A top lass.

[Deleted Member]

A friend, a natural submissive, my first real encounter. A woman who for various reasons left the scene about 18 months ago to go seek a vanilla life, tired of the misogynistic and entitled behaviour of many "Men" especially over the last few years. A woman who found love in vanilla, and is now happy, settled, a woman who I call a friend, and has helped me so much, especially when I first arrived to understand the truth of who I was, helped guide me. A woman who in return I help understand the vanilla world, something she had no experience of, were chatting yesterday. As is our way the convo was totally open and honest, and she said something that really hit home about expectations, and one of the reasons she felt the kinky world was no longer for her. A woman I feel was driven out, ***d to look elsewhere for that most valuable of things:happiness. With her permission I will share a little, as it really did have a profound affect, and may in some way resonate with others.

 

I quote.

 

Funny old world really 

Need to put effort in ……… but not too much

Be loyal ……….but not clingy 

Be open………… but not over share 

Be submissive………… but not so much that there is no challenge 

Be *** …………but strong

Be capable…………. But not emasculating

Be slim ………but have curves

I could go on and on🤦🏼‍♀️🤣🤣

[Deleted Member]

I feel this. I lost my love because of my kink. And I've given up on a d/s relationship because I just don't seem to fit the mould. But entitled and misogynistic are in the vanilla world just as much. We all have to find our place and I'm glad your friend found hers.

[Deleted Member]

I understand this too well And your quote is perfect

And I agree the males have become hyper aggressive and lack of knowledge or really don’t care and it becoming more and more terrifying and horrific with how the male mind works they will try to do anything to get with someone for example I meant a trans person (don’t get me wrong I have no issues with gender identity) but when you are a full blown male with a bread and refuse to shave it or actually be the part of a female you are apart of this problem

Bdsm is supposed to be a safe place for people of all genders (18+) ages. Kinks etc but because the lack of knowledge and information or the arrogance makes it. Dangerous and unsafe

Yes I was lucky and fell in love with and married my best friend/submissive wife but she has told me about her negative experience in the past and this was way before 50 shades and the internet blew up with online dating

In the end it is about what makes you happy and what makes. You move forward

We wish you the best of luck 🤞 and for anyone and everyone who reads this your are amzing beautiful handsome and intelligent ! 

[Th****]

You know this is shockingly accurate in a lot of cases which is a sad indictment of what some of our community have made their expectations.

I am not sure I have ever started a relationship on any of these basis's, chemistry, friendship, and that certain indefinable something. Yes, all of these, but be strong as you are, the size you are. Let's face it if you can't be your authentic self with your Dominant then in all honesty what is the point.

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, Thebian said:

Yes, all of these, but be strong as you are, the size you are. Let's face it if you can't be your authentic self with your Dominant then in all honesty what is the point.

Exactly mate, and sadly many seem to have a checklist of what one should be, and that can and does include both sides of the slash, rather than looking at the actual human being, which really for me, should be the first thing one investigates.

[pi****]

Interesting comments....unfortunately any sites where people commune to share their most intimate selves will obviously attract the wrong elements. We can only hope that those who use the sites as a means of self gratification without any empathy towards the genuine needs others will be weeded out or ignored.