what I was trying to say in a lot fewer words. Bravo. :)

[si****]

Haven't finished filling all the blanks. New here

[Ar****]

None could be weird. Could be they havnt found one. ALSO not.to weird but who wants to play with poop?

[Wo****]

10 hours ago, nottingham272 said:

I don't understand why people put sick or illegal things in limits. As if that has to be said.

What do you define as "kinky" vs "sick"? Where do you draw the line of what should be mentioned as a limit and what is so obviously sick that it is a given that no one wants to do it?

[Deleted Member]

Yes, and where they're shady about they experience

[Dr****]

My Dom side I always go by my Subs limits but I also take time to talk with anyone im with usually in person together a feel for each other build trust and discuss in detail expectations and limits

[fa****]

I also go with what Drew said. I go with my subs limits. I also have a few of my own. For any that say no limits I also agree with OP's saying. Makes you think about them as a person.

[wp****]

There must always be limits. I guess some people naively put no limits as they don't give it the thought or attention it needs.

[my****]

Well to be honest there is always limits on doms and subs. Now if they do t write it. Most likly.cause they are scared or.new to this. Some.dont.write it cause they rather speak.about it one on one and build.more of a.connection. but everyone has limits

[Da****]

I would guess 1 as that’s oftentimes my answer to certain questions and preferences as I’m too new to the scene to establish what I actually like yet?

[ly****]

I just joined tonight... and i would have said no! Until tonight. Lol

[FE****]

Moderator Note:

I have removed several replies that are completely away from the topic from the OP.

Not saying these aren't valid discussions, just not valid here.

[Ba****]

34 minutes ago, FETMod-RG said:

Moderator Note:

I have removed several replies that are completely away from the topic from the OP.

Not saying these aren't valid discussions, just not valid here.

Fair point
But you missed some

[Su****]

Regarding the actual question of the post, I've noticed that leaving the limits section blank is usually because they don't want to bother, or occasionally it's that they are new and don't know what to write. The ones that say they have no limits are a bigger concern, because they are either mistaken, dangerous, or need to develop boundaries and enough self-esteem to keep themselves safe.

[JackJonesHull]

It's almost certainly one or all three of the suggested options.
But most likely to be the third. Either through apathy or arrogance. Arrogance makes me uncomfortable at the very least. Actually caring is imperative.
That is all.

[Ag****]

I'm a dominant leaning switch, but holy fuck to I see red flags when I see another dominant put that. Depending on my mood and headspace I might reach out to see if they actually mean none or if they want assistance with what to put (if the vibes aren't totally rancid in the first place), but in many cases there are other red flags that go with it to tell me that it's not so much that they have no actual limits, but that they just don't care enough to explore themselves to learn about themselves.

[FE****]

4 hours ago, Barthold said:

 

Fair point
But you missed some

Yes,  tried to leave points that were related to the op (even if also veering away)

[la****]

Huge red flag. How do I know not to cross a line if you don’t draw one? And if something could make a dom withdraw during a scene and the sub didn’t know about it before hand it could be perceived as a rejection and sour the whole scene or lead to a drop.

[ky****]

Most definitely #1 and sometimes the other 2 sprinkled in. It screams of someone who has never experienced dom drop which usually translates to a person who sees kink as just an easy way to get laid

[ru****]

*** and ***. It’s easier to just say I’m open to everything once.

[Ge****]

I don't have any limits.....none at all.......because I point blank refuse to touch ANYONE in any manner that is not 1000% purely platonic!

Many vanilla people seem to think that the BDSM community is filled with predators and people who failed at dating mentally healthy individuals.......judging by the comments those vanillas seem to be correct 🤨