I’m new, where do I start

[Deleted Member]

Hello Fetish friends, I’m new to this lifestyle and very shy. I’m not sure if the combination is a good one but I’m not good at making friends and need a gentle push in the right direction. 
kink wise I’m green but have lots of thoughts. 
Am I the only one thinking like this?

advice needed.  

[Deleted Member]

Hey, you may be shy, but already you make an effort to say hello, to move in the right direction 😊. Your far from alone as it can be daunting, when you first arrive, but it's really not that scary once you settle. Be who you are, be yourself and over time hopefully you will see that there is a place for every one, should that be what you choose

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for your kind words. 

[Deleted Member]

As someone who's rather new in the community as well (about a year now) the best advice I can give you is to be yourself, experiment, be open but also listen to your gut feeling. I met lots of really kind, supportive and inspiring people in the community but just as much manipulative, toxic assholes and from my experience, you unfortunately have to deal with that kind of people more than you'd like... Stand your ground and know your worth, no matter your role. If they can't respect you during the texting phase, how do you think they'll treat you while playing..?
I hope I haven't scared you away already, all I'm saying is that carefully selecting who you're interacting with has never hurt anyone. As DonnyPrimal already said, once you settle in and get used to it, I'm sure you'll make great experiences and have lots of fun! 🖤

[Deleted Member]

You’re so right. I need to value myself first which is the most important. Thank you

[yuzuyoko]

Hello and welcome ;)

[Deleted Member]

With over 30 years of experience, I am amazed at the developments in the community and the direction that has been taken. I regularly speak to women, and blogs pass by in which women indicate how they are treated here, and about disrespectful messages they receive. How different this was decades ago. Women were treated with the utmost respect. Nowadays you have the internet and apps, the information is a mouse click away, and a mentor you can consult is easy to find on apps. Yet it appears that many Dominants do not master the art, the customs and protocols, and disrespectfully go to war to hope to fish a submissive out of the pond in all their desperation. The advice to all these Dominants is: immerse yourself in the matter of BDSM, immerse yourself in the art that it is, immerse yourself in the protocols that apply. Submissives looking for a Dominant do not want vulgar and disrespectful messages. And certainly don't expect them to submit to such lack of knowledge and respect

[All3n]

Howdy, and welcome.

[sm****]

welcome to fet...the best ways to learn are to ask questions, liek you are doing now.  See how the forums and site chat features appeal, it will take time, so don't be disheartened.

But offline, by far the best way to get to know people and learn is by attending r/l munches in or around your area if they have one.   Basically these are monthly meet ups of like minded people in a normal setting like a bar/food establishment etc all in normal clothing nothing fetish about them, to make it feel safe and appealing to all.

Just ask away anything that you feel you might need, sit back read and learn through time.  It will take time there is no magic formula, people need to gauge how you interact etc and gain trust.

 

Hope this helps and look forward to seeing you around the site.

 

[CherryP]

Hi there!  I’m a newbie too so I know how you feel.  My advice is to go with your instincts and if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it.