Is honesty or being upfront a lost art?

[Sc****]

I'm newer to the game, 2.5 years in. I've learned a lot and still so much to learn.

Like proper etiquette for my situation which admittedly is not ideal.

"Married" in document only. The marriage is over. We're separated by 9.5 hours without stops. We've agreed to see other people as our needs arise.

The question is.... Do I not share it openly and upfront on my profile? I know I am not readily sharing photos but after conversation and time I share.

Would you rather know upfront or no?

Just a question that is running through my head.

[Gy****]

I think being transparent and upfront is awesome and the only way to be!

[Slats]

Always be upfront.

[Ni****]

I want to know upfront. I'm also married and don't hide what I'm doing from my husband.

[Sa****]

Always upfront. In this area of intrests, it’s ultimately easier to have a conversation if the immediate facts are available

[70****]

Just be up front, there’s people that don’t mind the situation as long as they’re advised before going into it.

[Sc****]

Thanks for the encouragement!!

[TEAM_UP_FOR_MAGIC]

I think you might be making your status a much bigger deal than it really is i.e. a large percentage of us have been in exactly the same situation and we all understand. Personally, I do not care if it is on your profile or not. But if you don't put your status on your profile, I would suggest that you explain the situation right out of the gate. I really don't think most men will give a shit eighter way, except I am sure some men look for still married, lonely women in or just out of a lifeless marriage (wildkats in bed) And consent and disclosure are always (or at least usually) better when you make it sexy, maybe a first communication that goes like this: Hi there, i am scar....I need to feel a degree of connection or attraction first.....WARNING I am at the tail end of a lifeless, sexless, affectionless marriage so there really is no telling what is going to happen......if you think you are man enough to handle 9 years worth of pent-up desire, craving and overpowering lust, prove it: I am making up for the past 9 years starting yesterday so let's not play games.....message me telling me where you are goiing to take me for a drink to see if we click? After the previous 9 years that is leadubg ti an opportunity to get together, THE LAST THING I WANT IS A DUD so your message should also include you telling me in graphic, red-hot-sexy detail how you are planning to unleash your inner-caveman to fuck me like you mean it ....and then again....and then again t Something like that makes you fully disclosed and sets the tone for exactly what everyone wants after a 9 year lifeless marriage BEST OF LUCH AND STAY ADVENTUROUS (BUT SAFE)

[al****]

This would to me at least feel very disengenuines if not in the profile or talked about very soon

[ro****]

I say share what makes you feel comfortable enough to chat openly. Some people love it, some a hard no and others indifferent. I’m from the camp that people will benefit by being themselves and letting others who are interested in their pov gravitate to them.

[cellofello]

I firmly believe in putting any potential dealbreakers in the profile. For some people, your situation will be a hard limit, whether for religious reasons or prudential ones (e.g., worries about a husband _violently_ disagreeing with the idea that the marriage is over). If you were to hide it, you'd be wasting both your time and theirs entering a conversation that will end abruptly once the situation is revealed.

[ey****]

5 hours ago, ScarletRubi said:

The question is.... Do I not share it openly and upfront on my profile? I know I am not readily sharing photos but after conversation and time I share.

yes

mention you are married but here with partners knowledge and consent

if there is a distance explain that, so that you could be seeing someone locally regularly.

[Li****]

I would just say legally married but separated pending divorce?

[Da****]

There are many who have been going through a lot of confusing situations . Estranged, yet to be divorced, open relationships which isn’t very open, separated, (fed up of each other and need thrill, married without passion, not married but can’t get separated either — I can go on .
Sometimes things just need to be simple and stupid . Just keep it honest, open and without drama. Those who understand will understand you …

[Go****]

I’d rather know upfront. Not because being legally married automatically makes the situation a problem, but because honesty gives the other person the ability to decide what they’re comfortable with. “Separated, marriage is over, and we’ve mutually agreed we’re free to see other people” tells me what I actually need to know.

If anything, being transparent about a complicated situation builds more trust than trying to explain it after a connection has already developed. The right person won’t be scared away by honesty—they’ll appreciate that you respected them enough to give them the full picture from the beginning.

[Vo****]

Definately honest and upfront. There is always ways around a situation, but I would want to know from the start

[ph****]

Honesty is not supposed to be a lost art; not here anyway.

[So****]

There’s so much fake women on here or women that expect you to send them *** up front so they can hook up w you I ain’t the one.Why would I send you anything I don’t know you that’s why as soon as they ask for *** I screenshot it and report them

[ey****]

mind

"lost art" would suggest it was an art in the first place

guys have misled people about their marriage/relationship status since the dawn of history 

[Lo****]

Sounds like the status „separated but still married”🤷🏼‍♀️ same as being single. I’d mention it, but why making a big deal out of it? It would only be interesting if you want to marry another person, right?
I love being upfront and transparent and I expect that from my partner/s as well.
But I always differentiate what is important to share from the start and what isn’t 😉

[sn****]

Find your person .you'll never cheat or have to look anywhere else

[Wo****]

I have it in my profile and I make sure whoever I chat with, that shows promise, reads it, absorbs it, and asks any questions they need to be comfortable with the dynamic they are stepping into. Upfront honesty, all the way. If they cannot handle it, my conscience is clear. I do not lie, and I do not hide.

[Wo****]

9 hours ago, TEAM_UP_FOR_MAGIC said:

I think you might be making your status a much bigger deal than it really is i.e. a large percentage of us have been in exactly the same situation and we all understand. Personally, I do not care if it is on your profile or not. But if you don't put your status on your profile, I would suggest that you explain the situation right out of the gate. I really don't think most men will give a shit eighter way, except I am sure some men look for still married, lonely women in or just out of a lifeless marriage (wildkats in bed) And consent and disclosure are always (or at least usually) better when you make it sexy, maybe a first communication that goes like this: Hi there, i am scar....I need to feel a degree of connection or attraction first.....WARNING I am at the tail end of a lifeless, sexless, affectionless marriage so there really is no telling what is going to happen......if you think you are man enough to handle 9 years worth of pent-up desire, craving and overpowering lust, prove it: I am making up for the past 9 years starting yesterday so let's not play games.....message me telling me where you are goiing to take me for a drink to see if we click? After the previous 9 years that is leadubg ti an opportunity to get together, THE LAST THING I WANT IS A DUD so your message should also include you telling me in graphic, red-hot-sexy detail how you are planning to unleash your inner-caveman to fuck me like you mean it ....and then again....and then again t Something like that makes you fully disclosed and sets the tone for exactly what everyone wants after a 9 year lifeless marriage BEST OF LUCH AND STAY ADVENTUROUS (BUT SAFE)

I absolutely love this! This is a much better way of laying it out than my approach. I never know how to transition from that heavy conversation back to the sexy banter.

[an****]

I put it on my bio that way it was very clear. I value honesty and i don't want to waste time. Then when I start talking to someone, I will explain the situation a bit more.

[Wa****]

Yes unfortunately it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack now days like a women that isn't trying to get *** out of you from the start instead of getting to know someone actually