CopperKnob Posted March 27, 2022 Posted March 27, 2022 If you speak about your dick-pic-inappropriate-explicit-message infested inbox on Fet, there will always be some people who tell you to stop complaining. What's one dickhead in the grand scheme of things, they'll ask. Just be quiet and move on. It's no big deal. Why do you feel the need to call them out? The trouble is, is that rape culture isn't just one dickhead. There are thousands of them, but for the sake of our apologists, let's pretend he's one man. Let's call him Bob. You first meet Bob when he shouts crude things at you on your way to class at school. He snaps your bra at break time. He looks up your netball skirt in PE. He pinxhes your arse and pushes you against a wall at a party. If you're lucky, you'll get away. Bob doesn't grow up when school ends. He's there on the tube trying to grope you in a crowd. By the time you turn 21, Bob will have become a constant presence in your life, but you still have the luxury of patience, so you say nothing and quash your irritation. By the time you turn 30, Bob will have sent you hundreds of unsolicited dick pics. At this stage, he might even have flashed you, or worse raped you, and that makes those dick pics particularly hard to take. You don't want to drown in your own anger though, so you work through it in therapy and return to your silence. As the world moves online, Bob follows you onto social media. From the comfort of his own home, he can reach you a lot more frequently, and that wears thin after a while. After years of silence, you start to learn that other women are dealing with Bob, too. Rape culture is oppressive, but you find out that it gets lighter when we speak to one another about it. When we realise the universality of the problem, it becomes easier to carry. When we judge those who contribute to rape culture, we finally stop judging ourselves. When we call them out, their behaviour loses its power. When we unravel the irrationality of their beliefs, we see the rationality in our response. When we other them, they become more distant, and we can get back to our right of feeling comfortable in our own skin. There are so many reasons that I speak out, and all of them are more relevant than any reason/s for insisting on our silence which, and lets be honest, generally amount to, "you're on the internet" "you're on a kink site" "you're being disrespectful" "just ignore it". I'm not goung to ignore it. I'm protesting against a culture that's been in our lives for decades. You're protesting against an internet post you don't agree with, but sure, we're the ones being pathetic. We're the ones who should be quiet. Those who complain about my writing always have one universal accusation: I, and the others that share similar views in the comments are 'petty'. Complaining about bigotry is not inherently bigoted. It assigns misogyny to an act. It doesn't assign an act to an entire gender. There's a world of difference between the two. Let's say I go to a resturant and my steak is under cooked. I complain and sent the meal back. I'm complaining about the meal, not the whole menu and certainly not the whole damn establishment. If Bob represented the entire sex, I would be bigoted. Bob doesn't, though. Thankfully. He is simply a symbol of rape culture. But, since all those that are Bob's friends believe so much in being quiet and moving on, I trust we don't have a problem. Talking about a bit of writing on the internet would just be petty, after all ____________________________________________________ Don't believe in rape culture? You don't know anyone who'll do any of that ☝️? Have a look at a study called Denying Rape but Endorsing Forceful Intercourse: Exploring Differences Among Responders And tell me there's no such thing.