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Does this ever happen?

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Deleted Member

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Do play partners especially demisexuals ever grow feelings or even fall in love during the time spent together. Is it possible?

Deleted Member

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Yes, there is always the chance of feelings growing and becoming more

Deleted Member

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Someone who cannot have sex unless emotions are involved, basically

Deleted Member

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Yeah, I think it's possible like anyone else. Demisexuals are attracted to who you are (as opposed to looks). We are capable of not getting too attached and knowing boundaries.

Deleted Member

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A demisexual is someone who needs to have an emotional connection to have a sexual one.
Br****

Br****

Posted
The whole point of demisexual is you need some sort of connection to feel sexual desire. So yes they absolutely could. I'm Asexual/demi and and I can still develop feelings for a play partner. It might be rare but if they can't mentally stimulate me I can't feel anything towards them really.

Deleted Member

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6 minutes ago, Darkwolf513 said:

Someone who cannot have sex unless emotions are involved, basically

So, the usual situation for most adults. I see.

I thought it might be something akin to a musical note value - demisemiquaver, for instance...

Ar****

Ar****

Posted
Yes - it can happen under almost any circumstances, but spending regular time together in situations where intimacy is shared naturally increases the chance of such an occurrence
Br****

Br****

Posted
11 minutes ago, wicklowdom said:

So, the usual situation for most adults. I see.

I thought it might be something akin to a musical note value - demisemiquaver, for instance...

A lot of adult can have sex without their being an emotional connection. One nights, paying for it etc. A demisexual could not do this. It couldn't even be entertained. They don't look at someone and think "I want to jump their bones" whatever the thing is that allows people to see someone and think I really want to fuck them doesn't exist. Things have to align in a specific way before we feel sexual desire for them.

Deleted Member

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10 minutes ago, BrattyRaven said:

A lot of adult can have sex without their being an emotional connection. One nights, paying for it etc. A demisexual could not do this. It couldn't even be entertained. They don't look at someone and think "I want to jump their bones" whatever the thing is that allows people to see someone and think I really want to fuck them doesn't exist. Things have to align in a specific way before we feel sexual desire for them.

Of course they do, and such encounters are generally unsatisfying, besides being risky. It's a characteristic of a mature adult that he/she does not need cheap thrills but seeks something more stable and meaningful, at least it used to be

Deleted Member

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45 minutes ago, BrattyRaven said:

A lot of adult can have sex without their being an emotional connection. One nights, paying for it etc. A demisexual could not do this. It couldn't even be entertained. They don't look at someone and think "I want to jump their bones" whatever the thing is that allows people to see someone and think I really want to fuck them doesn't exist. Things have to align in a specific way before we feel sexual desire for them.

I think there's a spectrum for demisexual like everything else. I still see attraction in others but I won't be satisfied with a sexual experience no matter how appealing they look.

Deleted Member

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Ohhhh, yes. I’ve personally bordered on obsessive at times.

Deleted Member

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2 hours ago, Aranhis said:
Yes - it can happen under almost any circumstances, but spending regular time together in situations where intimacy is shared naturally increases the chance of such an occurrence

THIS! You can’t really take me out, casually or joke with me about relationship stuff. I won’t always understand it’s a joke and I tend to romanticize normal interactions outside of sex.

Ho****

Ho****

Posted
Surely, the basics of human instinct suggest that physical attraction comes first? Whether conscious or subconscious it's got to play an important role in choosing a mate
ey****

ey****

Posted

nope; no one ever fell in love with someone by spending extended time together ;) 

Da****

Da****

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The way you’re looking at it makes it seem like sexuality is the same thing as sexual preferences. You can love someone and still be asexual. Or you could be bisexual and androromantic (which means I like playing with males and females, but I’m more mentally attracted to masc traits)

Deleted Member

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9 hours ago, Sw33tGirl247 said:

I think there's a spectrum for demisexual like everything else. I still see attraction in others but I won't be satisfied with a sexual experience no matter how appealing they look.

And does that spectrum have sub-spectrums?

ey****

ey****

Posted
41 minutes ago, wicklowdom said:

And does that spectrum have sub-spectrums?

Demisexual is part of the asexual spectrum

in itself I'm sometimes feeling it's being a misrepresented term - but certainly, yeah, it would have it's own assorted spectrum.

For example - you might still find people physically attractive (just not sexually attractive) or this might not matter to you

you could also certainly want to date people despite not wanting to have sex with them.  - or indulge in BDSM play without it being sexually arousing

you could even... fall in love... without being sexually attracted to them

the only difference is that you are not sexually attracted unless there is a connection, usually deep

so yep, it's something else where there is a lot of variety.  But anyone Demi has it in common that they are, ultimately, not sexually attracted to someone unless there is a connection.  

Th****

Th****

Posted
I've had this happen before and as a result I've learned to be very careful not only in choosing who I play with, but also making those feelings known if they develop. I've also learned to learned to recognize when someone is taking advantage of those feelings and telling me what I want to hear just to keep me around. Far too much of that out there too. So I guess to answer your question, yes it's absolutely possible. So choose wisely and protect your tender heart ❤️☺️
sm****

sm****

Posted

It not only happens in a scene relationship but also Vanilla.

Once you start spending extended time together even if it doesn't start out sexual or even poles apart in what your looking for, you do start to see and feel a connection in things you would normally miss out on.  These grow, Can and Do turn in to feelings.

The main thing is, is it reciprocated, it can get awkward and soul destroying if it's a one way thing.

I have seen it from both sides, when it's reciprocated and both click and get on, epic, but when it's only one way iv'e seen friendships break apart or not have that same vibe and innocent closeness it once had.

kimutu72

kimutu72

Posted
i had a guy i met we agreed it would be fortnightly (coz of life) who then wanted to meet weekly, then wanted to try be the dom which i went along with but then asked to go out on dates then wanted to be exclusive then told me he loved me, and broke all the agreements we made, when i said we need to stop for awhile he got obsessed made fake profiles got his friends to message me in the end i had to block him. He is the only 1that has done that
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