doug Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 I'm usually very mild mannered, what I say in my head is pretty raunchy or assertive but it's hard for me to bring that outwards Because I'm never sure where the boundary lies. I've participated CNC type things in personal fantasy both as the reciever and the giver and I've participated as degrader and degradee in personal fantady as well. What I say in my head during these noments can get intense and I know not everyone is into that. I had a client today who wanted a video of me degrading them for being into my feet, I did ok but I wanna do better and I'm not really sure of where exactly to draw the line when I'm dishing it out because the farthest I've gone was cursing calling them a pig or calling them disgusting, I was a little scared of pushing the boundary if I got too involved because they're not just a paying customer but a comeplete stranger who likely doesn't think like I do or could even at worst be made uncomfortable by my content.
Deleted Member Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 You have to ask them how far they want you to go, say on a scale of 1 to 10 & if there are any words or terms they don't like & if their are specific ones they enjoy - everyone is different so you need to get them to tell you what they want, how far they want you to go, what their limits are, as its only the client that can give you those answers. Make a small list of questions to ask them to help you gather some information from them before a session.
ge**** Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 11 minutes ago, DomDaddySir said: You have to ask them how far they want you to go, say on a scale of 1 to 10 & if there are any words or terms they don't like & if their are specific ones they enjoy - everyone is different so you need to get them to tell you what they want, how far they want you to go, what their limits are, as its only the client that can give you those answers. Make a small list of questions to ask them to help you gather some information from them before a session. Exactly this - people on a forum are only going to be able to give very high level generalised answers - the people that matter, those you meet and interact with, are the ones you need to ask. . Many professional dominants set some time aside (particularly for first meetings) "off the clock" before any play to get an understanding of their clients wants, needs, boundaries and limits - so suggest you do similar - can either be before they arrive via email/phone etc or on arrival.
Gr**** Posted April 12, 2022 Posted April 12, 2022 You can also ask them when they've been the most publicly embarrassed by their kink, and get them to describe the circumstances. I only watched the first season of a Netflix show called, I think, "Bonding," but when a character finally confesses his interest in feet to a main character, their confessor immediately scrunches up their nose and confirms, "I never knew that you like smelly, stinky feet." The fetishist is immediately uncomfortable and starts squirming. What's humiliating for one person may have no effect on another. There's a line between generating a raging blush and being the negative focus of someone's next therapy appointment. Let your client do the heavy lifting on this one by giving you some details from which you can identify boundaries.
Th**** Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 Well if they are asking for it and they are paying strangers I wouldn’t hold back
Th**** Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 Well if they are asking for it and they are paying strangers I wouldn’t hold back you have to do somethjng that seperstes yourself from everybody else
ge**** Posted April 13, 2022 Posted April 13, 2022 13 minutes ago, Sicilianfuktoy said: Well if they are asking for it and they are paying strangers I wouldn’t hold back you have to do somethjng that seperstes yourself from everybody else Sorry, but just because they are paying strangers doesn't mean they don't have limits and boundaries - so it's not simply a case of not holding back. . The *only* way to approach it is to discuss with them up front what their limits/boundaries are to truly understand how far to take it.
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