Shame on you

[Ja****]

I personally believe kink is a the***utic release and not just “freaky sex” and I’ve begun to notice a number of users on here that openly Kink shame CNC or complain about CNC being sprung on them while on a first date from somebody they met on this website because of a simple fact that they don’t talk about hard no’s/yes’ and each others boundaries is alarming. Does anyone else feel that there’s people joining this website with the ideology that it is similar to Tinder or the more vanilla version, Feeld and does anybody else feel like this site is potentially unsafe because of this?

[Re****]

I’ve found a few good men on here. I am very open and ask lots of questions. Set boundaries. If people aren’t doing this than Thats on them. It’s not the app.

[Mr****]

Doesn't feel unsafe. And I don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting to dive head first into kinks on the first meet up. Forming a level of comfort first makes sense. There should be no kink shaming and i haven't seen a ton of that.

[Slats]

I've only ran into one, and people seem to have shut him down pretty quick.

[Ss****]

Oh yea tons of vanilla people that think this is just an app for people that wanna have easy sex

[Slats]

2 minutes ago, Ssen21 said:

Oh yea tons of vanilla people that think this is just an app for people that wanna have easy sex

Oh, now that I'm seeing quite a bit of. Just haven't seen much of the CNC shaming.

[Ch****]

I don't entirely understand your question, likely due to the run-on sentence in the middle. Would you mind clarifying?

[Da****]

I don’t really come across people who shame for kinks as much as those who jump in with what are you looking for my profile says friends yes but honestly i get a lot of “you realize you’re on a kink app right” and the answer is yes i do but i’ve found that most who actually read my profile and are receptive to it actually end up talking to me rather than immediately jumping into my kinks and when we’re going to fuck. People not discussing their limits and making it clear of what they like or don’t like that is on them like someone else had mentioned it’s not the app’s fault for them not having that discussion ahead of a meet up

[Starbucket]

I have never had anyone on this site shame me for anything. Nor has anyone"Sprung" any type of bullshit on me. I'm not really following what you are going on about. Are you upset because this isn't happening to you? Keep your head up. You'll find your person and they will shower you with things, that are "Sprung".

[ro****]

If someone says no to what you want and you keep pushing them for it, that's not okay. It's not kink shaming, it's the need for consent.

[my****]

I've never had anyone on here kink shame me. I have had men that think sex is what BDSM is about so I stay away from men who claim they are good in bed.... Because BDSM involves way more just your dick.

[Ja****]

2 hours ago, MrsVirgo said:

Doesn't feel unsafe. And I don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting to dive head first into kinks on the first meet up. Forming a level of comfort first makes sense. There should be no kink shaming and i haven't seen a ton of that.

I’ve been on this app a long time and it’s only been recently and maybe there was a flux of people joining or maybe we just weren’t paying much mind but I’ve definitely seen a lot of ignorance throughout time but also, I literally found my first incel troll today and it really through me off

[Ja****]

2 hours ago, RedVelvet454509 said:

I’ve found a few good men on here. I am very open and ask lots of questions. Set boundaries. If people aren’t doing this than Thats on them. It’s not the app.

Oh I agree it’s not the app. It’s not symbiotic in the sense of it’s becoming different voluntarily. It’s the app picking up friction and this is why we can’t have nice things

[Ja****]

Also, I didn’t say there is anything wrong with being wary on the first date but there is something wrong with shaming people who do and people like that should not be in the kink community, hence vetting

[Ja****]

2 hours ago, Ssen21 said:

Oh yea tons of vanilla people that think this is just an app for people that wanna have easy sex

This

[Ja****]

1 hour ago, ChameleonLady said:

I don't entirely understand your question, likely due to the run-on sentence in the middle. Would you mind clarifying?

Yeah, talk to text can cause punctuation issues, lolol. Please don’t call the grammar police on me. Beyond that if you don’t understand that I’d be happy to clarify my question but if you’re being rhetorical then I’m not amused

[Ja****]

2 hours ago, Slats said:

Oh, now that I'm seeing quite a bit of. Just haven't seen much of the CNC shaming.

It’s all about reading the comments after the op on some of these threads

[Lo****]

I think there a lots of people here, who don’t really seem to know what this app is for🤷🏼‍♀️
I set “lost tinder-boys” as a boundary right from the start 😂✌️

[Ja****]

I should have also stated that this is all coming from a 24/7 so I take this life very seriously.

[me****]

Agreed

[Da****]

I have a personal block in people who straight away associate kink with “rough sex” …

[Ma****]

2 hours ago, mysticmasa420 said:

I've never had anyone on here kink shame me. I have had men that think sex is what BDSM is about so I stay away from men who claim they are good in bed.... Because BDSM involves way more just your dick.

Exactly, its way more mental than anything.

[PL****]

I have unfortunately met quite a few who are fairly vanilla, or want much less then I do for a D/s relationship. I have also had a few that expected a CNC relationship without consent and usually through simple vetting, I figure this out fairly quickly. I block those individuals or at the minimum make sure they know that they need to do further research as to what a true D/s relationship should look like. I ask them if they truly read my profile and understand what I am looking for as well. Because often that is ignored. However, I do not ever feel unsafe, because I have options to make sure those that are not great do not bother me further. I do agree that lately this has increased; (the not so great individuals) but, I have found that because I want a very specific type of lifestyle this is one of the best apps I have used. I also love the app because it has brought me a community that thinks like me and I love that I have that.

[do****]

just reading comments and posts shows the issue and importance of talking and laying everything out. we all view things differently and do things differently.

everyone see laying everything out early as bad but wondering why so much misunderstanding goes on. people see as rude and so many negative things. but stating ur intention and interests i feel should be first thing. thats best way to create an understanding. rather then 12 dates later figuring out someone has kinks that make u feel uncomfortable.

now as far as kinks and why so many people are joining is they are learning we all have kinks haven’t met a person one that couldn’t google and find a kink they relate to.

now saying someone wrong because they view something differently is wrong. even with labels thats just opening basic knowledge of kinks or action so on. thats why it means so little to bring up to me. now the full details and experience of that a different thing. some mix kinks unknowingly thats why that uncomfortable conversation earlier can save time and hurt feelings later.

last wanna add is blocking or saying there not true dom sub or is judging them without effort to understand them. internet knowledge only gets you so far with the confusion i mean everyone exploring just some got more opportunities then others. like someone associating kinks with rough sex they ain’t wrong or right there. blocking doesn’t break it down for them. bet u ask what makes rough sex kinky they gonna actually give info that would allow u to find there actual kinks.

stop judging and blocking we all people exploring talk if it’s someone truly ignorant and hard to talk to suggest an event or a starting point and kindly end conversation or at least attempt to do kindly. the toxicity of someone supposed to know everything and have same view of labels crazy

[Bl****]

I don't use talk-to-text, but it is not possible to read and edit before hitting "send"?