"Likes"....

[Deleted Member]

Hey...so I'm being controversial but I want to know in general....why is that there is a proliferation of men giving "likes" to women  but in contrast, hardly any going the opposite direction.  I've checked out some of the most popular men on this site and even they don't have as many likes as the "mid range " woman. What's going on?? Is my perception wrong?? Or do guys press 'like' more than women?? Interested to hear your thoughts guys....

[leighbratscamper]

In Bdsm in general there tends to be alot more men then women, so the ratio of likes is on men's to woman's pictures is gong to be more.

[Deleted Member]

I think in this you need to understand how the female brain differs from the male brain. Where the male brain is in the most part visually stimulated a female brain is more detail stimulated as a male brain is more things based a female brain is people based. I’m not saying this is a blanket view as we are all individuals and the variations that come with that. I know there are many other reasons for this for the same reason that generally women don’t send the first message especially from a Ds perspective.

[Deleted Member]

Good question GsxDom4.

There's a scarcity issue online. The gender ratio causes a strange dynamic to form. There's a popular HOOKUP site for married people which famously had 20million men and 15k women a few years ago...

Also, I'm part of a popular dating site where the owner messages subscribers basically saying last year the site had 8% women and 12% this year and he'd like to access a female audience. The ads budget is $100k a month and he's struggling to spend it.

Its more complicated than that but on face value, ratios are a key problem.

[Si****]

Men are impressed by what they see and women what they hear.
This is why men lie and women wear make up 🤣

[Deleted Member]

Because if a woman likes a photo, the man interprets it as "i want you now, please message me inappropriately NOW". Or something like that...

[Deleted Member]

11 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Because if a woman likes a photo, the man interprets it as "i want you now, please message me inappropriately NOW". Or something like that...

I was just about to say something similar. Maybe admin should add a setting so people's 'likes' can be anonymous. People can show the love without getting the attention if they choose.

[Du****]

“Mid range women”. Just… wow

[ey****]

because - men hit like for lots of reasons from "hey that's a nice picture" to "please notice me" - interestingly, men don't seem to like a lot of photos from other men.... 

women on the other hand... "if I hit like on this picture he's going to message me asking when we're meeting to fuck, isn't he" because of previous experiences...

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, DuchessFeuille said:

“Mid range women”. Just… wow

I missed that before. Um. 😲

[qu****]

As a general rule men think differently to it than women, pressing like is one thing but a lot of comments posted on photos are of contact details( not allowed on site) or of a more sexual nature, normally proving they haven't even read the profile

[MartynMentor]

I had a completely different take on the 'why woman don't press like as often', then reading KinkySirXxX and Curvykate's opinions and with a heavy heart I'm in agreement with them. It's is most likely a practice defence against encouraging inappropriate behaviour by my fellow man!! As a whole men can evolve but it will always be those couple of random idiots that will be remembered, damage done. Though inappropriate behaviour is appalling and to be challenged, I see lack of education and awareness as key. A 'newbie' to BDSM accesses a sub/Dom pornos on the web. Very producers show preproduction meets/greets and boundaries being set, even fewer demonstrating actual aftercare. Though some do have post production interviews showing smiling joyful subs. So it is not really surprising that 'Joe Bloggs' seeing action highlights of a few BDSM scenes gets the completely wrong idea of the power dynamics and joins a BDSM dating site and acts accordingly. So we as a community are creating this 'beast', question is what's the solution? Oupps a little off topic there x

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, DuchessFeuille said:

“Mid range women”. Just… wow

Haha I know!  I couldn't think of anything else.  Sorry! 

[ey****]

there isn't a shortage of information out there.

there's relatively little excuse.   

I'm bored of the "let's blame porn" - because we know, for example, action movies and superhero movies also aren't "real" 

there has been a case and argument for more sex education within schools and to include pornography in that - but of course there's plenty of people kick back against that.  and that to me is one of the big problems that too many countries do not do enough sex education

in saying that - there is plenty of information freely available - moreso these days than ever before - there's pretty much zero excuse for people just jumping in two-footed - and - when there are those that do get to a bad start, when they soon realise their preconceptions were wrong - there's two ways to go.  Not enough take the "so let's find the information that is freely available on how I should behave" 

[Deleted Member]

54 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there isn't a shortage of information out there.

there's relatively little excuse.   

I'm bored of the "let's blame porn" - because we know, for example, action movies and superhero movies also aren't "real" 

there has been a case and argument for more sex education within schools and to include pornography in that - but of course there's plenty of people kick back against that.  and that to me is one of the big problems that too many countries do not do enough sex education

in saying that - there is plenty of information freely available - moreso these days than ever before - there's pretty much zero excuse for people just jumping in two-footed - and - when there are those that do get to a bad start, when they soon realise their preconceptions were wrong - there's two ways to go.  Not enough take the "so let's find the information that is freely available on how I should behave" 

I'm with eyem on this. And I'm aghast that anyone could claim that there are just "a couple of idiots". All you need to do is look at the forum to find posts about the *** people receive on here. Not that Fetish is any different from other apps or sites. I do think sexed is important but also parents need to be having the conversations. I am trying right now to speak to my kids about consent. What we see here is what exists in the wider world. Misogyny. Society needs to change.

[Mz****]

I can only speak for myself,  but I rarely, if ever hit like on pictures of people I don't know or haven't interacted with however much I actually like an image..as mentioned by others, oftentimes.. as in almost always, its seen as an approach..not just as an appreciation of the picture itself, and after a few bad experiences I simply stopped..I don't want to be seen as gross or predatory, as a cougar or an easy fuck, nor do I want to invite disgusting entitled comments on my own pictures simply for liking someone else's which unfortunately is the "feedback" I've received.

[Deleted Member]

Seem we all generally agree that tracable 'likes' are a key component in disproportionately turning women (perhaps other genders) off posting pictures and not wanting to show general appreciation of a picture due to the backlash and unwanted attention:

there's a good argument to anonymise them in some way.

People have plenty of ways to hook up through leaving traces on a profile after viewing it or spanks for example.

It would address a big power imbalance between the genders.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, MzJax said:

I can only speak for myself,  but I rarely, if ever hit like on pictures of people I don't know or haven't interacted with however much I actually like an image..as mentioned by others, oftentimes.. as in almost always, its seen as an approach..not just as an appreciation of the picture itself, and after a few bad experiences I simply stopped..I don't want to be seen as gross or predatory, as a cougar or an easy fuck, nor do I want to invite disgusting entitled comments on my own pictures simply for liking someone else's which unfortunately is the "feedback" I've received.

I like lots of pics here. It's just my way of showing appreciation, particularly the ones that are well staged or professionally taken. It always feels like the least I can do. I may have to look twice next time I'm tempted. Hate the idea of it being seen as letchy or predatory in some way.

[Du****]

16 minutes ago, KinkySirXxX said:

Seem we all generally agree that tracable 'likes' are a key component in disproportionately turning women (perhaps other genders) off posting pictures and not wanting to show general appreciation of a picture due to the backlash and unwanted attention:

there's a good argument to anonymise them in some way.

People have plenty of ways to hook up through leaving traces on a profile after viewing it or spanks for example.

It would address a big power imbalance between the genders.

I would say it’s good argument for (usually) men to change their behaviour, not for (usually) women to have to find ways to protect themselves. Where have I heard that before? 🤔

[Deleted Member]

Had to add that I'm a "mid range" kinda man to my profile.

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I would say it’s good argument for (usually) men to change their behaviour, not for (usually) women to have to find ways to protect themselves. Where have I heard that before? 🤔

I agree. But whilst there's choice in how people behave there really isn't choice in how people can like something without leaving a trace. An option to do so would at least even the odds.
Worth pointing out that I've received unwanted attention from likingmen and women's pics before - so it not completely a one aided situation. This whole community is built on an ideal of choice and acceptance.

[Mz****]

12 minutes ago, KinkySirXxX said:

I like lots of pics here. It's just my way of showing appreciation, particularly the ones that are well staged or professionally taken. It always feels like the least I can do. I may have to look twice next time I'm tempted. Hate the idea of it being seen as letchy or predatory in some way.

Just to be clear, I'm not suggesting for one moment that liking a picture makes someone a predator or sex pest or anything else..I am only referencing my own experiences here, for example I love strong shoulders, most pictures of that nature here seem to belong to Doms, I liked two on the same day, both messaged me to thank me for the like, nice manners and shoulders I thought and said in my reply..nothing else... the response to which from one was " you'll love this you fucking slut" (this came with a rather pathetic limp dick picture that frankly I doubt could fuck anything), and the second informed me that as his bitch I could expect to spend the rest of my life on my knees gagging on his unclean cock..needless to say, neither got a response.. and I'm Domme, God knows what female s types get in their inbox! That's just 2 examples, unfortunately I have dozens.

I'm not sure making likes anonymous will work, in fact, it might be kinda creepy, it's bad enough as a free member not knowing who's visiting, having no way to monitor who's liking means I can't stop unwelcome repeat visitors, and of course likes give me an indication if someone's active on the site, let's me get a quick overview before I bother to go to the profile..age, location, etc..because that's another thing, even just visiting a profile can be problematic.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, ChromeDom said:

Had to add that I'm a "mid range" kinda man to my profile.

I thought you had and went looking 😆

[Mz****]

15 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I thought you had and went looking 😆

Wish I knew exactly what mid range meant..Looks are so subjective one person's beauty is another's munter and vice versa, and I don't know if the OP meant looks, the profile, the combination of both or just the volume of likes ie lots of likes, mid range of likes or no likes? 🤷‍♀️

And you saved me a look too.. thank you 😉

[Deleted Member]

13 minutes ago, MzJax said:

Wish I knew exactly what mid range meant..Looks are so subjective one person's beauty is another's munter and vice versa, and I don't know if the OP meant looks, the profile, the combination of both or just the volume of likes ie lots of likes, mid range of likes or no likes? 🤷‍♀️

And you saved me a look too.. thank you 😉

Well I thought it meant a woman who is not stunning but also not ugly. But you're right. It's in the eye of the beholder. I've had men call me things that I cannot see when I look in the mirror and quite frankly I think it's because they want sex. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So I shall happily place myself mid-range.