Etiquette on profile viewing

[Da****]

19 minutes ago, Brea1608 said:

I also think that a lot of the ones that do start of conversations that way and immediately get nasty in my messages are the "fake doms". No real Dom would jump in my messages talking that way, telling me they're my daddy now, etc. I'll block a lot of them that do it, but I always look at their profile first before blocking. You can tell just by their profile they're only here because they have a certain expectation or opinion that people that are into bdsm must be freaks and want to be talked to that way. 🙄

Yes exactly i had someone i had to block the opening message had me so thrown off i had to read it a couple of times. The “fake doms” have become easier and easier to spot mostly because they don’t ask questions and they jump right into it and i’m like whoa back up a minute

[Sq****]

I'll be even more open about our experiences; Squirrel will NOT engage with our inbox, unless I relay to her that there's someone asking a valid question and her perspective or input would be helpful. I have to screen the messages we get due to some experiences she's had and I'm okay with that, I've been around long enough that it doesn't phase me. Not everyone has that luxury. I've seen her personal inbox on her previous individual account and some of the worst passed on by friends. I'm well aware of whats perceived as normal and that was a huge factor in us joining accounts. She can peacefully and freely address kink without all of that baggage.

[Si****]

I assume that anyone who sends me a message that doesn’t align with my clear boundaries on my profile is doing so on purpose and wants a lesson in behavior and etiquette

[Sq****]

2 minutes ago, SirensSorrows said:

I assume that anyone who sends me a message that doesn’t align with my clear boundaries on my profile is doing so on purpose and wants a lesson in behavior and etiquette

There are some intentionally fishing for unconsenting ***. But, they become easy to spot. Simply passing on them is more efficient than catering to it.

[DA****]

I appreciate this topic. I'm reading listing. I can be slow sometimes, that being said it's not intentional. I want to know what the community's view is honestly.

[Sq****]

2 minutes ago, DARKERn said:

I appreciate this topic. I'm reading listing. I can be retarded sometimes, that being said it's not intentional. I want to know what the community's view is honestly.

You'll probably have a significantly better time learning appropriate etiquette. We're all human, we all make mistakes, read situations wrong, or get too excited. Growing is part of it. I appreciate you trying to learn.

[Si****]

I never said I degraded anyone. I simply state the behavior and etiquette they should be displaying. The majority of men in my inbox are not looking for ***, they’re simply misinformed boys who think women who are kinky are easy and are hoping for an easy hookup. They learn quickly to look elsewhere. I’ve been blocked more times than I’ve had to block people 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Sq****]

3 minutes ago, SirensSorrows said:

I never said I degraded anyone. I simply state the behavior and etiquette they should be displaying. The majority of men in my inbox are not looking for ***, they’re simply misinformed boys who think women who are kinky are easy and are hoping for an easy hookup. They learn quickly to look elsewhere. I’ve been blocked more times than I’ve had to block people 🤷🏻‍♀️

Extremely fair, my apologies for misinterpreting.

[DA****]

@@Squirrelandwrangler nbsp;i totally agree.

[Fu****]

If you dont like something, block and move on

[Sq****]

1 minute ago, FuriouslyNick said:

If you dont like something, block and move on

What does that have to do with the etiquette portion of the conversation?

[Fu****]

Who are you to decide what is and isnt acceptable etiquette? See, you bore me, so im going to block you, its easy

[Sq****]

2 minutes ago, FuriouslyNick said:

Who are you to decide what is and isnt acceptable etiquette? See, you bore me, so im going to block you, its easy

Well that escalated to unstable quickly. Thank goodness you did. I think you just rein***d why that kind of etiquette is frowned upon.

[Sq****]

On that note, I'm not going to respond to each comment from this point on but will continue to read anything that comes up.

There really isn't a counter argument to justify those approaches, I admit it was fairly loaded in presentation but that was also the point. If you're new, please just be respectful with presenting yourself to another person and respect their posted limits.

We don't claim to set the standards for etiquette, but when there's no valid arguments to justify ridiculous approaches then it's pretty significant food for thought on how you should choose to approach someone and come up with your own boundaries, even for yourself.

Any and all are welcome to reach out beyond this point to us for questions, feedback, or perspective. Thank you for discussing this with us.

[Fe****]

Thanks for the info, I’m new but definitely too gentle for any of that BS. Peach and love ✌️❤️

[St****]

Regardless of the reasoning for sending a message, it is never okay to jump straight in to someone's DM and be predatory, rude or disrespectful. And as for the open forum and free s***ch bullshit, there are rules to abide by also.

[Un****]

In my profile, I clearly ask that anyone messaging me to refrain from being disrespectful or projecting their fantasies onto me. This is especially true of anyone messaging me for the first time. Sadly, too often either they are bad at reading comprehension and/or simply ignore the request.

[li****]

They do indeed confuse we checking their profiles with consent. To me it makes no sense cause I check the profiles of hundreds of people out of curiosity, not because I'm specifically interested in them.
But there's not much that can be done apart from adjusting your filters so that only few people can message you. Talking with them is pointless. They truly don't care.

[Daddybrains]

Each person responds differently; any message you send is a gamble. Gambling that the recipient will respond well to disgusting or overly forward initial contact implies, to me, a predatory mindset with no regard for the people who aren’t your match.

I do believe, though, that “crushing” on a person on this site should be treated as consent to a (respectful) initial contact, even if the person you crushed on is outside your filters. The site doesn’t allow that.

[Br****]

Because a guy thought I viewed his profile, he just sent me this. Copy/pasted the exact message-

"I hope your day is as beautiful as you are 😍

You think you could handle my ✊🏻 in your 🍑😈😏

Maybe I get to restrain your hands, and make you suck my cock until your eyes are watering. I love aggression, being in control and dominating. I want to cum in you multiple times. I want you to feel my cock throbbing inside you when I cum

Daddy likes to be in control of his little. You deserve to be spoiled along with special attention. Daddy also makes the rules, there is discipline that occurs if you can’t behave. Daddy is stern, compassionate, yet caring enough to know that he’ll wipe away your tears when you need him the most"

This was my response. Normally I just block them, but not today. After I sent this to him though, I blocked him. 🤷‍♀️🙄 What a douche.

"First of all, you're not a real Dom. You're 100% fake. No REAL Dom would EVER talk to a sub they've never even introduced themselves to in such a way. Second of all honorifics like "daddy", "sir", "master", etc. are earned. You don't just get to call yourself my daddy without consent. Speaking of consent, maybe try to get some before you write stuff like this to a lady. Smh. I feel bad for whatever poor newer to the lifestyle sub falls for your bullshit."

[Sq****]

43 minutes ago, Brea1608 said:

Because a guy thought I viewed his profile, he just sent me this. Copy/pasted the exact message-

"I hope your day is as beautiful as you are 😍

You think you could handle my ✊🏻 in your 🍑😈😏

Maybe I get to restrain your hands, and make you suck my cock until your eyes are watering. I love aggression, being in control and dominating. I want to cum in you multiple times. I want you to feel my cock throbbing inside you when I cum

Daddy likes to be in control of his little. You deserve to be spoiled along with special attention. Daddy also makes the rules, there is discipline that occurs if you can’t behave. Daddy is stern, compassionate, yet caring enough to know that he’ll wipe away your tears when you need him the most"

This was my response. Normally I just block them, but not today. After I sent this to him though, I blocked him. 🤷‍♀️🙄 What a douche.

"First of all, you're not a real Dom. You're 100% fake. No REAL Dom would EVER talk to a sub they've never even introduced themselves to in such a way. Second of all honorifics like "daddy", "sir", "master", etc. are earned. You don't just get to call yourself my daddy without consent. Speaking of consent, maybe try to get some before you write stuff like this to a lady. Smh. I feel bad for whatever poor newer to the lifestyle sub falls for your bullshit."

That's predatory beyond words. Interactions like this and the consequences if they do get ahold of a newbie is exactly why education and etiquette are so important for safety. Thank you for sharing that, I hope it helps someone know what to avoid if they are unfamiliar of helps someone realize how wrong their approach truly is.

[ey****]

On 7/9/2026 at 10:27 PM, SquirrelandWrangler said:

 

I don't disagree with your input on it, this was geared specifically at the ones taking an unsavory approach to that initial message. Not directed at someone respectfully engaging off of a mutual view or any other sort of circumstances unfolding from this.

Now, a lot of people don't like the whole "notify others if I view their profile" reason for assorted reasons 

And one of the reasons is just that, that often the other person will then take that as an invitation to message - I guess, for example with any kinda interactions it's difficult to second guess the other person - but "they took that I'd visited their profile as a reason they thought I'd be interested" I feel can be a vibe

and I aint saying it's wrong or right 

Sometimes, when people check me out - sometimes, if they're local, I then check them out.  And often it's very clear from reading their profile that they and I would not be what we're both looking for, which is a good reason they didn't message 

[Si****]

Thursday at 09:14 PM, Dante_88 said:

The counter argument is that this is an OPEN forum platform. Don’t want a bunch of messages, change your filters and your message requirements (like text length for example). In the meantime, get over it.

It’s not about the number of messages or filtering for age, location, sex, and message length. It’s about people sending highly aggressive sexual comments. Based on this comment are you one of the guys who immediately tells a woman you’re going to *** fuck her face? Did you know that depending on the state you’re in sending an unsolicited sexual message or dick pic can land you in legal trouble?