The aftermath of the Netflix series "Bonding"

[Nocturne]

On one side, I don't feel a need to share much about personal happenings in my life on here. On the other side, I think it's quite concerning to know that a former sub of mine is trying to become a dominatrix. I have great sympathy for their desperation for money, but I know exactly how much experience and knowledge they have with domination, and it is absolutely none.

It seems too many people are taking the Netflix series 'bonding' to heart and expecting to be able to pull off the same thing, and it's genuinely quite concerning; these people might give out information they shouldn't, end up in places they don't want to be, end up with a situation they don't know how to handle, and if they do somehow manage to get a client, have the potential to harm the client or themselves in the process as a result of ignorance and impulsiveness.

I wonder whether others here have dealt with similar people, who think that if they've taken action in a scene they should be able to become a professional on it, and what the results have been of this.

[Za****]

I had a similar scenario in the past luckily a good explanation of the dangers and consequences is all they needed too be dissuaded from Pursuing their decision.

[ey****]

I don't necessarily specifically blame one TV show or another - but - any form of economic slow down, recession, etc. sees more people, especially women, enter some form of sex work

the kinda challenge a little bit is that anyone who sets high rates, most of the prospective clients will vet and check their experience - and those that seek out those with a lower rate : to a degree, should be aware of the risks they're taking

But this aside, your friend is becoming a Dominatrix and so you have choices.

Dissuading them from going down this route is not going to help their financial situation.  Even if you can convince them it's a lot of work and may not be the money maker they expect, this doesn't solved their financial plight and if they are your friend this is something you should at least help, support, or sign post on.

 

If, no, they really feel they should go down this route.  Then you can give them advice, support and share experience.   

 

But telling them "no, don't do this" if they're going in for financial reasons does not solve the financial plight 

[CopperKnob]

I do wonder about your thinking that a sub can't be a Dominatrix simply due to a lack of knowledge/experience. Whilst I agree with your concerns generally, I do think that we are all capable of learning in a variety of ways. It may be that the experience may not be "authentic" if they aren't a dominant but I am of the view that that dominance isn't simply about a dominating character/personality but also learning skills too, impact rope to name just two activities

[Nocturne]

1 hour ago, Zanemandine said:

I had a similar scenario in the past luckily a good explanation of the dangers and consequences is all they needed too be dissuaded from Pursuing their decision.

That's a relief, yes. Sadly I'm unable to reach this person and speak sense into them, and I had tried in the past, somehow it never made them reconsider though, now that I've left their life they seem to be pressing on the idea more than when I was there to tell them not to.

[Nocturne]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I don't necessarily specifically blame one TV show or another - but - any form of economic slow down, recession, etc. sees more people, especially women, enter some form of sex work

the kinda challenge a little bit is that anyone who sets high rates, most of the prospective clients will vet and check their experience - and those that seek out those with a lower rate : to a degree, should be aware of the risks they're taking

But this aside, your friend is becoming a Dominatrix and so you have choices.

Dissuading them from going down this route is not going to help their financial situation.  Even if you can convince them it's a lot of work and may not be the money maker they expect, this doesn't solved their financial plight and if they are your friend this is something you should at least help, support, or sign post on.

 

If, no, they really feel they should go down this route.  Then you can give them advice, support and share experience.   

 

But telling them "no, don't do this" if they're going in for financial reasons does not solve the financial plight 

That's true, if I still had this person in my life I could try to use this advice, but perhaps I can see if I can get that idea to them regardless. But the financial situation is definitely going to cause more cases of this, hopefully people will be able to do these things safely if they decide to, and not do it out of impulse while lacking experience. 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and advice!

[Nocturne]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

I do wonder about your thinking that a sub can't be a Dominatrix simply due to a lack of knowledge/experience. Whilst I agree with your concerns generally, I do think that we are all capable of learning in a variety of ways. It may be that the experience may not be "authentic" if they aren't a dominant but I am of the view that that dominance isn't simply about a dominating character/personality but also learning skills too, impact rope to name just two activities

True, them having been a sub doesn't mean they couldn't garner the skills to become an effective dominatrix. You're right; dominance isn't just about some inherent feature, it's also about skills. What makes me worried in that aspect however was that they were incredibly insecure about anything regarding dominance, especially if feeling even slightly criticised. That makes for a more turbulent learning experience. It will be a matter of time to see whether they will learn to accept correction in pursuit of improvement, but I likely will not hear of it.

[se****]

I would like to add, it is an art form to me. The creativity can bring it to another level of delicious.