Are subs allowed limits?

[Sluttyiowagirl]

I have started talking to a daddy dom and he claims subs are not allowed to have limits. I have very few which are no anal, no other women, no piss or shit. As a submissive am i allowed limits 

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely. That's why safeties exist

[ey****]

yes, of course.

You've got to ask why a Dominant would try to manipulate you into saying you can't have limits...

Even in more extreme and edge play, like CNC, there are still, ultimately, limits.

[BigPolly]

OH MY GODDDD!! You are as important as any Dom, without your gift of submission a Dom can’t play their role. You ARE allowed limits & don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Can I suggest you stop talking to that bully immediately because that isn’t a Dom & if he’s on here then he needs reporting as that’s dangerous, trying to manipulate subs into ‘what he says goes’ You are a beautiful sub, there are some amazing Doms on here who will snap you up & show you the correct & fun way to play but whatever happens please don’t let one bully scare you off. If you have to ask us all ‘is that right’ then chances are you already know it’s not. You’re allowed to play at YOUR level not someone else’s level. Things are talked about & discussed & you should never be told you don’t have a say in any kind of play.

[Deleted Member]

He's not a proper dom just a control freak. I'd stay clear of that behaviour.. subs are most definetly allowed limits. We as subs put ourselves in a position of total trust with our doms. They should respect that . 🙂

[Deleted Member]

Yes yes yes, that is all 🔥

[Jynxie]

A good Dom knows the limits of their sub. A good Dom is also there to care for you too. If they can't respect your limits or refuse to let you have limits, then they aren't a good Dom, and you should find a better one.

[Deleted Member]

Slave = no limits , submissive can choose her own limits and boundaries , any true Dominant will respect those particularly during intial conversations . Sounds like you are both slightly inexperienced , perhaps chat to other submissive and Doms and explore . Also maybe some reading about roles within ds relationship will definitely help. Certainly sounds like he is looking for a Slave .

[Deleted Member]

Yes you are not a real dom

[Deleted Member]

It's odd he considers himself a Daddy Dom yet has so little regard for his girl..usually the Daddy types are much more caring and  considerate of their partners needs, as @sammyb45 says, sounds like he's looking for a total slave .that aside...baby girl, submissive, bottom, whatever you want to call yourself in this dynamic..your hard limits are your hard limits and if he won't respect that he is unworthy of your respect full stop. Take @BigPollyadvice, cut him off and find a Real Dom who knows how to treat his submissive properly..mentally, emotionally and physically.

 

[Deleted Member]

Just run from him

[Deleted Member]

If your dom denies you a right to limits, drop him. He's not worth your time. Remember, safe, sane and consensual.

[Sluttyiowagirl]

Thank you everyone

[ey****]

although not wanting to derail, although there are differences in sub v slave.  A slave can ultimately still have limits, maybe fewer and maybe they're a bit more flexible - but there are still, ultimately, limits.

[Deleted Member]

I’m afraid I don’t understand this question.

Are there only amateurs on this site?

Every D/s relationship should have a contract and that document should set out all hard boundaries which should not be crossed (for both sides) and soft ones where something may be tried but if not enjoyed turned into hard boundaries.

A D/s contract isn’t set in stone and can be rewritten as the relationship grows...

And while I’m on My soap box; I’m sick and tired of hearing the number of people (once again on both sides) who don’t understand the importance of an aftercare kit in place to help bring the sub back following a gruelling scene.

Far too many ‘Pornhub Doms’ about these days for My liking...

[ey****]

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I’m afraid I don’t understand this question.

the user is new and querying as of if she's being manipulated.

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Are there only amateurs on this site?

the nature of the site does mean it invites more newbies and newcomers.

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Every D/s relationship should have a contract ...

while I don't entirely agree.  At what point in the relationship do they forge this contract?  Meeting over coffee - "hey, let's do something tonight?", "OK, but first we need to draw up a contract"

Equally, how does one person know what to put into said contract?

It's a nice ideology - but, also of course some Dominants have been known to use contracts to facilitate abuse, so it's not a pure science.

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I’m sick and tired of hearing the number of people who don’t understand the importance of an aftercare kit in place to help bring the sub back following a gruelling scene.

Agree whole-heartily 

(but not sure it's place in this thread)

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Far too many ‘Pornhub Doms’ about these days for My liking...

Sadly so, or instas or coffee doms (just add water)

Which is why I think it's important on threads like this to help the new subs with a "No, this isn't right".

[Tomcat420ca]

D/S is a trust relationship based on communication, setting boundaries and what they might want to push limits on. If anyone thinks that non-consensual acts are part of being in this they need to be told, NO that is rape.  

 

[candlestick]

If you aren't allowed limits, it's not bdsm, it's abuse.

[Deleted Member]

It sounds like they want a slave. There is a difference between being a slave and a sub. Submission/domination is earne, love, trust and respect is earned. The submission is earned from either and they would both agree to limits and the dom, master should never go beyond what you are comfortable with, otherwise it is wrong/abuse. I am not anexpert but i at least understand the basics on bdsm, people should educate themselvesbeig they get involved in kink.

[Deleted Member]

As a Dom and Daddy Dom I can say with disgust you are being used and abused

 

He is no Dom 

[Deleted Member]

On 7/5/2018 at 6:42 AM, Ol_Sparky said:

I’m afraid I don’t understand this question.

Are there only amateurs on this site?

Every D/s relationship should have a contract and that document should set out all hard boundaries which should not be crossed (for both sides) and soft ones where something may be tried but if not enjoyed turned into hard boundaries.

A D/s contract isn’t set in stone and can be rewritten as the relationship grows...

And while I’m on My soap box; I’m sick and tired of hearing the number of people (once again on both sides) who don’t understand the importance of an aftercare kit in place to help bring the sub back following a gruelling scene.

Far too many ‘Pornhub Doms’ about these days for My liking...

Couldn't agree with you more 

I'm shocked at some of the stories I'm told in here  or statements that are made by both submissive and Dominants on a regularly basis 

 

educate yourself - read the basics - but everything ol sparky has said is basic common practices 

sx

 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you sammy x

[ericjohn]

is like they want to slave us here,

[Deleted Member]

On 7/4/2018 at 7:28 AM, Medussa06 said:

He's not a proper dom just a control freak. I'd stay clear of that behaviour.. subs are most definetly allowed limits. We as subs put ourselves in a position of total trust with our doms. They should respect that . 🙂

Absolutely medusa. After all you know just how it feels to see a fraction of what a true dom can do. 

[Deleted Member]

Subs definitely have limits, that's why BDSM is safe, sane, and consensual.

Edited August 3, 2018 by Deleted Member