Deleted Member Posted July 15, 2022 Posted July 15, 2022 Something I have noticed is many women on regular dating sites seem at least OK with the idea of BDSM play sometimes(as submissives). I'm curious if this mainstreaming has had an impact on the types of people or values who visit fetish specific sites? For example, if it's considered OK to like being tied up in mainstream dating why bother? I use to think it's odd poly is so dominant on fetish sites but now I suspect the people who want more traditional relationships with BDSM play use regular dating apps causing nontraditional relationships to become the primary ones seen here.
ey**** Posted July 15, 2022 Posted July 15, 2022 there was something interesting I was reading the other day - and - over time different kinks, ideas, dynamics, etc. will be less "taboo" then they were (but can become more, again) I think we would struggle to find metrics but I think there are an awful lot of people who enjoy kink in their relationships -who don't use sites like this (or maybe do, for a little bit reading) don't really go to munches, or fetish events or anything like that. Like, in the UK you can buy sex toys from high street shops, or not too specialist online But I think these are not formal D/s - there's Dominant or submission - they just might enjoy role play, or fetishes, or different activities. So yeah, I don't think on most online dating sites that you have to shy away from writing certain likes. I'm sure many workplaces have had conversations a-la-50-shades (or 365 days, haha) whether this is good or bad is subjective - a lot maybe depends on what people want or expect. Even stuff like poly - some of the mainstream dating sites cater for it. the difference, I think - is sites like this are more specialist. that most people on here should be kinky or kink-curious to some degree and a lot depends on what you'd want also. If you want a nice partner who you occasionally do spanking or role play in the bedroom with a basics kit from Ann Summers (of which there is absolutely nothing wrong with and I encourage it!) then there are many options on mainstream dating But I think if you want a Mistress, or a D/s relationship, or any form of BDSM beyond the above - then sites like this have a place. For information as much as anything else. Mind; the best thing of things going mainstream is I meet so many people via Twitter and it's much easier to hire a venue for a munch or fetish party.
ge**** Posted July 15, 2022 Posted July 15, 2022 Agree with eyem - while kink/BDSM has undeniably become more mainstream - it's only to a degree. . Those on the mainstream side are likely to have the "bit of kink to spice things up" view and yet if you told them their "interest" fell under an umbrella that encompassed such things as CNC, CBT, breath play, edge play, *** play etc they would run a mile screaming all the way. . Then you have to consider that on the mainstream dating sites while there may be a bit more openness to all things kink, they're not specifically there to cater to it, so while you *may* find a potential kink partner there, it's probably a fairly narrow field - where on sites like this you at least know you're on similar pages from the start and feel able to discuss kink up front rather than potentially having to hedge around it a little.
gr**** Posted July 16, 2022 Posted July 16, 2022 Yeah the 50 Shades, and normalization through Hollywood have really changed the culture and interacations. Even like this site does not allow specific things.
ey**** Posted July 16, 2022 Posted July 16, 2022 I was thinking a bit before also that there are sites like this can exist as viable is a positive of the mainstream of kink there are so many sites in years gone by that couldn't attract enough membership and/or advertising to remain viable - that a lot of payment processors would be reluctant to touch *at all* let alone with caveats
Dy**** Posted July 18, 2022 Posted July 18, 2022 A lot of "submissives" that reach out to me now are ones that have traditional relationship history and want to try something else out, or have a 50 Shades fantasy, or are married/coupled and want to try something out they can't get from their significant other. I've had to temper my response to all of them, but it's difficult to weed them all out in one conversation.
Blzbob_redux Posted July 20, 2022 Posted July 20, 2022 I'm not sure it is mainstream per se. Yes quite a few people want a little more risqué as that's now expected. But put them in a true nick situation and it could be vastly different. I'm the taste instances I get into dialogue it's important to really see what they think it is. Fluffy cuffs and a rampant rabbit with a playful spank isn't really it. Without care it can lead to distress and disillusionment.
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