Another lonely night

[gr****]

I stare at the screen for what must be the hundredth time today.
I’ve done nothing productive. Not for the first time in weeks, but for the first time in weeks, I’ve done nothing at all. No work. No drawing. No writing. No people.
And still, I find myself staring at the screen again, as if someone will suddenly appear on the other side of it and take me away from this melancholy that has settled over me.
I don't even know what I'm waiting for.
Maybe a message. Maybe a distraction. Maybe someone to remind me that there is still a world beyond these four walls.
But no one comes.
So I sit here, watching the light from the screen spill across the room, letting the hours pass without asking anything of them.
There is something strange about being alone after spending so much time trying to keep everything together.
In the shattered ruins that were my life, I find a peace in being alone.
Not happiness.
Not sadness, either.
Just peace.
And for tonight, perhaps that is enough.

[FL****]

Yep, I went from 23 years of having somebody in my life at all times to nothing at all for almost 2 years. I know exactly how that feels. It’s fucking sucks.

[aa****]

I know what you mean

[jinxed]

Unpopular opinion: Even with people around, ultimately we're alone with these brains of ours that have not adapted to the way we live life today, in a world where success isn't reached through working together but only through self-preservation. Of course there'll be distractions, a new partner, a baby, a pet, a ***r group, and suddenly we don't feel alone and feel like we're needed / wanted / loved. They will be used to give us hope or delusion in order to feed the incomprehensible will to live. 

Something I read a few days ago stuck with me: Human beings separated from experiencing life the moment they used words to describe it, making it something they talk about instead of living it. Well, we can tell ourselves stories of love, of fulfilling lives, of connections. But they're just that, stories. 

[mi****]

I suggest going to a local Walmart and telling random woman they're pretty,
Maybe you might get a few numbers

[pat-4010]

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