Wh**** Posted February 20 If you just got out of a relationship where you couldn't be yourself not because your partner was controlling but was not interested in the same things you were, what do you think is an acceptable amount of time to wait till you get back out there? If it's not about time then what do you need to do for you to move on? And why?
Dragonstar35 Posted February 20 Honestly, you need to heal yourself and find out what you lost and take stock of who you are because people will destroy you and then it takes time to figure out what they took away from you I’m not sure what the acceptable about a time to wait is
mi**** Posted February 20 It took me over two years to heal from a 29 year relationship… we are still friends. But everyone is different.
Ra**** Posted February 20 Today. The longer you wait, the more detached you get from the social skills you need to date and the lower your chances are of finding the next one. Getting caught up in feelings and "waiting to heal" is not healthy for anyone
ji**** Posted February 20 Different people takes things differently. I don’t know what’s going on, what you’ve been through. All I know is that- you probably stayed cus you enjoyed their companionship the most. To move on from that, if your heart is still lingering around for them- missing them still- it’ll probably take weeks or months or years (depending on how long you guys been together for). You can’t jump in to look for another date / person right away. These things takes time. You gotta sit back, Netflix and chill. Think about what you really want and making sure you’re not in a *** state before you go out looking again. Thats how I feel currently. I don’t wanna put in hopes on people and just let them come by as they wished. No one’s perfect and you won’t get your first match right away. It takes time and couple of tries anyways.
Co**** Posted February 20 Depends on the type of relationship you had! If it was a happy one then there's no need to wait around get back out there! But if there was a huge amount of stress and not a pleasant time then take time, you'll know when the time is right. Also healing is important.
ey**** Posted February 20 how long is a piece of string? sometimes the probelm is people try too fast (choice or circumstance) and it's messy cos they still haven't properly got over the last relationship - and this doesn't necessarily mean "pining for ex" - but it could be that you end up overcompensating, or seeing minor things the wrong way or so on how long it takes people to be ready varies
Ga**** Posted February 20 There’s not a rule book. It’s different for everyone, and for every relationship. I think the only thing that matters is that you should do what you feel like doing. Be honest with yourself and whomever else might be involved, but follow your heart. Or your cock. Either way, you’ll know if it’s too soon, and you’ll be able to pull back. Or maybe you’ll just push through and accelerate the healing process. You can’t really know what works. I had to take time when one relationship ended and when another one did I had to dive right back in. You know what you need, we can’t tell you.
mi**** Posted February 20 38 minuti fa, GabsGabsinG said: There’s not a rule book. It’s different for everyone, and for every relationship. I think the only thing that matters is that you should do what you feel like doing. Be honest with yourself and whomever else might be involved, but follow your heart. Or your cock. Either way, you’ll know if it’s too soon, and you’ll be able to pull back. Or maybe you’ll just push through and accelerate the healing process. You can’t really know what works. I had to take time when one relationship ended and when another one did I had to dive right back in. You know what you need, we can’t tell you. I think that what you’re saying is right, but sometimes I think that when you end up a relationship you need also someone else to talk with out of having a more complete vision of the situation and maybe find out something that you weren’t able to see before. about the topic I can say that you understand by yourself when it’s time to restart and maybe do it with a better idea of yourself and what you need ( also what you want from your partner )thanks to experience that you did.
Ga**** Posted February 20 10 minutes ago, milanesino said: I think that what you’re saying is right, but sometimes I think that when you end up a relationship you need also someone else to talk with out of having a more complete vision of the situation and maybe find out something that you weren’t able to see before. about the topic I can say that you understand by yourself when it’s time to restart and maybe do it with a better idea of yourself and what you need ( also what you want from your partner )thanks to experience that you did. Agreed- but you need to talk about your feelings. Or keep a diary about them- others can give you their opinions, but you don’t actually need their opinions, you just need the space to voice your own and expand on them. You’re the whole part of the healing process. Others can hold your hand and listen, but it’s all about you. Just about you. If anyone else “fixes it” for you by telling you how to fix it, it will not really be healed. Finding out the process is the healing process. And it’s different every time. No one has your exact emotional makeup, your baggage, your experiences. So… write it out. To yourself, to all, some, or one of us. We can be your sounding boards, but we can’t push you through. We can just see you through.
mi**** Posted February 20 3 minuti fa, GabsGabsinG said: Agreed- but you need to talk about your feelings. Or keep a diary about them- others can give you their opinions, but you don’t actually need their opinions, you just need the space to voice your own and expand on them. You’re the whole part of the healing process. Others can hold your hand and listen, but it’s all about you. Just about you. If anyone else “fixes it” for you by telling you how to fix it, it will not really be healed. Finding out the process is the healing process. And it’s different every time. No one has your exact emotional makeup, your baggage, your experiences. So… write it out. To yourself, to all, some, or one of us. We can be your sounding boards, but we can’t push you through. We can just see you through. I completely agree with you on those aspects, that if you don’t start it by your own, you won’t ever get out of it that’s the point, but I think we can also agree on the fact that if you have some friends that don’t do these things for you, but they help you to do a process by yourself and they’ll let you know that they are there with you, it will be way easier. Btw I’m Italian too if u want to chat a bit LOL
mi**** Posted February 20 It’s up to how u will analyze your experience and decide to take the right and put down the wrong buddy!!! You’ll do it
Wh**** Posted February 20 Author Update on me. Im out the relationship we still are working out details since we are married with a kid. I know and aware the stuff she done to me and for the most part im over it because alot of it was not something "I need to fix" personality wise. The marriage feel apart mostly lack of communication and attention to each other. Ive been in therapy almost a year. Im ok to move on. Ive accepted what happened. What was my fault. I asked this question to hear responses because I have heard that in other people's opinions I should wait longer....
Ga**** Posted February 20 Then I’ll just say this: nobody can tell you when you’re ready. There is no universal “too soon”. If you’re ready you’re ready, and nobody other than you can decide that.
ca**** Posted February 20 (edited) 2 hours ago, Whiteman92 said: Update on me. Im out the relationship we still are working out details since we are married with a kid. I know and aware the stuff she done to me and for the most part im over it because alot of it was not something "I need to fix" personality wise. The marriage feel apart mostly lack of communication and attention to each other. Ive been in therapy almost a year. Im ok to move on. Ive accepted what happened. What was my fault. I asked this question to hear responses because I have heard that in other people's opinions I should wait longer.... Definitely your call, and by the sounds of it ..you feel ready and comfortable about it in your own skin / mind. One thing to consider, as you mention 'sorting stuff out re; the kid........ might be something to see where thatv all goes (if it is to be detailed in the near future etc). I only say this as my parents split with very little communication with me / my brother and then very little contact with the father for a good deal of time after. Edited February 20 by callipygian
Ma**** Posted February 20 So I was in a relationship where I couldn't be myself like I loved being a girl and I want to experience everything as a girl like I even loved her Pegging me while I was in a sexy pair of panties and other feminine clothes
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