Submission Is...Boundaries

[AKA_Copper]

I’m using a new word: "No".

I’m learning that, that word doesn’t need an explanation, that I have every right to command my body, boundaries, and health, and that I don’t have to give excuses, or even reasons, for that. If I’m not interested in someone, I’m learning, not to feel guilty about my “no”. I’m figuring out, how to reject come-ons without feeling awkward. I'm learning, that it's okay to set limits.

I’m learning that, if someone oversteps my physical boundaries by groping me without any permission or harassing me on the streets, saying, “back off” does not make me a “crazy PMS-ing feminazi."

I’m learning that, I have as much right to my space as you do to yours.

I’m learning that, I’m allowed to feel angry. When others behave criminally, being female does not mean that the emotion of rage is off the table. I’m not obliged to ignore harassment. I’m not obliged to hide my anger. I’m not obliged to be nice to assholes I’ve never met who take ownership of my physical boundaries.

In other words, I’m learning that my body and mind belong to me.

In other words, I’ve spent 40 years behaving as though they aren’t mine to control and that I owe you special rights to step beyond my limits.

In other words, I’ve spent a lifetime creating discomfort for myself for the sake of other peoples feelings.

In other words, I’ve always given predators that one overstep that tells them “I’m a good victim. Try me.”

[PassionateAngel]

Good for you; may years ago that was my hardest word to use; my new word now is ‘it won’t work’. Keep up the great work within yourself and using that ‘no’.
Beautiful work of self evolving boundaries of what you will and will not accept
Be proud and feel proud x

[Deleted Member]

Make your 'YES' mean 'YES'! and your 'NO' mean 'NO' !

[El****]

Keep up the good work! Your amazing words speaks volumes in todays world :) we are all human and emotions are real :)

[Mo****]

No is a complete sentence, you do not need to justify why it's a no to anyone

[TheBookCollector]

The problem is that to many see NO as meaning YES or a challenge to change it into a YES through ***

[Deleted Member]

It's 9k to say 'No' at any time, i just try to contour it so as not to hurt ithers feel8ngs too. But sometimes I find the people who are the mist sensitive are the hardest ones to tell. Say8ng 'no' nicely is so difficult

[TheBookCollector]

4 minutes ago, Pheonix2786 said:

It's 9k to say 'No' at any time, i just try to contour it so as not to hurt ithers feel8ngs too. But sometimes I find the people who are the mist sensitive are the hardest ones to tell. Say8ng 'no' nicely is so difficult

Why is saying no going to hurt someones feelings? If you cant stand someone saying no to you, you really need to grow up.

[Deleted Member]

Very wise, because regardless of the dynamics, you are still in charge of your own well-being and health. Those who can't handle a no need help in my opinion.

[Ba****]

Always have to watch out for and take care of yourself. That’s paramount.

[Deleted Member]

ahhh ... but really, you really have to CK 😂 D's can handle no badly, it makes them insecure 😇

[Deleted Member]

Bigg Huggs!!

[Mo****]

CopperKnob you are dead right in what you say about "Submission Is.... Boundaries", but to me what you have written is something that has speared off into another area, and that includes sexism and gender. To me, when you included the "crazy PMS-ing", or the "being female does not mean that the emotion of rage is off the table" has actually denigrated male submissives who have to put up with the same or similar things. Now if you wish to address the thread title, I am 100% with you, or if you want to make a specific address at the female side of things, then more than likely, depending on what you write, I will 100% support that point of view as well, to to combine both of these topics in one thread, to me, makes light of male submissives or even transgender people and those points that affect them.

[Submissive-Scott]

Definitely keep that word on the tip of your tongue at all times and use it loud and clear. We are strong even as Subs and need to be listened to and taken seriously especially in these sort of situations. Great post.

[AKA_Copper]

9 hours ago, MossyBoy said:

CopperKnob you are dead right in what you say about "Submission Is.... Boundaries", but to me what you have written is something that has speared off into another area, and that includes sexism and gender. To me, when you included the "crazy PMS-ing", or the "being female does not mean that the emotion of rage is off the table" has actually denigrated male submissives who have to put up with the same or similar things. Now if you wish to address the thread title, I am 100% with you, or if you want to make a specific address at the female side of things, then more than likely, depending on what you write, I will 100% support that point of view as well, to to combine both of these topics in one thread, to me, makes light of male submissives or even transgender people and those points that affect them.

I write from the female perspective because I am one. The post is transferrable to any gender one identifies with

[AKA_Copper]

21 hours ago, TheBookCollector said:

Why is saying no going to hurt someones feelings? If you cant stand someone saying no to you, you really need to grow up.

Because saying no is sometimes uncomfortable no matter who you're saying it to. There's a definite conflict particulary for me, someone who hates said conflict. @pheonix2786 i hear what you're saying

[Deleted Member]

Exactly that, 

[Deleted Member]

But not just the conflict it's also about trying not to be too blunt. Of course sometimes you have to be. 

[Deleted Member]

Mmmm on reflection, I’m not sure your post is transferrable to any gender .... this is your personal view and your experiences which others may share. we all have strengths and weaknesses we all have our own stories and have all experienced different Challenges in life. We also deal with situation in different ways as Individuals. Humans see No and YES to mean different things the Definition of these words stands for itself but like in any words they can mean different things to different people and the way things are said is a Great indicator , unlike texted and messages ....words and meaning , are the sole and art of communication with others and can be taken greatly out of Context. Some it wil please some will identify with this and other will be dissatisfied...but I get your enlightenment and put very eloquently.

[Lotuspetal]

Just because you consent to giving up your control, doesn't stop your equality. Get to know your had and soft limits, have a safe word, learn the traffic light system. If anything is done with out your consent, then that is not kink or fet, its ***, and ***. You are not a sub to the world, you choose who you like to share this part of your personality with. I do think you speak universally, and all genders can benefit, this self awareness you have found. Well done xxx