The part of submission people rarely talk about

[To****]

I’ve noticed something over the years.

A lot of people talk about giving control, rules, obedience and the dynamic itself.

But I’m curious about something else.

What is the part of submission that most people don’t understand until they actually experience it?

Not the fantasy. Not the labels.

The thing that surprised you the most when you truly trusted someone.

[Peyton-6240]

That when I finally trusted them and trusted in being submissive that the whole world relax and was full only pleasure and everything else fades away except in the moment

[El****]

When a partner can't handle being gazed at with desire. I've often heard and seen shyness envelope them right before my eyes. It's a shame some people have never felt it in their lives.

[DV****]

Sometimes when you’re with someone and they’re early into learning how to Dom and can see them starting to enjoy it and express themselves more

[al****]

The need for aftercare to combat sub-drop.

[Do****]

The zone that a sub can get into, like a meditative state, completely letting go, zoning out, on a different level…. And then seeing them come back out of it. Yes that’s when aftercare is very much needed. But it’s amazing to see how much their mind is blown by it all when they experience that.

[El****]

The part you give yourself over 100% over to a dom and they ***d their power. A sub can go through extreme psychological and emotional *** being new and eager to surrender. Some get addicted to the push and pull without realizing how toxic and ***ful it is. Some find their way out and learn boundaries because of it.

To the men and women who get angry at subs with strong boundaries and specific preferences. You might want to realize, some bad to break before getting to a place they want to surrender again.

[Di****]

It is the small things. Like sending photos of water or food. A lot of newer into the scene do not realize that the sub is the one with the control. Even if the dom is doing the leading.

[ey****]

I'd echo on things like subspace, subdrop and sub-frenzy - these are things that can be difficult to understand unless you've been there

But another which is often a lightbulb moment - like, mosts subs... well... it's a catch-all term which covers a lot of dynamics.  And.... sometimes subs realise that this is just someone acting out their fantasies for them, and, sometimes, then move closer and closer to submission..... 

[Mi****]

I can share from the dom side. For me it wasn't something she said, it was something I started noticing happen in real time. Wanting to please someone that badly and actually trusting them can look exactly the same from the outside, and for a while even from the inside. You only find out which one it actually was afterward, when you see whether she could still say no in that moment or whether yes had just quietly turned into a reflex.

[al****]

2 hours ago, ElaineSometimes said:

The part you give yourself over 100% over to a dom and they ***d their power. A sub can go through extreme psychological and emotional *** being new and eager to surrender. Some get addicted to the push and pull without realizing how toxic and ***ful it is. Some find their way out and learn boundaries because of it.

To the men and women who get angry at subs with strong boundaries and specific preferences. You might want to realize, some bad to break before getting to a place they want to surrender again.

Definitely this too.

[Ro****]

I think my moment was the when I learned I can be *** and safe as the sub. Before I had explored it, several years ago, without realizing it, I always was on the offensive as a person who equated vulnerability with danger. Finding a dominant I could completely trust rewired how I experience safety.