The oxymoron of *** and pleasure

[Deleted Member]

I’m still relatively new to the lifestyle, and one thing that I’ve debated in my head throughout is the difference between *** and pleasure. To a BDSM outsider, they are polar-opposite sensations.

As a switch, it’s a question I feel I should know the answer to, but don’t. Chatting to a Domme the other day, just the words “I’d love to thrash you” sent me into overdrive, and yet I don’t know why.

It would also appear that people with more experience have a higher *** threshold, although I suspect in reality it’s the threshold between *** being pleasurable and not. I also suspect that comes from our brain associating *** with something enjoyable, and hence the level at which we can enjoy it increases with time (training as some call it).

The answer probably lies with endorphins, associated with both, but I’m not 100% sure.

Interested to understand other peoples’ views. As I say I’m still relatively new to this so apologies if similar topics have been posted previously.

[Matttster]

I think everyone is different. For some, *** can be pleasurable, for some the *** can intensify the pleasure. The amount of *** one takes that is pleasurable varies upon their mood as well. And as you noted, people that have been involved with *** for a time can build a tolerance for it.

I have had partners who do not derive any pleasure from ***, some that a little *** increases their pleasure (timing is key) and some that love the ***. Some like a little *** once worked up, and for some the *** gets them worked up.

So it is all about what a person likes. There is science behind it as well, with endorphins building. But personally it is about exploring with a partner to learn wha their body likes.

[ge****]

Another factor to consider is the ***/pleasure paradox can be situational - if someone in the street walked up and spanked me without asking there would be no pleasure in that.
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However put me in a situation where I have agreed to submit and agreed boundaries/limits etc and then put me in a submissive mindset then *** becomes more acceptable and is part of doing something you find pleasurable and so is a different sensation.
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The *** is also *usually* built up in a D/s scenario, starting at, for example, light spanks and building in intensity and hardness so the "***" element dulls and becomes more tolerable.
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A lot of it is to do with the mindset and endorphins though

[ey****]

So people do have different *** tolerances and that can be a factor (there is a guy who does a lot of filming and there's a scene where every single can is used on him until it breaks.... he has nerve damage due to something medical and so the cane strokes on his arse feel like pretty much nothing to him - this of course gets him lots of attention which he likes)

But there are people with a slightly lower tolerance who still push for high ***.

The endorphins is a big part because it is the whole fight or flight thing - and the more the *** the more your body tries to combat these.    

But, also, when some people talk about pleasure and *** - this can be to do with the diversity of activities they like - for example - sensation play after a heavy beating when the body is more alert and sensitive can have heightened results