FTMs, MTFs, Genderqueers and Chasers.

[Cerebrospinofluid]

Help me understand why people who are sexually attracted to transpersons are called chasers, and why it's a bad thing.

I've had the experience now on multiple occasions to find someone to have circled back to my profile repeatedly, and messaging them to find out that they'd been too scared to contact me due to fear of being labeled a chaser.

Why is it not okay to sexualize the transbody? I sexualize the cisgender male body. Is that a bad thing?

I don't at all mean to offend any fellow transgenders. But... there again, why should it be offensive? This an explicitly sexual site, made for kinks and fetishes. Sometimes an entire body is a kink for someone. (For instance: big muscle heads do it for me.) But that doesn't mean that the mind owning the body is being disregarded, does it? At least, it hasn't been in my experience. So I must have a very different experience then, that's the conclusion I've come to.

What experience have other transpersons had wherein this has been a bad thing? It's so much more often that the transbody is hated. Why is it bad to be appreciated, even if it's a work in progress? Or even if you don't intend to change? I know I'm going to receive some flak about this, and that's okay. I genuinely want to know what's going on with this, and what downsides there are.

[Cerebrospinofluid]

Potentially this thread should be moved out of this forum and into another. Please let me know if that's the case. I just wasn't sure where to place it...

[ey****]

I think there's a subtle difference.   Are they attracted to someone who happens to be trans, or attracted to because they're trans?  Is it that they're attracted to, or are they fetishising.

Slate did a really good article a while ago, but sadly external links aren't allowed so you'll have to look it up.

But effectively, chasers are fetisishing and objectifying trans bodies rather than it being an attraction.

Because of this, those who've dated chasers often find them awful people.  

 

[Deleted Member]

I think a lot of people are scared cause they think that they are gonna get labeled as something they aren't, Like for example I am attracted to transmen and transwomen if they already fulfill my standards of beauty but I know people who are attracted to these people because they 'chose to chang' to fit that beauty standard. 

[Cerebrospinofluid]

16 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Slate did a really good article a while ago, but sadly external links aren't allowed so you'll have to look it up.

But effectively, chasers are fetisishing and objectifying trans bodies rather than it being an attraction.

I found the article you were talking about, and it brings up a good point that I hadn't thought of. It might be *my* experience as a transman to have met nice chasers that are into my body and also my personality, but as always, women have it sh**tier.

13 hours ago, MisterKBDJ said:

... but I know people who are attracted to these people because they 'chose to chang' to fit that beauty standard. 

Oof, that's disheartening. D;

 

Thanks for your responses, guys.

[3S****]

Most people sexualise me for having tattoos, they don't consider what i want and just see me as someone who fits into their fetish or sexual preference for someone who has tattoos. It's completely unflattering and offensive because i didn't have these tattoos for them personally nor to be sexualised (was in a long term relationship when i had most of them done for me).

I'm disabled now and keep that to myself as i thought it would be a fetish for many guys but it actually puts them off despite them not even asking/knowing how it affects me. Fetish is a very tedious area i feel, so many people do objectify in their own way and go for the sex angle first over everything else. It's pretty much the same everywhere though and the tattoos are not being removed so i have to deal with it or ignore it. If you're only looking for sex though that has it's advantages as objectification is shallow and i have my own objectifications and can fulfil them easily.

[Cerebrospinofluid]

D: Your tattoos are beautiful, but your face is moreso. Sad to hear that people wouldn't listen to and respect the words that come out of it before fetishizing any part of you. I'm sorry to hear.... I'm realising now why it's a bad thing, chasing. Thank you for sharing, and I hope you meet someone soon that is interested in all parts of you.

[3S****]

Thanks, wasn't expecting all that.

I've accepted it's part and parcel of the internet way but doesn't mean i entertain it. At least you've found people who don't want that label, i think that's good.

[ftm_daddywolf]

I think if you have a thing for trans men or women, personally it doesn’t bother me, I actually like it. I’d rather be with a girl who was really into someone like me specifically.. as long as it was real and not a phase or just a sexual thing. 

‘My worst experiences have been with women that seem to like trans guys for a while but end up leaving  for a cis men, maybe because they don’t wanna deal with the complexity or maybe they just get a strong urge... maybe they just wanna be straight and settle down... and they can’t see that with a trans guy (obvs not actually true)...who knows. maybe Its just bad luck. but that can feel really crappy. I suppose I don’t wanna be flavour of the month... I want a lifer!! Haha 😂  I like those queer women that actually prefer my body.

[Alxwulf]

I love ftm guys they are so hot 😍

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Being chased Or fetish object is flattering as attention and short term buzz But most peeps need and deserve longer-term acceptance and companion rather just being some kind of quick-fix for others in society all the time.....feeling continually) used can demonize Or degrade peeps citizenship if your trans/different in (I)identity its harder life in the long run already.....Ive been told so many times by guys I'm not interested in a relationship with you But you can stay the night ect....I just walk out majority of the time now cause its so bloody rude of them to think of me like that......

[Dime-1868]

As a trans boy, who isn't gonna get bottom surgery, I'd be happy to find someone who likes my body that way. Would be horrible, If we both sat there in the end crying about my lower parts. 😅

[Callmelittle1]

I have had this happen and simultaneously have had someone else who got it right on the same day.

I’m paraphrasing slightly.  This was a few years ago…

I’ll start with the chaser’s come on:

It’s so cool that you have been so brave to be a transgender.  Guys who became women are so hot.  Did. You know that you are a hot commodity?

 

the person who I ended up dating:

Hello beautiful lady.  I’d like to get to know you better.  I think that you are sexy hot and I think we have similar interests.

Edited January 11 by Callmelittle1
Better clarity

[Darkpuppy]

On 5/17/2018 at 10:44 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

I think there's a subtle difference.   Are they attracted to someone who happens to be trans, or attracted to because they're trans?  Is it that they're attracted to, or are they fetishising.

Slate did a really good article a while ago, but sadly external links aren't allowed so you'll have to look it up.

But effectively, chasers are fetisishing and objectifying trans bodies rather than it being an attraction.

Because of this, those who've dated chasers often find them awful people.  

 

Is there also a poor view on people who are attracted to drag Queen and Kings? Cuase like I feel like that is a fetish too but some people who dress in Drag are doing so because crossdressing literally is thier fetish. 

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Darkpuppy said:

Is there also a poor view on people who are attracted to drag Queen and Kings? Cuase like I feel like that is a fetish too but some people who dress in Drag are doing so because crossdressing literally is thier fetish. 

I think less of an issue

but I guess a problem that drag Queens and Kings is likely to be a part of their persona rather than who they are all the time.  If Mike is Michela 2 nights a week and you're attracted to Michela, then how does that affect the relationship the other 5 days?

[urnexfuctoi]

Anybody who wants to fetishize me...please!!  Make my day.......balls deep 

[Nocturne]

Personally, as a trans man, I don't want people's interest in me to be purely, or predominantly, to be for the fact that I'm trans. If people like that I'm trans, especially if they're also trans and it's from a shared experience, I can get that, but if people are attracted to me just because I'm trans, I'd rather get with someone who's interested in me due to the things I enjoy doing in terms of kink, I don't want people to diminish me to just the fact that I'm transgender.

[Nocturne]

Just now, Nocturne said:

Personally, as a trans man, I don't want people's interest in me to be purely, or predominantly, to be for the fact that I'm trans. If people like that I'm trans, especially if they're also trans and it's from a shared experience, I can get that, but if people are attracted to me just because I'm trans, I'd rather get with someone who's interested in me due to the things I enjoy doing in terms of kink, I don't want people to diminish me to just the fact that I'm transgender.

So in short, I don't want to be objectified, especially not for the fact that I'm transgender. 

[lo****]

I’m a bi man
Have been with many women
And lots of guys

But I’m very attracted to. MTF
Trans girls

I’ve played with 2 in my life

But the area I live
Most charge
So I’ve had very little luck finding

[Bobby-Phoenix]

I personally find myself attracted to the stereotypical female asthetic and image, but at the same time I really enjoy receiving anal pleasure. I have a strong desire to share myself sexually in submissive role, but to someone who is very feminine. If I did meet a man with feminine appeal who attracts me, I would have no qualms about pursuing a relationship with him. 

[Ba****]

I had an experience with a couple people, not on here, that made it weird and creepy right off the bat. In my experience, it was always creepily over sexualizing me being trans. I'm okay with it if it doesn't get creepy. (Like only being attracted to me BECAUSE I'm a trans man.) Never had a good experience with someone who's fetish was Transpeople.

[AnxiolyticPlease]

I'm pansexual. I don't rigidly categorize other people by gender in my head. I do respect their gender identity and appreciate that it's important to many people. I just see gender as somewhat arbitrary.

 

I'm attracted to all genders, sexes, and genital configurations, whether man-made or natural. I'm also a cis male. If also being attracted to trans people in addition to (damn near literally) everyone else makes me a chaser, then fine, but that term is also meaningless. 

Edited May 18 by AnxiolyticPlease
Typos

[Nocturne]

On 5/18/2023 at 7:26 PM, AnxiolyticPlease said:

I'm pansexual. I don't rigidly categorize other people by gender in my head. I do respect their gender identity and appreciate that it's important to many people. I just see gender as somewhat arbitrary.

 

I'm attracted to all genders, sexes, and genital configurations, whether man-made or natural. I'm also a cis male. If also being attracted to trans people in addition to (damn near literally) everyone else makes me a chaser, then fine, but that term is also meaningless. 

Being attracted to people regardless of whether they are trans or cis, in my view, would be in direct opposition to being a chaser. A chaser is someone who is cis that seeks out transgender people specifically because they are transgender.

(The reason why I specify chasers as being cis is because some transgender people will prefer to or exclusively date/have sex with people who are also transgender, known as T4T. This can be for safety, to be with someone who they share experiences with, but someone being T4T is different from someone being a chaser, given T4T is about a shared experience.)

[Ky****]

some of the time I worry about this since tbh I don't like the trans label, I'm not trans I'm a woman with birth defects so to me being fetishised as trans makes me feel the same as being fetishised because I'd lost a leg, not that I object to anyone's fetish and I haven't lost a leg but you get the idea, the rest of the time well so long as a chaser treats me as a woman then its way hey, 

[Deleted Member]

Wait.....so if I'm attracted to a trans body.... I'm a "chaser"?
I'm not allowed to be genuinely/sexually attracted to trans people as well as intersex people? Cuz I'll fuck that too if they're willing.