Random thoughts of a newbie....

[Daisydreams]

Ok, yes I'm new to the scene, arrived quite late, introduced by a LD online Dom, do I know if he's a good dom? No, I have no other experience to go by, prior to my world being turned upside down by him I was leaving my husband of 17 years....

I had the dom in my life for around 6 months, during which, he told me he loved me... I've never felt so needed and yet unsure in my life, why? Because he sensed I had alot of stress in my life (leaving the hub, losing my job, my home, lockdown) I was beyond feeling insecure and it showed...I was maybe a little too needy and he also had an extremely busy life...bad combination I guess..

Neither of us, it would seem, could completely 'delete' the other, even though we rarely spoke for months, I missed him so much and eventually we began talking 2 months back, he has many sides to him, as we all do. 

Im not sure it's the same, or is it because I want the same....maybe he's being cautious, maybe I'm being to willing....

Reading the forums here I see im not alone in the 'is this right? Am I right? Is he/she a good dom? Am I a good sub? Should I have feelings?' 

Sooo many thoughts and questions...

Im not necessarily looking for answers, maybe I wont like the opinions? 

Now I've started writing....I literally have forgotten most of the thoughts that fill my mind....

 

[UK****]

If you both enjoy what you do together, why should it bother you?

[NY****]

I think those that are newer to the scene question ourselves as a normal course of human instinct. On a good note by always questioning to a degree how you be better or understand more deeply -in my opinion- can make you a more sensitive and considerate sub. I’d say the bottom line is do you both feel good about what you are getting out of your D/s situation? If the answer is yes then there are no wrong or right ways as long as you both move forward positively and always learning as you go

[Leisa]

You are having normal feelings so don’t feel so unsure of yourself. In this lifestyle you feel intense feelings quicker then many other relationships. This is because you have to trust the dynamic in order to trust your Dominant completely. A Dom will literally hold your life in his hands depending on the type of play you will enter into. Even after over two decades in this lifestyle I can tell you that what you are feeling is normal and you will always have these feelings in the beginning. By protecting yourself you are protecting your decisions. Best of luck and welcome to the experience of a lifetime.

[Daisydreams]

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read

I could of continued for hours about my thoughts...

I'm not sure he's a fantastic dom, a little self focused at times, although he will reassure me now and then that although he is going through a very unexpected, busy time, I am always in his thoughts and will check in on me at least once a day...im not sure im an amazing sub....Im not always great at being creative, I over think things, always crave more spend too much time in my own head and possibly create problems (17 years of an insecure feeble will do that)...

Maybe I should start a blog....

But to all those who know where I'm coming from, have been there or are there right now...

Im with you

 

[Lola-2590]

You will start putting your feelings into perspective.... it’s executable to have unexplainable feelings for a person that you have to wholly trust. Rather than analyze it, enjoy the journey. Keep a journal, write down your thoughts and feelings it really helps. But also focus on you and your interests and other people you love. It’s no ordinary relationship Lola xxx

[Deleted Member]

I had an experience as I was in the process of separating. Also have a busy and complicated life, and can be needy. It didn’t end well. 
 

I wonder now if my needs have changed. 
 

There is a level of intensity in a D/s dynamic that I crave. But it is also a risk. I’m a bit risk averse when it comes to my emotions at the moment.

Anyway, I’m rambling, as always. I felt some similarities to your situation and would be more than happy to message and reflect. Be a supportive ear. I am a bit of a rambler though. Like you, so many thoughts in my head, I can rarely pin them down.

I’m pretty new to it all too. 
 

 

[Daisydreams]

5 hours ago, RestlessRaven said:

I had an experience as I was in the process of separating. Also have a busy and complicated life, and can be needy. It didn’t end well. 
 

I wonder now if my needs have changed. 
 

There is a level of intensity in a D/s dynamic that I crave. But it is also a risk. I’m a bit risk averse when it comes to my emotions at the moment.

Anyway, I’m rambling, as always. I felt some similarities to your situation and would be more than happy to message and reflect. Be a supportive ear. I am a bit of a rambler though. Like you, so many thoughts in my head, I can rarely pin them down.

I’m pretty new to it all too. 
 

 

Hey Raven, 

I think I have too many thoughts, and look for reasons why I should doubt 🤔

Sure, message away, I mean I will probably bore the hell out of you 😂

[Daisydreams]

On 3/19/2021 at 8:17 AM, UK_Knight said:

If you both enjoy what you do together, why should it bother you?

Because I'm me and I doubt everything....

[Daisydreams]

On 3/19/2021 at 10:22 AM, NYshelteredwife said:

I think those that are newer to the scene question ourselves as a normal course of human instinct. On a good note by always questioning to a degree how you be better or understand more deeply -in my opinion- can make you a more sensitive and considerate sub. I’d say the bottom line is do you both feel good about what you are getting out of your D/s situation? If the answer is yes then there are no wrong or right ways as long as you both move forward positively and always learning as you go

My biggest issue is my head, my past....

[Deleted Member]

8 minutes ago, Daisydreams said:

Because I'm me and I doubt everything....

Sounds very familiar 🤔

[NY****]

My biggest issue is my head, my past....

Yes I believe same for alot

[Daisydreams]

15 hours ago, NYshelteredwife said:

My biggest issue is my head, my past....

Yes I believe same for alot

I need too much, push for too much ....then regret it....rinse and repeat