What’s a non-sexual red flag that instantly makes someone less attractive in kink spaces

[PresentisPeculiar]

19 hours ago, SkipperVa said:

couchsurfing people without a job. AKA hobosexuals. Not judging as Ive been in bad situations, some my fault, some not...but I also didnt use dating as a way to get meals. In fact, I didnt date at all, I focused on me until my shit was back together enough that socializing was a priority. I wouldnt even mind helping people get on their feet because, again, I've been there...but most of them dont even want that, they just want the free ride and just bail if they cant get one. Its worse if theyre using sex as an escape/drug, I dont want to enable bad behavior. Plus, its just hella awkward if i just want sex, and they just want food/shelter...gives me the ick, its NOT the dynamic im looking for. I stop wanting the sex because I dont want to be a creep, and then I just feel like someone's dad sayin 'put down the pipe and get a job'.

I hobo'd for a summer back when I was 18. But the women in that circle of couches said it was preferable to me leaving town back to my university city (I was couch surfing my hometown, which is about 30 degrees F cooler then my college town (75-80°F vs 105-110°F). I had been hooking up with one but we were casual so I didn't just want to stay there and put a relationship vibe neither of us wanted. But she was very generous and told her two closest friends of a skill I had picked up the previous year that honestly changed my life as things like this happened and I was able to be confident going forward (,40 yo kitchen manager seduced this 28, year old and spent half a year teaching me how to be her perfect oral companion...just to be transferred within the franchise out of town after j figured it out ,:) ). So I flipped from one of three beds. I always started on the couch and had to be invited ..i was s first and not going to tell presume. And I tried to stay no more then 3 or 4 days in one stay. So was I a hobosexusl or an actual compensated sex worker? Because it was pretty obvious my stay was tied to sleeping with them, but also spending a good amount of time at their discretion engaged in that one act. Not that I was complaining . One was wealthy and the other two worked at a pizza place with my best friend, so either actual restaurant meals and home cooked (i cooked) quality or pizza and wings ..was the most memorable summer of my college life. Hobosexual or manwhore? Both,? :)

(Btw. That 40 something kitchen GM started my kink journey. Lots of other stories there)

[Sk****]

43 minutes ago, PresentisPeculiar said:

I hobo'd for a summer back when I was 18. But the women in that circle of couches said it was preferable to me leaving town back to my university city (I was couch surfing my hometown, which is about 30 degrees F cooler then my college town (75-80°F vs 105-110°F). I had been hooking up with one but we were casual so I didn't just want to stay there and put a relationship vibe neither of us wanted. But she was very generous and told her two closest friends of a skill I had picked up the previous year that honestly changed my life as things like this happened and I was able to be confident going forward (,40 yo kitchen manager seduced this 28, year old and spent half a year teaching me how to be her perfect oral companion...just to be transferred within the franchise out of town after j figured it out ,:) ). So I flipped from one of three beds. I always started on the couch and had to be invited ..i was s first and not going to tell presume. And I tried to stay no more then 3 or 4 days in one stay. So was I a hobosexusl or an actual compensated sex worker? Because it was pretty obvious my stay was tied to sleeping with them, but also spending a good amount of time at their discretion engaged in that one act. Not that I was complaining . One was wealthy and the other two worked at a pizza place with my best friend, so either actual restaurant meals and home cooked (i cooked) quality or pizza and wings ..was the most memorable summer of my college life. Hobosexual or manwhore? Both,? :)

(Btw. That 40 something kitchen GM started my kink journey. Lots of other stories there)

Haha, great stuff! Imo, 18-24 year olds (men and women) somewhat get a pass (to a point). We all have growing ***s learning to adult, and when youre young, you absolutely should do some crazy shit, make memories, and get away with it while you can.

being irresponsible, 18, havnt found a direction yet, being someones elses toy for a summer while you figure it out? Feels like winning and freedom?...thats just living your best life, fam.

Being 25+, intentionally choosing bum as a career path and lifestyle? Vices like booze, ***, sex as escapes/coping mechanism, not as fun self-care? Always on the run? Feels like ***ting yourself into a corner of an awkward and uncomfortable circumstance with sketchy people? Lying to people and leading them on to get by? Thats something way, way different, imo.

I guess there is a fine line somewhere, but its clear when someone is well over it.

[ChocolateRopeBunny]

If their first message/comment is something sexually disparaging to me

[ChocolateRopeBunny]

Thursday at 12:43 AM, BabyBoyNate said:

Not read profiles. That, right now, is the biggest red flag to me. I have my profiles filled out. I put in what I am looking for and what I am not looking for. The main things that are a no for me are straight men and anyone under 25 or over 40 years old. A lot of people don't seem to understand either of those. Like, if you can not read a profile, how am I supposed to trust that you will listen to anything that I say?

Oh they understand. They just don't care to respect those boundaries. It's the "well I'm different. You can't mean me" mentality. 😒 It's rather exhausting really.

[En****]

A sub that responds with 'I have no boundaries'

[Sm****]

Hygiene poor hygiene is a quick turn off