🔥 Let’s talk body types, attraction, and body confidence in BDSM.🔥

[Co****]

I’m genuinely curious about something, and I’d love to hear different perspectives from both Doms and subs. When it comes to physical attraction, what body types really catch your attention? Do you love curves with a flat tummy? A soft belly that you can grab, hold, and love on? A full, thick body that moves with every touch, kiss, and thrust? Or do you gravitate toward someone small and petite who makes you want to handle them gently, like something precious? Maybe your preference is something entirely different. Is it about a specific body type, or is it more about the way someone carries themselves, their confidence, their energy, and the chemistry between you? 👀

But here’s the part I’m even more interested in discussing:
How do you help a partner who struggles with body insecurities truly "feel" desired? It’s one thing to tell someone they’re beautiful, but it’s another to make them believe you when their mind tells them otherwise. For those in a D/s dynamic, how do you use your words, actions, affection, and intimacy to help your partner feel safe enough to let go of those insecurities? How do you show them that your attraction isn’t conditional on a flat stomach, perfect proportions, or fitting some unrealistic standard? That you see the person beneath the skin, and that their body is something you appreciate rather than something they need to apologize for?

I’d love to hear from everyone:
What’s your physical preference, and how do you make your partner feel genuinely wanted, especially on the days they struggle to see their own beauty?

Let’s keep it respectful, honest, and open-minded. ❤️‍🔥

[Ke****]

I'm a thighs, ass and belly to grab guy
When a woman carries herself confidently and has some or all of those features, that's some instant spark at my end

[ga****]

I love this!! I am always working on confidence as I struggle with those insecurities.

[Techracer]

yes all those things!

[BZ****]

As a BBW who for 22 years was told she was fat, ugly, disgusting, revolting… just to name a few!
It is important that you see yourself through the eyes of someone who appreciates your unique beauty (whatever the body type!!) and allow yourself to feel appreciated!!
Not being able to accept the compliment and admiration of someone is not a rejection… but the symptom of a trauma long lasting enough to have damaged someone.

I know therapy can help … but sometimes (and I say this cautiously..) allowing the person who sees your beauty to photograph you… and then see that image as how they look at you … can be transformational in a very good way!

The most powerful way to convey genuine desire to someone who feels insecure about their body is to make them feel that your attraction is not conditional on their learning to love themselves first. You see them, you want them, and you are not merely overlooking the parts of themselves they struggle to accept. You are attracted to the person they are, exactly as they are.

Instead of simply saying, “You have nothing to be insecure about,”
try: “I know you see things about yourself that you wish were different. But when I look at you, I see someone who genuinely attracts me. I notice the things you may try to hide, and they don't make me want you any less. I want you to know that my attraction to you is real, personal, and entirely my own.”

Here are some different ways to say things:

Reassurance says, “You're beautiful.”
Desire says, “Come closer. I want to kiss you.”
Reassurance says, “I don't mind your body.”
Desire says, “I love the way you feel in my arms.”

It’s all about how they (this body type person) makes you feel!!!

Tell them how you feel when you are around them… how they arouse you when the do certain things or wear certain clothes… how you cannot help yourself and your hands have to envelop this person …

Best of luck … be patient… be kind !
And I hope you both find joy ❤️💕

[on****]

I have been attracted to every body size, shape and color of a woman at one point or another.

[ro****]

Wow. Could not have said it any better,”BZBEE”. Genuinely, I appreciate those words.

For me have learned that physical attraction is necessary. In my own thinking it seems vain. In ways think (for I have a strong desire for a woman who is slim or fit than any other type) mentally it ties to how she sees herself. This may not be reality, but for me, arousal happens ( that mind and body connection ). Yes, there are woman who are outside the box I spoke on. BBW.. in speaking that I feel like (1) they are pretty women, (2) nice curves, and (3) their confidence brings that erotic feeling of my desire. I am not saying this to say,” every woman needs my blessing to be beautiful”. I am saying “my opinion” for me.

The one that encapsulates it well is “BZBEE’s” statements. She wrote that eloquently. I am merely voicing an opinion for me.

[Ma****]

Definitely the way one carries themsrlves. I’ve been with small to big and the way they carry themselves is everything. I like someone who just takes care of themself. I have my personal kinks, but they don’t make the connection.

Passion, romance, control, submission are done in action and not words. If someone feels insecure it’s going to take consistent actions showing that they’re loved for who they are. It’s normally not a quick fix.

[Bi****]

I prefer petite women with small tits and a nice bubble butt

[Ja****]

Curves for me, but body confidence is always hotter than a specific body type

[su****]

I’ve noticed, as a semi plus sized girly, it’s all about confidence and how you carry yourself. Rejection is more about the person rejecting, not about yourself. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, they might not even like tea.

Since ive stopped caring about those who “might not like me” I’ve attracted men I’ve thought were way out of my league.

Practice self love and care. Your confidence and security with yourself will bloom🌻

[Sh****]

I prefer petite women. I often feel shallow and hate my preference because I just don't find larger women attractive. I wish there was a magical switch I could flip to make it change. Also, I am not a very fit guy (dad-bod), so I feel hypocritical. How do I show affection and how do I let my partner know I find them beautiful? The same ways I think anyone should show love for their partner; Initiation, enthusiasm, support, and acts of love. All of these actions can be different for ever person and it takes some figuring out in every relationship.

[fl****]

I’m pretty exclusive curves and soft. I like the look and feel and seeing the body jiggle and move. But there is a limit.

[Oldbutgood]

So oddly enough my first attraction is almost always lips and eyes. After that I do prefer a curvy girl, but there have been some slender women in my life. Some of it is mental like I'm attracted to their personality. As for anyone who has insecurities, I try to compliment them. I have a tendency of doing things like either kissing and treating their body all the same So they know that overall they're beautiful. Kissing, hugging, not asking them to wear anything that covers anything up. Loving and being attracted to them for who they are. Also logically I'm telling them. Hey look I'm a 53-year-old dude. I'm with you and I'm erect which means I obviously find you attractive. A penis does not lie. There are times when it might not work right for variations, but if it is working just fine and you haven't taken any pills, you find the person that you're with attractive. And that's kind of not something that can be denied and I use that to help my partners understand that I think that they're beautiful.

[ja****]

I am I'm frustrated because as dating sites and social media have genuinely Twisted women's standards, it's become harder and harder to find women that I'm attracted to. I'm not even that picky but if I can find a woman that's under 170 lb it's a victory. And it's depressing

[ja****]

23 minutes ago, ShyPlunger said:

I prefer petite women. I often feel shallow and hate my preference because I just don't find larger women attractive. I wish there was a magical switch I could flip to make it change. Also, I am not a very fit guy (dad-bod), so I feel hypocritical. How do I show affection and how do I let my partner know I find them beautiful? The same ways I think anyone should show love for their partner; Initiation, enthusiasm, support, and acts of love. All of these actions can be different for ever person and it takes some figuring out in every relationship.

Dude you don't know how many times I've thought to myself I wish there was a way to hypnotize me or flip a switch so that I was attracted to Kathy bates. Once you get past 35 it becomes incredibly hard to find anybody that doesn't match that physiogeny

[No****]

6 minutes ago, jaxnorth said:

Dude you don't know how many times I've thought to myself I wish there was a way to hypnotize me or flip a switch so that I was attracted to Kathy bates. Once you get past 35 it becomes incredibly hard to find anybody that doesn't match that physiogeny

You ever considered taking their personality into consideration when you decide whether or not they are attractive to you? It changed my life. I find alot more women attractive now, and it goes both ways, if you are a physical ten skinny fit all that, nut a straight up bitch, you are a 2 to me. If you are a chunky but still cute 6 or 7 with a great personality girls a 10.

[DarkArts1066]

As a Dominant Male, I’m attracted to personality first. Self confidence, assuredness and attitude, rather than brattishness.

After that it’s how a person dresses and carries rhemselves.

Then comes the physical.
I have a big breast fetish, so I’m attracted to big boobs.
They can be on someone with curves, someone who is toned, and gym fit, or someone who is of a more petite build, but it’s the boobs for me.


Personality at the top of the list for me though -always.

Side note: it’s not always easy for that to shine through online, -and whilst I might be attracted to a profile picture, I still need the personality behind that image.
Profiles with avatars as their primary pic don’t go anywhwre with me.

[ka****]

Personality and emotional/intellectual chemistry for me. Physical form is meaningless, I find beauty in every body.
I hope I transmit this in words, actions and in touch.

[La****]

I'm an odd one I guess, I have multiple types / preferences physically / emotionally / personality each has its own caveats I guess?

above all else how someone carries themselves makes a huge difference ( no I don't mean strutting around with mightier than thou ego) more the confidence / comfort in themselves to be themselves and not stress over opinions of people that aren't worth a grain of salt.

lastly actually seeming approachable is an incredibly attractive trait in this current age, speaking mostly for the simpler men we aren't minders readers and frankly awfully oblivious when it comes to subtleties and a lot are hesitant to approach (please correct me with your own perspective) so just seeming pleasant and approachable makes a substantial difference

Learn what makes your partner tick, be more enthusiastic about the parts they might not be and show them why you appreciate them even if they don't

[To****]

I've always been attracted to the softer BBW women.

[He****]

I definitely lean more toward curves in any form, but it is certainly centered around proportion more than anything. However, that is not my sole or main attraction. An overwhelming majority of my attraction to someone is in the face and eyes. Those with more expressive face and eyes definitely go to the top of the list. This is probably where my glasses fetish comes from if I'm being honest. It is a HUGE turn on to see someone's eyes drop into submission, settle into their little space, or (when I switch) smolder with control.

My partner and I both have issues with our body image. What I try to do for her is focus on showing her the pleasure she brings me. I.e. making her grab my crotch when shes turned me on. Also little reminders of the specific things that you think are beautiful can help more than just saying "you're so beautiful" etc. For myself, I'm still kind of working through some of what actually helps, but one thing that definitely works is getting spiffy from time to time for no particular reason. Just throwing on a nice shirt and tie, maybe a vest or jacket just because and reminding myself that I can do a pretty nice job when I clean up a bit.

[Me****]

For me - I’m attracted to a pretty face. Everything else is negotiable. The more my subs does as she’s told, the more she is rewarded. Body image shouldn’t factor into your willingness to obey.

I think the more you dress like I want you to (like a complete slut, either overtly or under your clothes), the better you will be rewarded. My reaction to your submission should show how attractive I find you. Then, as you slip further into submission and dress sluttier and sluttier, you’ll start to catch people checking you out. This will help your confidence grow. That’s my take, anyway.

[hot-springs206194]

Facial beauty is not high on my list but I have pretty strict weight limits.

[Vo****]

Muscular, I try to follow routine so we both can struggle to maintain gains and share triumphs