A little confused by things i am recently finding out about myself advice please.

[Steampunkicuras]

Hello, 

I am relatively new to the scene. My last ex introduced me to the lifestyles, and we found comfort in ddlg. But we started getting intimate, she talks telling me to stop holding back and i just start letting loose. As I start to let loose i got more aggressive physically, and the next morning we had found a fair number of new bruises from that night. It actually felt really good to let loose like that; though at some point i didnt speak anymore i just growled and grunted as i was completely dominating; not going into much more detail. but I never got to let completely go on it, i was looking into the BDSM arch-type page and the primal hunter catagory seems to be the closest decription to. Now on to what i need advise about though, I enjoyed the ddlg lifestyle in day to day life, but in the bedroom how does the primal tie into it? and I am terrified if i let completely go with my next partner (when ever that may be at this point) that i might hurt them severly more than just bruising, and when i was letting go before i could feel the control over strength and force slip little by little as i gave into instinct and urge and desires. Is it normal like that when letting go? am I weird with that much control slipping? should i try to find a way to embrace it more? should i avoid it since strength control seems to slip when letting go? I am not sure on all this so I could use some advice.... if this is a strange train of thought i apologize.

[Deleted Member]

The most inportant thing to remember in any situation is the control. Always be in control of what you are doing, even if its intense like rough sex. 

I am primal when we are in the sex mode, I bite, slap and strangle but always always remember whos on the other side, its my little kitten sub and I wont like to harm her because I let myself going to far. 

So I am not sure how big you are and how primal you are, but there are some thinking to do, and not only with your dowstairs brain...

[ey****]

first off. I think it's good you're asking yourself these questions - try to answer them in your own time, rationally - it's very easy to get too excitable or to overthink

A thing to consider is that you don't (necessarily) know who your next (sexual) partner will be - what they're into and what scope for chat you'll get before the first time(s) you get intimate.

There are so so sooooo many variables - it's important not to get lost down too many rabbit holes.

To completely back up FabSeverus - always remain in control.  Regardless of the context and the interests - this may sound like a contradiction but you can stay in control whilst 'letting go' it's just important to know where the boundaries are of the other person and being able to back off if needed.

That's in between what she tells you and what you can read from her - remember - a golden rule is if you don't take things far enough, you can take them further next time - if you go too far, you can't always take it back.

[Deleted Member]

It is ALWAYS up to the Master/Dom/Daddy to maintain control , once a sub/little hits space they will be unaware of lots going on around them and often oblivious to acts being carried out that they would not normally agree to 

remember , SAFE, SANE, CONSENSUAL

and never play without a safe word 

[Steampunkicuras]

Thank y'all for the advice, at this point I do have time to think on all of it and figure a few things out. You are all kind and helpful thank you.