BIG !!!! , Irish, Bubbly, Buxom ,Busty Blue Eyed ,Brunette with big personality ( there might even be a brain bouncing about ) loves a bit of banter for the record this doesn't not make me a Domme !!!
Ok ok ok Serious side- yes I do have one on occasion.
So here goes
I'm 45 yrs old fun loving Irish girl married ( described as SSBBW by many ) big girl , bigger personality
What am I looking for?
Well answer is truthful -Open to suggestions.
Love chatting craic m banter , I'm probably tad cheeky n sarky
Straight gal with bi curiosities
I'm intrigued by the whole scene - but Im a novice back after a few yrs out,
I'm submissive not slave or Doormat
Anything I've missed I'm sure there loads feel free to ask! I don't bite (unless asked)
Feel free to contact me but be respectful and polite at all times
Punishments in my understanding is about it being linked to the "failure " or "Disobedience "
As a last a last resort as a means of teaching valuable lesson
my main point here is - there are many many young women identifying as brats
they are uneducated to lifestyle and they are putting themselves Read more… into scenarios they cannot even imagine ....because in their head it's about being fucked n flogged "
they don't understand what is involved in tasks and training or punishments and rewards , they kick off in order to get attention and punished ... they are using the term "brat ",
many are looking for kinky sex and submission isn't even on the agenda
Think it very much depends on the individuals
many many many will play no matter the time of the month
while many submissive choose to delay or use contraceptives to reduce or stop menstruation
for some it's a huge turn on , while others total turn off
ball gag dipped in spices
As I said Doms are creative creatures
on the rare occasion I have let me mouth run riot , it was nipped and dipped quickly
surely if you are misbehaving to get spanked , surely you are better off to flutter or beg or talk sweetly or even better earn Read more… what what you want
If you think being a brat is all about getting spanked you are sadly mistaken
submissives get spanked if it within their limits
True Dominant can punish a brat in more effectively than spanking in ways you cannot imagine if you are new to this lifestyle
so if you are going to behave like a brat Read more… be sure you understand the consequences of your actions before "playing "
For me things Are very very clear
words , expressions . Terminology for me important in the lifestyle
its basic manners and etiquette
A male dominant is a Dom
A Dominant female is Domme
For me women calling themselves Doms are showing a lack of understanding , I would be concerned their lack of Read more… understanding regarding the basic principles
Does it mean it's ok to change things like "safe word" to something else
Does it means we can change the names of the basic sub positions
surely we root out lots of fakes by how the conduct themselves and their understanding of the basics .... surely if we change something as basic as Dommes and Doms it opens the flood gates for fakes to slip through
Old School am I , that's not going to change
I would tend to agree here
why don't you book a session locally with a professional Dominant who already knows about the Antomy of Spanking and understand how do things safely
there places where you should and shouldn't hurt , now speaking from experience things can go badly wrong of you don't Read more… understand the conditions and the consequences of your actions
My advice would be
seek professional guidance
find a mentor who will educate you share your knowledge and experience
read educate yourself understand what she is asking you to do
Also in your case I would formalise a written agreement with your girls signature saying it's safe safe and consensual ...
do yoU know what to do if she was taken ill mid session
lots of thoughts
just be careful
Protect yourself and her
I've worn day collars and I found it comforting and a way of connecting
my Dom also gave me a ring
there's some beautiful ds relationship rings bracelets n necklaces
my Dom would text me and ask me to touch it throughout randomly throughout the day
he wore a heavy mans bracelet too as a symbol Read more… of our relationship
Firstly I'm saddened by the fact that people feel the need to publicly highlight punctuation grammar or spelling . It just highlights the point you are making Jed about poor manners respect and etiquette
There are many reasons for people to have incorrect punctuation and spelling
surely we should Read more… be encouraging members to write posts highlighting issues concerns or things we can explore or celebrate within the community
With regards to manners respect and etiquette , on a whole on site my experience is its particularly non existent both on initial contact and during conversations
There is no excuse really
please , thank you etc are very basic requirements this lifestyle
That's such a good description of dropping and it takes experience to understand what to do and not think that your unstable or loosing the plot
thank you for sharing , many people will have experienced similar but due to inexperienced not understood what was happening
Firstly let me say it's so refreshing to read this post. This is an invaluable and every dominant and submissive should know how to recognise it and know what to do
it's important to say it's not a myth is something very real
for newbies out there either submissive or dominant sub drop is
The Read more… temporary depression and/or chemical dis-balance experienced by submissive/masochists after intense BDSM play. This can be short lived or can be a delayed reaction, and/or can last as long as a week... If You are the Dominant or Top in the situation it is Your responsibility to see your play partner through this period of chemical dis-balance and or depression and make sure they are safe, sane and healthy.
The "low" feeling a person experiences (usually a submissive) after a BDSMsession. Generally caused by a sharp decrease in endorphins, cortisol, epinephrine, and adrenaline after ending a session. Similar to coming down after a high.
Subdrop is the state of physical, emotional, and psychological withdrawal from an intense interaction with another person.
As the above posters have rightly said both Submissive and Dominants can experience the "drop "
After care such as cuddles blanket drinks etc is required , remember to care for someone includes both physically and emotionally
Recognising the signs of drop during and immediately after is vital
some submissives can become "dazed" speech can become tad garbled or person may look and sound disorientated , other signs include
flu like symptoms
feing sad or low
particular those in long distance relationships can have huge drops after a overnight or weekend meets
Many presume aftercare is immediate after but that's incorrect , contact afterward is vital , no matter how text phone cam etc
Also little things like a bracelet is often given to a submissive to wear as a token to touch etc so she can feel contact without being side by side
Sending little video snippets etc can help
saphy gave a great description of how to cared her Dominant ... it's definitely a two way street to care and nurture each other
lol Sorry I got on my soap box