Deleted Member Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 A duty of care. Some of us may read an article, or a thread. Maybe even look at others and how they do things, thinking "that's how it's done." It works for them so it will surely work for me? Surely the way they conduct their relationship/dynamic is a good template for how I should proceed myself? Maybe yes, maybe another's way will fit just fine, maybe not. Maybe the view that deep emotion should be kept out of a relationship/dynamic will be valid for you, but not for me. Who knows as I think many may at times try to fit into a box or label from what they see of others. That's all ok, if that's what one chooses, it's all good if both partners are comfortable, as there really is no right or wrong in how to proceed with two fully informed, and enthusiastic consenting adults. Let's face it, we are all a horny bunch, with our different needs, our different wants. Our different interpretations on how a dynamic/relationship should work, and none is more or less valid than the other. There really is no right or wrong, no boxes or labels we have to keep within, as we are all, every one of us, unique in our special ways, and as such each and every connection can be just as unique. All that really matters really is informed and enthusiastic consent. All that matters is two adults who connect, no matter what that connection can be. It matters not whether your 24/7 or bedroom only. It matters not which skin you wear, or another's protocols, as they don't have to be yours, unless of course you choose this path. Whether you are new wave, old guard, or just a newbie taking your first tentative steps into a slightly scary world, you can be whatever, and whoever you want. Only a few keys things, I think, are key. That of common basic decency, that of a willingness to learn when one may have faltered or mistepped. That of care and affection, which of course can still be displayed in the harshest of ways, it's really up to you and your thing. Your arrangement, your negotiations, your wants and cravings. Boxes and labels of course can help, to find a certain path or direction, but can any of us say we will not evolve when we start peeking into the darkness of who we are? Who knows the person we will be 5 years down the line, or maybe even next month, especially when we see, or hear others views which at times can smack square between ones eyes in simplicity. Yet always, before all, no matter your skin, or label, whatever your path or kink, only one thing really matters;a duty of care. Not just the physical, and not just from a Dominant to a submissive. That shits a two way street, a fact i feel, is a little overlooked at times. There is an exchange from one to another, and within that exchange comes that duty of care, for both, from both.
Deleted Member Posted June 5, 2021 Author Posted June 5, 2021 Thank you DonnyPrimal for your generous description of your thoughts. I have spent years of my life watching how others communicate especially when intimate relationships are involved. For the first 50 years of my life I had no idea that I was autistic and my biggest challenge was trying to understand why I was so different from the people around me. I come from a family that has a history of mental health issues and I believed I was either insane or completely wired backwards. In my ***s I had to recreate a sub personality so that I could simply interact with friends and family. As you can imagine it was extremely exhausting and I was confused with my random thoughts and anxiety gave me a huge drive to somehow find peace. I finally found peace with a Woman who was 15 years my senior, she was a very strong survivor of childhood trauma and she had a daughter who had cerebral palsy. I had survived trauma and my brother has cerebral palsy so we clicked and we stayed together for 10 years. I was loved and needed and that gave me a confidence that I’m not a ***y lunatic and I can just be myself and relax. The past year has been an awful situation for all of us but my God it brought so many of the fetish community together. I have made more friends and have had support that has made me cry floods of positive tears and I hope that I have helped some through the really dark times. We all want happiness and satisfaction and that takes time and patience with one another. A duty of care should be equally spread between physical care and mental care. If you cut someone’s skin during play then make sure you have thought about reducing the chances of infection with cleaning and covering the wound. Be open . Be flexible. Be aware. Be sensitive . Be brave and happiness will come and find you. Peace and love
Fe**** Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 Awesome post my friend!🙏........being 'free -from labels' , has been a long arduous journey, & dangerous!.........being 'most excellent to one another ' has a simplicity, n .....depth. Honoured to read this🙏🙏🙏
Fe**** Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 @TARROT, your words shine a light of radiance on the amazing person you are!🙏🙏 We is Tribe🙌 Humbled to know you ,bigtribeVibe🐺🐤🙏
MsDrawers Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 When someone bares their dark and dirty soul to you, you ought to cherish it no matter how they identify...
Deleted Member Posted June 5, 2021 Author Posted June 5, 2021 My love is here for you all, When it’s my turn to fall I’ll leave you all my bones 🦴 lol ❤️🙏💋
Deleted Member Posted June 5, 2021 Author Posted June 5, 2021 3 hours ago, KontraryKink said: When someone bares their dark and dirty soul to you, you ought to cherish it no matter how they identify... Sadly thats not always the case though.
MsDrawers Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 4 minutes ago, DonnyPrimal said: Sadly thats not always the case though. Don't I know it x
kinkster_dom959 Posted June 5, 2021 Posted June 5, 2021 Yes. It totally true. It’s a two way communication. The best part of the lifestyle is that one gets to open up with each other, honestly communicate about their likes and dislikes w/o being judged by the moral compass. It has definitely helped me. Once you are able to communicate openly, a lot of things like trust, care, etc. falls into place. Again everyone evolves and grows to be a different person so always try to take that in stride. Keeping an open mind to learning, evolving is the key.
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