Problem staying hard (being vuln@rable)

[Ho****]

So I've experienced this problem with a certain someone where I can't seem to stay hard with her. She's very attractive and I physically want her, but my body is not doing what I need it to. This is the 3rd time I try with her and same thing, i feel like the pressure is building up each time after failing and i *** that it will just add up where its not recoverable.

In contrast, I am also having another partner who is also attractive and my time with her is absolutely fine. Actually more than fine 😅 sometimes lasting 30 to 40 mins a session.

I'm baffled and can't pin point what is the cause of this. I even took V last night (3am) and yeah woke up at 5am stiff by the time we tried i stayed for a bit and then it was gone.

I am not sure what is happening if someone could offer suggestions?

[Gi****]

Anxiety is gonna be the big killer that don't play by easy rules. If you worry you are gonna loose it, you make your *** come true.

Perhaps the second partner has a more emotional connection that you are more relaxed with. Maybe taking a slower approach with the first partner may be the way to go. Take a V then give a massage?

[Be****]

I have some experience with this, pressure can really effect your ability to get and stay hard. I recommend daily hims. The medication I received in hims had me harder more often, not quite like high school but close. And I am harder and have stamina like crazy in this aspect because of hims

[Deleted Member]

It happens to all of us one time or another. The first time it happens it gets in your head and the next time you try to perform thats all you can think about and you lose focus. There's no shame in it, its part of life. I personally can't pinpoint why its happening but its on amd off for me. My anxiety over is gone but everytime is just a role of the dice. I recommend trying out the blue chew. Even if you dont need it everytime its nice to have on hand if you do. Again just dont over think it, dont shame yourself, youre gonna be okay.

[M1****]

Energies don’t match

[M1****]

Sex is a communion, and our nervous systems have limitations - if somethings stopping you from expressing yourself, you don’t feel safe, or your spirit does not not feel spoken to

[Se****]

Oh thats a nasty problem you got there, I had similar issues. The problem is subconscious pressure. What you can do, if she's up to it is: You meet up for sexytime BUT you both agree on that everything (within your limits) can happen except of... "putting the d in her v"
I wouldn't be surprised if taking the necessarity to stay hard and perform, also takes away the pressure to do so.
And it is btw a nice opportunity to learn more about your and your partners desires:)
Good luck, man 👍

[Gi****]

Just now, SecretLord said:

Oh thats a nasty problem you got there, I had similar issues. The problem is subconscious pressure. What you can do, if she's up to it is: You meet up for sexytime BUT you both agree on that everything (within your limits) can happen except of... "putting the d in her v"
I wouldn't be surprised if taking the necessarity to stay hard and perform, also takes away the pressure to do so.
And it is btw a nice opportunity to learn more about your and your partners desires:)
Good luck, man 👍

This is good advice here

[Ka****]

This is a woman’s point of view. Maybe it’s the environment too? I don’t know your situation. I know that when I meet Master, if it’s earlier in the day before the day’s dramas and stresses have weighed him down then he gets ricks hard and stays like that for hours. But if it is later in the evening or wee hours of the morning when he is running in fumes then he may have trouble staying hard. I just assure him that it’s no big deal. That I would be with him whether or not we are having penetrative sex. Then we will just spend that time doing other forms of intimacy. I will give him a full body massage and snuggle him while he sleeps. It’s the act of being together that matters the most. And he always ensures that I am satisfied in some way. Maybe just relax and take @SecretLord’s advice.

[Massageman69]

Use tadalafil in exchange of sildenafil ( V ) . Works longer and better. It's called weekend pill.

[Bl****]

Encountered it for the first time this year after losing my business and having a few of my closest people pass away. Sometimes it just feels like I can't get out of my own head, even if it's for my own good. And like you said, once it happens it's even harder to get out of your head.

[Fo****]

From personal experience, sometimes it’s your subconscious not wanting you to do it. Or call it Divine intervention when in the future you find out something that makes you grateful for not having done it.

[An****]

You need to see what stress is in the way. This could be a mental block. Stop trying to perform and start being in the moment.

[Sc****]

I'm cursed with low T so my good erections are not often.

[Up****]

For me, and this is new to me as well as lf this year. I learned that if there is an emotional bond or even a connection that I really want to invest in, when the vibe gets intimate and the connection stays strong and we are both reassuring each other that things are going great and I’d like to continue I stay rock solid and go for longer than casual sex most times.. but if the sex turns into “just another job” (sex just as sex with everyone else) my empathy becomes too intense or something and it’s like my dude gets his feelings hurt or something I don’t have words for 😂 … so what I discovered is that if I communicate with my partners, let them know that it’s just the way my body feels, it’s not how I feel, I’m not in love or any language even I’m comfortable using, I just feel things and this is the reaction i have when i don’t feel assured mutual enjoyment… so ladies like to hear us get vocal to let them know the same… it goes both ways … some simple moans flick the switch more than physical work and effort.. just a tip

[Di****]

Have you tried a cock ring?

[Ge****]

Invest in a realistic 9" strap on. I did best thing i ever bought. Never gets soft stays hard for hours and brings her to multiple intense orgasms..

[bi****]

Same thing happened to me yesterday. It was the first time and it seemed like I could not keep it for more than 10-15 minutes. Even after the V. Nice to know it’s not only me it happens to.
And I like the advice jer. Definitely give it a try.

[Up****]

Hahaha BigL, if it’s the same as it is for me the sex gets incredible! And the exploration becomes organic and i learned some new things about what I’m into at least with this partner … so truly let me know if that’s the case, it would be nice to if I’m connecting patterns that arent there or if I’m not the only that feels this way

[ra****]

It could be you need stimulation with this particular partner.. I've had it happen were with one partner I was fine and another I wasn't. But once we figured out I needed 4 play and stimulation it was fine

[SE****]

Does she stink? Happens to me when I don’t like the smell

[bi****]

It does get incredible indeed. And absolutely correct. It’s a lot about learning myself more as I’m evolving. It’s definitely mental and when the connection is there it’s amazing. It’s this one partner and she is absolutely gorgeous. But we jumped into it without the mental foreplay.

[Bigbrah77]

Try more foreplay, use a cock ring and penis pump. Let her help that should heighten the excitement.

[Ho****]

Thank you all for the recommendations, definitely some had creative suggestions 😅. I'm sorry that this is a shared experience with some, its frustrating to want to rock someone's world but not being able to. To answer some questions, not tried dick pump or ring yet as I usually dont need them, I have them and could maybe try. Yes I do feel like there is a mental block, its a bit of performance anxiety but also maybe context dependent, as someone suggested.

I will definitely try some of the suggestions and come back with updates next week. Keep the suggestions coming in the meantime.

[Ho****]

47 minutes ago, SER said:

Does she stink? Happens to me when I don’t like the smell

No she does not stink. She actually smells good.