Older women

[Deleted Member]

I am just curious to know why a lot of women that are older than my age, like over 30 are so afraid to discuss more with a younger dom and why younger women wants someone who is older? I feel like at 29 is so hard to find a nice person to have fun with because almost everyone is looking for someone older.

[at****]

Many younger women are looking older. ***/maturity/experience. Older are looking for less experienced to dominate and teach. Or the ones that are loose in a sense. I find my age 38 at peak. Younger women eat it up. And older women seek it to settle down with.

[Lo****]

I’m just more comfortable with somebody around my own age. They are more likely to have similar experiences, goals and emotional maturity. 

[Zela]

As an ‘older’ woman 🙄 I can only speak about my experience. 90% of men who contact me are younger subs despite the fact that my profile indicates I’m looking for a top/dom. Most if the time, these young men are not exactly into the lifestyle but mainly looking for an easy lay - hard pass on that kiddos!

[Cr****]

I’m 48. While I enjoy the young men I personally often find myself not knowing if I want to **** their brains out or make them cookies and talk about how to start a retirement account. There is a fine line and it really depends on the person.

[Jeromiah]

I’m a unicorn but I prefer younger guys. Mainly because they’re hot and I never got to date young guys when I was young so now I wanna make up for it before settling with some old ugly same age man when I’m 40 plus

[Go****]

I'm 34 but from a younger age I've always gravitated towards older men. It has nothing to do with experience or anything I've just always desired to be with older men.

[Deleted Member]

Just from my own experience here, I can say that it's not that I'm afraid, just wary, I've had a lot of young men contact me telling me they're Doms, initially they'll tell me what they think i want but inevitably they start seeding the conversation with questions about if I've ever switched and how their fantasy is to be used by an older woman. obviously they want to explore their sub kinks but that isn't what I've talked about in my profile. I also get alot of young supposed Doms who think that dominating is about calling me names and fu*king me hard and that's usually the start of the conversation for them and the end of one for me.

Rightly or wrongly I usually assume an older gentleman has more experience and is relaxed and confident with his intrinsic dominance which is reassuring for me.

[AKA_Copper]

People like/want what they like/want. As an older person, your username would put me off. That may sound mean yet that's not the intention but for me, it doesn't indicate that we're looking for the same thing. As others have commented, its not about age per se, but maturity

[ey****]

it's not (necessarily) that they are looking for someone older than them - they simply have their own boundaries when moving younger

some of this has come up before that some do not want any form of partner who is around that of their *** (which can include adult *** in 20s and 30s) 

also less so about age but more so about experience - and there's stuff that can tie together here - it might not necessarily be your age but that you are claiming to be a Dominant whilst demonstrating inexperience.  The steps here are to get the experience.

 

[Lo****]

1 hour ago, Cravetheline said:

or make them cookies and talk about how to start a retirement account.

😂😂😂

[Po****]

A lot of what I find attractive in a man physically usually presents in older men: greys (really love white hair!), bald, broader shoulders with bigger bellies, etc. That’s really the name of the game for most of us who are attracted to older men. We are true to this not new to this :P

[da****]

For me it's only in the person they are, I am

[da****]

Sorry I hit send before I finished. I was saying I am not looking for another child to raise though lol.

[Li****]

Younger doms tend to be inexperienced and immature I think 29 is a good age tho for subs between 20-23 it just depends on what someone is looking for

[ge****]

It's not your age, more you've not found the person you connect with, and who connects with you.
.
Most men and women find some level of "difficulty" finding people to meet on sites like this and often, in the case of men, because they have incorrectly set expectations and lose sight of all the usual rules of attraction, and usually grasp at something to "blame", like age, to explain it - when more often than not it comes down to incorrect expectations, attitude or approach.
.
Stick to being genuinely and authentically you - find ways of using the site that work for you, get your attitude and expectations right and couple all that with a decent profile/pics as well as making an effort to get along to events and munches and it won't guarantee a thing, but it will improve your perception and experience of the site.

[Deleted Member]

Hi guys! Just to clarify a few things, maybe I didn’t send the correct info or vibe with my topic. Is not about the connection, or experience or anything related to this. I am simply talking about what a lot of women simply put in their description, select their filters for older men and also about the fact that after my first message I received the next message: I think you’re a bit younger. All this without knowing me or making an effort to know me or just give me some time to prove who I am.

[AKA_Copper]

57 minutes ago, DanielFunTime said:

Hi guys! Just to clarify a few things, maybe I didn’t send the correct info or vibe with my topic. Is not about the connection, or experience or anything related to this. I am simply talking about what a lot of women simply put in their description, select their filters for older men and also about the fact that after my first message I received the next message: I think you’re a bit younger. All this without knowing me or making an effort to know me or just give me some time to prove who I am.

That doesn't really change my earlier comment
I did check out your profile though and see you've been here for 2 weeks. Your username combined with a blank bio, the fact that you aren't single and yet make no ref to your partner/ENM/poly is more than likely a factor in what you're experiencing than age.

[Deleted Member]

Afraid is absolutely the wrong word. Not interested would be mine. For me, I don't care how much gravitas and domliness you think you have, *I* don't feel it bc I am older and therefore "the grown up". I can't sub to someone when I feel that way. It's my perspective, it's not going to change, and the amount of younger Doms who've told me I'm wrong and blah blah blah have simply shown me they don't have the maturity to accept my decision. I prefer older because it helps me tap more easily into my submission. Simple as that.

[al****]

It's usually from experience, I dates younger than me before and it was a nightmare. He had no idea how to "adult" and I became responsible for everything from chores to bills, and that just killed off any chance of a future. Afterwards I said I'd never date younger than me again, until I met someone organically (not through apps/online) we got chatting and found an unbelievable connection and suddenly his age didn't matter. He was the complete opposite and made me realise it wasn't the age that was the issue, it was the person. He wouldn't even have come up on my dating apps as I'd have filtered him out so it was a huge lesson learnt, albeit one I hope not to need, as I'm not planning on this one ending 😂.

[Lo****]

1 hour ago, DanielFunTime said:

Hi guys! Just to clarify a few things, maybe I didn’t send the correct info or vibe with my topic. Is not about the connection, or experience or anything related to this. I am simply talking about what a lot of women simply put in their description, select their filters for older men and also about the fact that after my first message I received the next message: I think you’re a bit younger. All this without knowing me or making an effort to know me or just give me some time to prove who I am.

Because it doesn’t matter who you are. Just the fact that you are younger than someone is looking for is enough. You don’t need to prove anything to them. They don’t need to make an effort to get to know you. Limits are limits.

[Ju****]

Ok on my personal level.. i cannot and will not consider anyone whos under 25 to 27ish. It's an absolute no go for me.

Ive stated this on my own account before and my couple account, *absolutely no under 25s*. And lo and behold, i had a 23yr old try to argue me out of that due to him being "mature for his age". No. You've ignored and are trying to sway, my boundary for your own gain and rejecting what I am saying. Limits are limits as someone said above.

 

I can and am, dating someone (2yr) younger. They are mature and very compatible with me, yet we both have our immature, giggly, goofy moments too.

But if and when a serious convo or whatever is needed... we both have the mental capacity and maturity to deal with it.

 

A lot of people under 25 apparently haven't mentally / emotionally matured by this age. And that is what i keep in mind.

(I read a few articles a while back to talk myself out of my age limit but it only solidified it further).

 

 

For example a lady over 30 will usually go for a 38 year old Daddy dom... who has that experience in kink and bdsm and if not... usually in sex and relationships. If none of those... just life in general.

 

I've seen people run very, very fast from the 18yr old ultra daddy doms that f**k hardcore 24/7. I mean... some profiles say this and that already speaks a maturity age regarding sex... not knowing that 'most' people don't want that 24/7 sex cus it's basically impossible... Profile detailing... you can see who's mature and knowledgeable and who's simply liking the idea to land an older woman.

And you don't have the years to add on to gain daddy dom roles. Sure you can do it at that age... but realistically its still learning and researching and exploring. Some that i've came across have tried to trick me with their "knowledge" and even claim to be "better than anything my partner can give". Which is another red flag and automatic strike off.

 

So with all these little interactions (that i have had and seen as well as friends sharing stories), and the fact my kids are now almost ***agers... i just feel i should be looking 'level' or up. Not down.... *in age range*. I'm just wired that way i guess.

[Deleted Member]

it comes down to experience. the assumption that the older someone is the more experienced they are is not always a legit sentiment in my view

[Deleted Member]

I think it depends person to person. I’d like to think I’m mature because I had to grow up very quickly when I were in my early 20’s. But I can still be immature when the time calls for it. Just have to respect what others find attractive

[Deleted Member]

15 minutes ago, lozwardo said:

I think it depends person to person. I’d like to think I’m mature because I had to grow up very quickly when I were in my early 20’s. But I can still be immature when the time calls for it. Just have to respect what others find attractive

Your final comment here is absolutely key.