Popular Post rl**** Posted August 21 Popular Post Hello! I’m new to the BDSM space. I’ve read a lot of research, and poked around on this site. The idea of sex generally icks me out, and I’m not yet sure where I am on the asexual spectrum (definitely not allosexual). My main interest is in nonsexual spanking. Can anyone who relates tell me about how they found their scene partner/any other tips for an asexual wanting to engage in BDSM?
4R**** Posted August 21 Yes, state it as a limit. There are plenty of Dominants who play non-sexually
ey**** Posted August 21 there's a lot of people both side of the slash who have kink interests but not interest in sex. But this can also be part of boundary discussion with *anyone* - so in your case spanking, "OK, spanking is what I'd like - bare hands is fine, these toys are fine.... genital contact should be avoided... it is just a spanking, no penetration/masturbation/etc"
Sa**** Posted August 21 I'm after very similar, but the sub side. I'm not a sexual, but I'm looking to gain more experience for my Dom side. Mainly tying others in shiabri, spanking, punishment and tasks to complete. I've had success going to munches and explain I'm after non sexual play partners just for those scenarios, also to take pics to build up a portfolio. There is a lot of willing individuals, best advice is find your local munch groups and visit them, maybe frequent a kink club on specific sub or spanking nights, or even put a request for a date on this app stating just whatever you are wanting from it.
po**** Posted August 21 It will all depend on your play partner and what you negotiate in your scene but there’s quite a few club/events that are strictly non-sexual play only (depending on country). I know for me it depends on the where, when and who I’m doing a scene with if it’s a sexual one or not, but with my impact play a lot of it is non-sexual as I find it particularly cathartic in relation to some associated childhood trauma
sh**** Posted August 21 I'm also a kinky ace. I'm not gonna lie it's pretty tough to find someone nearby who's into kink without the sex. But I'm new to this app so maybe there are more like us here!
Di**** Posted August 21 I'm a Dom that has had non sexual relationship subs. It happens and often outside of Dom to hire situations. However I do suggest getting your doms and making sure that you are clear in expressing your boundaries. This is one of the most common reasons I enjoy pro dominatrix work. Ppl feel safer knowing that they paid for a service to actually express what they want out of it.
typhoon2 Posted August 21 Make it plain in your profile so that there are no misunderstandings or grey areas that an unscrupulous Top or Dom might try and exploit. It also makes it clear to those seeking sex that you're not what they're after. Munches and similar events have the dual benefits of showing that you're a real, motivated person and not a potentially-fake profile or wannabe, hiding behind a keyboard, plus are a great opportunity to network. Those present might not be what you're looking for but they might know someone who is, and can put in a good word having met you. Platonic kink is a very real thing. I've played with asexuals, those in chastity and playmates whose partners allow kink but not sex. As long as everything is clearly stated and agreed in advance there is never an issue. They trust me not to breach boundaries, I know where I stand and word spreads that all goes well. If you have any doubts, then play at an organised event where others are present (possibly in earshot from a room with the door closed, if you seek privacy), or arrange for a Spotter (chaperone) to accompany you.
lo**** Posted August 21 Most of my scenes and sessions as a Dom are non sexual.. I was trained that the lifestyle isn't about sex, it's about connection and sensations. I also train my mentees with the same philosophy. But I agree that the best way is to talk with people at munches and seek out those like minded. Also please check fetlife as that is a great resource for connections
Ta**** Posted August 21 Just state that in your profile. If/when someone approaches you with that intent make it clear that isn’t the dynamic you’re seeking. That said, if they press the issue then you should avoid them at all costs because there’s no telling what they may do during a session.
La**** Posted August 21 Dont worry.. people have preference and non sexual submission or domination has always been existed and valid. Be clear with your wants and needs. Make the info available on your profile too. If people trying to coerce you into something you clearly said not into, then they’re just jerks. Move on to the next.
po**** Posted August 21 I totally understand and practice such.. I am quick to put a sub in time out nose in the corner... Or grits, bare knees, hardwood or ceramic tiles floors until they get their act right back
Bl**** Posted August 21 41 minutes ago, BluePhoenix25 said: Not really the app for this but sure I didn't mean to comment on this post , ignore this , i was trying to reply to somebody, best of luck
Sa**** Posted August 21 You might try going out to parties or clubs or something. If you have something in your local area, a lot of nonsensexual, play going on.. might be able to get your fix at the club
H0**** Posted August 21 I think it will take a bit to find the right person for you. I’m personally ok to work without sexual interactions, it’s just a wonderful adder. Plus it allows me to focus on the scene and what the overall intent is. You will also need to have a level of trust and excellent communications.
al**** Posted August 21 I truly hope you can find what you seek. I’m having trouble here too. I am here to make friends and increase my knowledge in Bdsm to become a better submissive but I keep getting incredibly rude backlash from folks saying this is a fetish/hook up site and why am I even here. I’ve been several times that I’m not a real sub since I don’t want to hook up and play. It can be discouraging.
al**** Posted August 21 Just now, aligurl80 said: I truly hope you can find what you seek. I’m having trouble here too. I am here to make friends and increase my knowledge in Bdsm to become a better submissive but I keep getting incredibly rude backlash from folks saying this is a fetish/hook up site and why am I even here. I’ve been several times that I’m not a real sub since I don’t want to hook up and play. It can be discouraging. I’ve been told several times^
H0**** Posted August 21 Just to add, go to a munch and or event. Often at BDSM events there is a group of people playing and a group of people watching.
ro**** Posted August 21 I'm interested in nonsexual bdsm. I hope you find your fit. I've just started and I definitely see the appeal of being a nonsexual Dom so I get you.
nu**** Posted August 21 It's not always about sex.If someone can not be involved without sex every single time,then they are only there for the sex with a twist,I say.It us suppose to be about fulfilling needs of each other and not just one petson.I am not submissive by any means and believe that if I must take my clothes off for the moment to be right or for myself to be fulfilled,then I'm either doing it wrong or with the wrong person.
bi**** Posted August 21 Keep looking there are Doms who will fulfill your spanking kink without sex every time.
Ol**** Posted August 21 Lone Star Spanking Party in November. Google it and attend. Lots of non sexual spanking
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