We've all heard the term at BDSM events, bandied about at play parties and in forums, but what does it mean to be "Primal"? Writer Blackie Quebedeaux sheds some light for those in the dark about what it means to be primal. Tune in to your inner animal and let it free!
A primal need: 101 on primal sex in BDSM
The first thing I'd like to tell you about primals is that being primal is different for everyone. There is no set in stone protocol or behavior that makes a person primal. Being primal simply means that you enjoy getting animalistic and basic during play or sex. You enjoy those basic feelings coming out, raw and unfiltered, whatever they may be. Love, anger, greed, silliness, and more, it's all ok with you, and the more animalistic and nonhuman seeming, the better. Primals shed their social niceties during play and act like the human animals they truly are.
How do primals play?
Primal sex and play may, at times, resemble a wrestling match in which the submissive is subdued during play. It could take on the form of a mating dance, be playful, physically painful and dirty or gentle and almost transcending sexuality. During primal play, you simply do what your instincts tell you to do.
Many primals identify with animals. Some feel the wolf's call within them, some the call of the big cats and some that of the apes. Some primals are monogamous, some form packs or prides and some swing. It should be noted that primal swinging is not exactly like ordinary swinging, so one should find out who the leader or alpha is, what limits there are and what rituals/protocols they follow, if any.
While most BDSM-friendly spaces will have an area focused on primals, it should be noted that for primals, play is less often done with a whip and handcuffs, and more often with nails, teeth and claws, the mental aspect, and of course muscle. Primals do have safe words, signals or grunts and do have hard and soft limits.
Quite a few primals love to play outdoors, so keep a blanket and or tent in the trunk. A primal scene in public can be disturbing to those who have never seen one before, or who are new to the community, so if playing at an event, inform a dungeon monitor, so people are not made too uncomfortable.
Play with primals can often involve biting, scratching, grunting, growling, roaring, screaming, yelping, ape-like sounds, hard grabbing, hair pulling and "dirty" talk. Because of the nature of the play, happenings like accidental elimination are common, so keep some baby wipes and alcohol handy during play. Since primal play often involves amounts of fear play and rough body contact play, some regard this form of activity as edge play.
Submission starts on the ground for primals.
A note on submission
In interacting with primals, I have noticed that as with other forms of D/s roles are not necessarily clear cut upon first meeting. Sometimes, primals must play, in their primal way, to determine who will dominate and who will submit. Whereas, in other D/s subgroups, one meets a potential partner and identifies himself as a "Dominant," in the primal world, the concept of dominance and submission may be much more fluid. Or in primal terms: Predators, Prey, Mates and Alphas.
One of the first things you find when you research primals are some basic terms. While your. Mileage may vary as to meaning, I will endeavor to define some of the most common terms here.
- Alpha -- The leader of a primal pack or pairing, the most dominant. (Sometimes, in a pack, there will be an alpha pair
- Predator -- A primal who takes on the role of the animal hunter who desires to capture prey
- Prey -- A primal who takes on the role of the animal hunted who desires being captured by the predator
- Hunter -- Someone who takes the role of the human hunter to catch and subdue the animal
- Mate -- One you form a bond with through sex and other play
- Pet -- (not exclusively primal), someone you might have sex with, but who is not accorded the rank of mate
- Furry -- (Not exclusively primal or BDSM), one who enjoys giving emotions and feelings to animals with human-like tendencies and features
This just barely scratches the surface of what it means to "be primal". If this is something you are interested in, have a talk with your partner about trying it out. You may never know, it might just knock your socks off.
Did this get you all randy and howling at the moon? Let us know about your primal experience! Got more questions? Let us know. Drop a comment below or start a thread in the forum. If you're new here on Fetish.com, welcome to the family!
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Images khakidoggy & elmo h. love via Flickr Creative Commons.
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