Sucessful Men

[CopperKnob]

Take a good, long, hard look at them. They’re not necessarily built like John Cena or Chris Evans.They’ve got dad bods, they’ve got 'flaws'. Rather than complain about their flaws, they focus on their strengths.
They aren't CEO's, Company Directors, and I'll go out on a limb here but I'm guessing that none of them have a private jet.

They’re genuine when they interact with people. They grab peoples minds, not just in their forum posts or comments but in their profile write up and their photo's. They never stop learning and aren’t afraid of being wrong, of others correctly them publicly. They say, “I’m sorry” when they either fuck up or sincerely aren’t interested and admit when they aren’t well versed in something but they’re also not afraid to talk about it and seek out sources to educate themselves more.

They aren’t afraid to answer questions when someone new, or experienced, asks an honest one. They put time effort and thought into their responses and give them respectfully.

They’re not gods and they don't treat women as if they are. They’re as real as possible and that's why they're sucessful. It's why they have the ability to form all types of relationships with the little pixels that we all are on their screens.

[eviltiger]

A really nice reflection on men. I do wonder if it's getting harder to be a successful man in todays world or if it's just my perspective or own experiences. We are taught from a young age not to complain or display weakness. We are taught to *** failure and when we do fail it is because we failed as a man. Yet to error is to be truly human. As I write this all I can think about is I am not achieving that successful status despite my efforts and I want to scream.

[Deleted Member]

I'm always excited when I see you're posts on here. This one lifted me up a during during a weird time, so thank you very much for that

[CopperKnob]

47 minutes ago, Domanaut said:

I'm always excited when I see you're posts on here. This one lifted me up a during during a weird time, so thank you very much for that

Hopefully the weirdness passes

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, eviltiger said:

A really nice reflection on men. I do wonder if it's getting harder to be a successful man in todays world or if it's just my perspective or own experiences. We are taught from a young age not to complain or display weakness. We are taught to *** failure and when we do fail it is because we failed as a man. Yet to error is to be truly human. As I write this all I can think about is I am not achieving that successful status despite my efforts and I want to scream.

I think, that the biggest problem with those raised as masculine is just that, that weakness should not be shown, that emotions should be tucked away, that failure is failing. Whatever happened to learning from our mistakes?
At the end of the day, success is subjective and once we've gained success in one area, we look to achieve it elsewhere. That, I think is human nature because, without goals to achieve, what are we doing?

[Se****]

I adore this writing. The very best men know how to be actual men. To admit mistakes, to apologise when required, be respectful and accept that sometimes they learn and sometimes they teach. To understand they aren’t superior to others nor inferior.

[CopperKnob]

9 minutes ago, Freetobare said:

I adore this writing. The very best men know how to be actual men. To admit mistakes, to apologise when required, be respectful and accept that sometimes they learn and sometimes they teach. To understand they aren’t superior to others nor inferior.

Precisely this!

[Gr****]

This is well said. Everything should be built on trust respect and communication.

[ey****]

I often find there is a lot of arguments from men I'm somewhat dismissive of, especially when it comes to LTR

I think that perhaps things can be more favourable if you're deemed good looking or wealthy for short term or hookups - but that is unlikely to yield the results people claim they want.

Myself, yeah, I'm not adonis.  I'm 41 next week, I could probably benefit from being a bit more trim.  Bits of age have caught up with me in the past couple of years.

Finance wise... dating in general is pretty expensive and there was a worrying report the other day at how many people are getting themselves into debt trying to date - at the minute I'm not affluent but can budget.  There's been times in the past couple of decades I have been scraping by and honestly, harsh budgets take it's toll and a lot of dating and kink did have to sit on the backburner.   It is extremely hard to date and meet people, for anyone, if finances are not quite in order.

But, I guess.  Do I get everything I want? No.  Do I still struggle with esteem and confidence? Yes.  But then, with some of my plans I've got lined up - are there a lot of guys who would swap places in a heartbeat? Yes.  But would most of them put in the work, time, patience, etc to get there? Well if they are they probably have (or will have) similar plans sooner or later.

Never, ever, underestimate the passive connections you build along your journey.

[DarkArts1066]

Good looks are, quite genuinely skin deep (unless you have naturally amazing cheekbones of course..)

Good manners are bred and nurtured.
I have my parents to thank for mine.

[Dy****]

What a nice thought to write down!

[CopperKnob]

Yesterday at 08:24 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

I often find there is a lot of arguments from men I'm somewhat dismissive of, especially when it comes to LTR

I think that perhaps things can be more favourable if you're deemed good looking or wealthy for short term or hookups - but that is unlikely to yield the results people claim they want.

Myself, yeah, I'm not adonis.  I'm 41 next week, I could probably benefit from being a bit more trim.  Bits of age have caught up with me in the past couple of years.

Finance wise... dating in general is pretty expensive and there was a worrying report the other day at how many people are getting themselves into debt trying to date - at the minute I'm not affluent but can budget.  There's been times in the past couple of decades I have been scraping by and honestly, harsh budgets take it's toll and a lot of dating and kink did have to sit on the backburner.   It is extremely hard to date and meet people, for anyone, if finances are not quite in order.

But, I guess.  Do I get everything I want? No.  Do I still struggle with esteem and confidence? Yes.  But then, with some of my plans I've got lined up - are there a lot of guys who would swap places in a heartbeat? Yes.  But would most of them put in the work, time, patience, etc to get there? Well if they are they probably have (or will have) similar plans sooner or later.

Never, ever, underestimate the passive connections you build along your journey.

And this is the thing, we all measure success in different ways. I worked hard to get a decent education and subsequently the career that I have, even though I choose one that's in no way going to make me well off financially, I'm lucky to be able to make do and I know that it'll never be a job that under threat of redundancy etc. But, focussing on the things I did came at a cost. I don't have the family I wanted and it's sometimes difficult being raised in a really traditional family where the female role is very much seen to be one of a housewife, keeping house, raising kids and maybe having a part time job. That's what success means to my whole family and yet, my cousins will sometimes say, that they're envious of me, sometimes I'm envious of them.
I'm rambling, but I think that the point I was trying to make is, to be considered as being successful to me at least, is setting your own goals, acheiving them and recognising that it's highly unlikely that we're all going to have the lives that we dream off whilst being humble enough to be accepting of what we do have

[0u****]

You hit the nail on the head. When you open your mouth you can only recite what you already know. When you take a the time to listen you Learn! Admitting you not a guinus at everything shows the desire to learn and improve... we understand it's a process. I've played 25 years and will learn everyday I possibly can!