What’s a non-sexual red flag that instantly makes someone less attractive in kink spaces

[ch****]

Lying about something arbitrary, that doesn't even matter. If they lie about something trivial, then the big stuff is easier to lie about.

[ch****]

3 hours ago, OuroborosBitten said:

People who don't prioritize hygiene

This is a red flag fr

[ch****]

46 minutes ago, violetsoblue said:

Thinking that everything kink is sexual.

Everything is about sex. Except sex, which is about power. Thats not me, its oscar wilde. I don’t disagree with you but I also find a little bit of truth in his quote.

[Tr****]

Not asking for consent, or ignoring consent or refusal of consent….

[Go****]

Not being able to hold a full, continuous, non-sexual conversation.

Coming into my messages with sexual/kink only content.

Not accepting no gracefully, ie ‘no I’m not comfortable showing my photos/sharing my number’ etc - if they can’t accept that no, how are they going to accept if you say no in a more intimate situation?

[Ta****]

Impoliteness,
not respecting working hours,
pushing without reason,
being an incommunivative figure,
not being concerned about the wellfare and wellbeing inside and outside of the private relationship,
driving someone into a state of instability,...

There are so many reasons and ways to provoke a red flag.

[si****]

For me, it's when someone does not fill out their profile. If you can't take the time to fill out your profile, how can I be sure that You are going to take anything seriously? It's just being lazy. Or when they say "just ask me". Profiles are there for a reason. We are all here to find someone who's kink matches up with our kink. Reading a profile that someone has filled out completely, gives me some insight as to where their interests lie and whether or not it aligns with mine.

[Ap****]

You ask a simple question and they dodge. Circular conversation around issues, like safety or consent or anything really. And I'm not talking about stuff that's none of our business but things that should be addressed

[Ad****]

It’s a red flag when people go straight to sexual conversations or asking for explicit photos

[Bi****]

Using someone else’s photographs or sharing photos/videos when play partners have not consented to it.

[Ap****]

10 hours ago, sinfulsub said:

For me, it's when someone does not fill out their profile. If you can't take the time to fill out your profile, how can I be sure that You are going to take anything seriously? It's just being lazy. Or when they say "just ask me". Profiles are there for a reason. We are all here to find someone who's kink matches up with our kink. Reading a profile that someone has filled out completely, gives me some insight as to where their interests lie and whether or not it aligns with mine.

I feel it's sorta shallow for me to want to see pictures, but the now bio is the deep version of that. Let me know who you are. Here or elsewhere, no bio sends me the message "I think you will think I'm hot enough that I don't need a personality."

[Ap****]

*no bio. 😭

[Vi****]

"No limits" is a massive red flag to me. It shows how naive they are and lack of knowledge/safety

[MN****]

For me (44, cis gender male, pansexual) its more about optimization of time spent on apps/chats. The first several years I spent on the kink apps after my divorce I noticed the more or less I had in my bio didnt make a difference for how many replies I got. If I added new pics tho, the app would show me to people and I would get messages. So I focused on trying to make the app work for me.
A red flag for me is: You are having random sex at clubs with men you dont know, but I myself have to prove im safe. I simply dont understand that. Its incredibly insulting

[PresentisPeculiar]

These are for people wanting to explore sub space when talking to a Dom

Any Dom in a BDSM conversation who goes straight toasking about/ discussions of *** and impact play. That's someone who just wants to hurt people. You should have some philosophy where impact play if desired has a reason other than sadism...a purpose and outcome.

If in your first meeting with a dom, they want to restrain you with anything other than an easily slippable or detachable implement

No bio - "ask me,".

Someone who complains how (this group) have too much power on these spaces and won't respond to him, etc

[bunnyboy-3734]

Kink space or not being obsessed about there particular kink or view of the world even if i may be into whatever it is the focus on putting on the green shorts or whatever it is to the exclusion of everything else is a turn-off if someone is really obessed with something im wondering ok why is that .

[Un****]

Monetization.

[od****]

when a guy says something like "none of these women even message me back 😒🙄" immediate no, absolutely not. that's the biggest ick for me 🤢

[La****]

Bad hygiene, no boundaries or disrespecting boundaries, no communication skills, refusing to connect emotionally, refusing to learn or build a healthy teamwork, don’t have any personality/character.

[ra****]

When people scoff at your boundaries it’s def a red flag that will change my heart in an INSTANT

[at****]

Yesterday at 05:55 PM, MNUL said:

For me (44, cis gender male, pansexual) its more about optimization of time spent on apps/chats. The first several years I spent on the kink apps after my divorce I noticed the more or less I had in my bio didnt make a difference for how many replies I got. If I added new pics tho, the app would show me to people and I would get messages. So I focused on trying to make the app work for me.
A red flag for me is: You are having random sex at clubs with men you dont know, but I myself have to prove im safe. I simply dont understand that. Its incredibly insulting

I don’t really understand the connection you’re making between someone choosing to have casual sex in one situation and not wanting to sleep with another person. Those are separate decisions based on attraction, comfort, and consent.
It’s not about consistency or fairness between people, it’s just different choices in different situations. Rejection doesn’t automatically mean something negative about the person — sometimes it’s just preference, sometimes it can be about approach or compatibility, but it isn’t something that has to line up the same way across everyone.
That’s just how I see it, in case it helps make a bit more sense of it .

[Gn****]

Good topic - thanks! For me, someone who doesn't look like they shower or groom much means they probably have a higher likelihood of carrying disease because they dont care about taking care of themselves...why would they take care of me?

[Sk****]

couchsurfing people without a job. AKA hobosexuals. Not judging as Ive been in bad situations, some my fault, some not...but I also didnt use dating as a way to get meals. In fact, I didnt date at all, I focused on me until my shit was back together enough that socializing was a priority. I wouldnt even mind helping people get on their feet because, again, I've been there...but most of them dont even want that, they just want the free ride and just bail if they cant get one. Its worse if theyre using sex as an escape/drug, I dont want to enable bad behavior. Plus, its just hella awkward if i just want sex, and they just want food/shelter...gives me the ick, its NOT the dynamic im looking for. I stop wanting the sex because I dont want to be a creep, and then I just feel like someone's dad sayin 'put down the pipe and get a job'.

[Mi****]

So this may be a little touchy but when I see Harley Quinn pictures or memes. I feel like it’s already time to pump the breaks now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying a healthy stable person can’t like Harley Quinn. I think it’s not a good look when people romanticize a toxic relationship.

[DY****]

Racism or any form of bigotry. Then making any comments about others i.e preferring curvy/slim people, basically putting others down to either build themselves up for grotesquely trying to butter up whomever they’re talking to