Newbie needs some tips

[Fetishguy21]

Hi guys and gals I’m meeting a escort for a bdsm meet next week . We have met before a few times and absolutely trust each other. I know she’s into it as she’s told me and we have played a little but this time she’s bringing a paddle and flogger. I’ve seen pix of her bruised and it’s so hot . We have code words and everything but I’m a little scared I don’t wanna be too rough or too safe lol any tips ? 

[ST85]

Start soft and build up to an increased intensiry, communication is always important, not just verbal, you can tell a lot for how their body reacts too.

[ma****]

I would say to advocate for yourself and state you want soft bdsm and touched before it escalated to bruises and such and to see what your tolerances are

[ey****]

Soo; that she is bringing them for you to use on her is a good sign of trust

Communication is important.  Tell her what you've just written in the thread that you don't want to be too rough or too safe (too safe is impossible : you can always do more next time, you can't take back what you've done) but get her to tell you when you can go harder as well as when to ease off.

Also learn where is safe to strike and not - while the bum is very... resilient, be careful not to strike too high because the lower back is not.  (though - shoulders/upper back is) 

Perhaps get her to help you practice on a pillow first. 

[Fetishguy21]

Thanks she has told me anywhere is ok apart from back , she’s even ok with face slapping we are gonna use traffic light code is it bad I wanna bruise her ? 

[Leisa]

I’d stay away from anything but very light face slapping. That’s one area you definitely do not want to bruise for legality sake. Start slow. Check in frequently.

[ey****]

8 hours ago, Fetishguy21 said:

is it bad I wanna bruise her ?

Not at all. Providing of course that she is happy to take it to the levels of being bruised when you've not done this before.

One thing to be mindful of - you may get a form of drop yourself and may get conflicting thoughts in your head (i.e. is it bad/dangerous I get aroused beating a woman? - the answer is no, because it was mutually consensual)

[Fetishguy21]

She’s definitely ok for it , I’m just not a violent person at all , but it’s such a turn on when a woman wants it

[bi****]

basic tips: hit the muscly bits only, stick to buttocks, thighs. You can find instruictons for spanking online - go find one and read it.

[Mmmay]

Communication. Communication. Communication. She should be checking in with you often. If not advocate for yourself. Also. Making sure of the level of after care you receive. If there’s not enough right away. You can gauge that later more impact won’t be either. If she’s caring and attentive and strong and listens well. Then enjoy.