Getting to the bottom of topping?

[SapphicScientist]

What does dom space feel like to you? What does it sound like? Are you normally pursuing topspace? How often are you in domspacs? And how do you get to domspace?

[Deleted Member]

Dom space is whatever we define it as. We being the people involved. In Total Power Exchange I’d be a Dom all the time we are together. But still within the boundaries of the relationship. Example. If I want you to wear red lace thongs and you say no. My limit is anything but red. Then I won’t make you wear red thongs. Cause that’s the boundary. When I’m in Dom space. It’s only cause the sub has allowed it. After establishing ground rules. It’s a partnership that requires honesty. Communication. And respect.

[Deleted Member]

to me it's like hyperfocusing on something, there is no other thought or any other thing happening outside of what im doing. i also feel a connection to my sub, which i dont feel in any other way. i dont pursue it, but it's absolutely amazing. in situations of full control and/or with an obedient partner i go into Dom space quickly and easily - that can be through SM or caregiving. depending on the partner it can be exhausting or envigorating, and how long and how often I'm in Dom space depends on it.

[SapphicScientist]

3 hours ago, Sir-or-Daddy said:

Dom space is whatever we define it as. We being the people involved. In Total Power Exchange I’d be a Dom all the time we are together. But still within the boundaries of the relationship. Example. If I want you to wear red lace thongs and you say no. My limit is anything but red. Then I won’t make you wear red thongs. Cause that’s the boundary. When I’m in Dom space. It’s only cause the sub has allowed it. After establishing ground rules. It’s a partnership that requires honesty. Communication. And respect.

So what do you define it as? I'm referring to the headspace of dominance, like subspace, not the boundaries of the relationship or a "dom's space"

[Sc****]

It's like @enbydaddydom said, Hyper focused, almost like a flow state. Electricity controlled in a bottle. Released in micro doses when needed. As least that's how it feels to me.

[Al****]

I am a Gentleman Dom and I have only ever reached Dom Space once and that is because the sub i was with. It was her only goal was to get me to Dom space that session.
For me my mind went blank I was in a euphoric state of blissfully happy yet I was crying. I never felt anything like it before or since. We went our separate ways after that weekend but we are really good friends. She was worried about drop for the next week but I never really had a bad drop. I think about her and I just smile.

[ad****]

It feels powerful, which can be seductive if not tempered. It feels accepting, forgiving, harmonious. Especially when I have subconsciously deemed being dominant (and even male) as a dangerous and bad thing, it feels liberating and expansive to let it out and see that it's acceptable in the eyes of others.

[Lord_Talion]

Empowering with trust and devotion

[Me****]

Dom space for me feels like a runners high. The euphoria and clear feeling where any external exhaustion starts to fade away and a blissful numbness goes along my skin. Generally though no, I am not pursuing top space because I tend to focus on my sub much more then myself. I am happy and content with being there for my sub. Due to me being both a Daddy Dom as well as a Pleasure Dom my goal tends to be making their minds think of nothing else but the moment and then taking care and doting in them afterwards. Because to me that matters so much more then chasing a high.

[Mo****]

To me that’s like asking, “What’s it like to breathe?”. I don’t really notice it. It is just there, an every day occurrence. Not something that is turned on or off as I see it. I see it as a part of me. Just as a submissive gets the feelings of satisfaction of being submissive without being in a bdsm setting.

[SapphicScientist]

11 hours ago, MedicOne said:

Dom space for me feels like a runners high. The euphoria and clear feeling where any external exhaustion starts to fade away and a blissful numbness goes along my skin. Generally though no, I am not pursuing top space because I tend to focus on my sub much more then myself. I am happy and content with being there for my sub. Due to me being both a Daddy Dom as well as a Pleasure Dom my goal tends to be making their minds think of nothing else but the moment and then taking care and doting in them afterwards. Because to me that matters so much more then chasing a high.

I agree, I think I'd only consider pursuit of that feeling if I were doing a super low risk, simple scene me and my partner have practiced many times. And it was what the sub wanted. I'm very careful as a dom which I think is important but I think has contributed to me not experiencing much domspace. But finding people to care for and practice with seems far easier on this app

[Me****]

2 hours ago, scientistxSaturday said:

I agree, I think I'd only consider pursuit of that feeling if I were doing a super low risk, simple scene me and my partner have practiced many times. And it was what the sub wanted. I'm very careful as a dom which I think is important but I think has contributed to me not experiencing much domspace. But finding people to care for and practice with seems far easier on this app

Thats fair. I havent been able to really pursue it for a while. Most of my recent partners have either not been into this community or I hadnt had the time to develop that connection due to distance and time constraints. But even if I had the opportunity like I have in the past. Its something that for me comes second at the high end of the spectrum. I personally derive much more enjoyment in either A: doing as a pleasure dom does and shooting for a specific number 😉. Or B: as a caregiver making sure that my significant other is being taken care of and her needs are being met both inside and outside of the bedroom. Being there as that rock for their little space. And knowing and feeling that trust with something so damn precious. To me is worth more then any fleeting high ^-^

[SapphicScientist]

2 hours ago, MedicOne said:

Thats fair. I havent been able to really pursue it for a while. Most of my recent partners have either not been into this community or I hadnt had the time to develop that connection due to distance and time constraints. But even if I had the opportunity like I have in the past. Its something that for me comes second at the high end of the spectrum. I personally derive much more enjoyment in either A: doing as a pleasure dom does and shooting for a specific number 😉. Or B: as a caregiver making sure that my significant other is being taken care of and her needs are being met both inside and outside of the bedroom. Being there as that rock for their little space. And knowing and feeling that trust with something so damn precious. To me is worth more then any fleeting high ^-^

That's beautiful, you sound really considerate.

[Me****]

13 hours ago, scientistxSaturday said:

That's beautiful, you sound really considerate.

I try to be when I can. Doesnt always work out due to the whole being a constant sarcastic a**hole. But overall I feel like I do a pretty alright job ^-^.

[Ad****]

I've been told I'm a pleasure dom, and a soft dom, by some. Its wierd though, only one comment so far has matched my experience. I dont have an off off switch, I tend to just be naturally dominant most of the time. Although I'm a bit of a switch and some times I prefer the other person to take charge. I've been trying to wrap my head around this idea that is so often spoken about in here... it seems as if taking on a role or a character of a "dom". I still dont quite get it but I'm fairly curious.

[ko****]

I try to top from the bottom, but sometimes after tied things change….OMG OUCH!

[Deleted Member]

It feels like you're consuming the person, spiritually/emotionally. Not in a bad way but yeah. Once you're done you have pried apart their doors and exposed them fully to yourself, in a loving way.

But I'd never play with a woman who didn't want this and I think you can only do it if they love you because it transcends immediate feelings/physical response and requires emotional trust.